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Is Google is the closest mankind has ever come to experiencing an actual Deity?
Yes 64%  64%  [ 9 ]
No 36%  36%  [ 5 ]
Total votes : 14

TheKing
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13 Feb 2011, 12:40 am

http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/

it has more verifiable evidence than any other religion does

check out the proofs page for reference


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Orwell
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13 Feb 2011, 12:47 am

And what does the Pope of Google have to say about the splitters from the Cult of Bing, or the heretics who worship the mysticism of Wolfram Alpha?


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TheKing
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13 Feb 2011, 1:03 am

there is no Pope of Google because since Google actually exists it doesnt need someone to tell everyone what it wants


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Natty_Boh
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13 Feb 2011, 6:26 am

I was going to click 'yes.'. I really was. But then you had to go and say this:

TheKing wrote:
there is no Pope of Google because since Google actually exists it doesnt need someone to tell everyone what it wants


...and I realized that since I need a computer to interact with Google and learn "what it wants", it cannot be God.


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13 Feb 2011, 7:02 am

I've seen a thread about this before.

Yes, Google is the closest thing we have to an actual god, and that site is rather funny too :P



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13 Feb 2011, 7:13 am

Google is NOT God, but it is a lot more useful.

ruveyn



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13 Feb 2011, 7:23 am

There should have been an option called 'Possibly'. :roll:



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13 Feb 2011, 9:15 am

Cannot there be an alternate spot for the absurd?



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13 Feb 2011, 11:38 am

TechnicalPacifist wrote:
There should have been an option called 'Possibly'. :roll:

There should have been an option for "I don't know, but I'm feeling lucky..."


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13 Feb 2011, 12:30 pm

By choice I always go straight to Yahoo, Number 1 Son uses Dogpile, I believe, and I deplore the use of "google" as a verb - it gives me a googleplex. Spelling as realized intended.



TheKing
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13 Feb 2011, 1:32 pm

Natty_Boh wrote:
I was going to click 'yes.'. I really was. But then you had to go and say this:

TheKing wrote:
there is no Pope of Google because since Google actually exists it doesnt need someone to tell everyone what it wants


...and I realized that since I need a computer to interact with Google and learn "what it wants", it cannot be God.


i know it cannot be God but it IS the closest thing mankind will ever get to experiencing a "God" after all it is the largest source of information of the planet currently and its omniscient being theoretically able to expand to hold an infinite amount of data

i will list the 9 proofs for those too lazy to push a button


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TheKing
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13 Feb 2011, 1:35 pm

Proof of God - Is Google God? - Church of Google

» PROOF #1

Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

» PROOF #2

Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

» PROOF #3

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

» PROOF #4

Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

» PROOF #5

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

» PROOF #6

Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

» PROOF #7

Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

» PROOF #8

According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.

God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfills this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods", as shown in the image below*.

*the graph is not present because i hate how time consuming it is to add pictures on here

» PROOF #9

Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. If seeing is believing, then surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required.


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13 Feb 2011, 1:37 pm

Quote:
i know it cannot be God but it IS the closest thing mankind will ever get to experiencing a "God" after all it is the largest source of information of the planet currently and its omniscient being theoretically able to expand to hold an infinite amount of data

i will list the 9 proofs for those too lazy to push a button


...making yourself the Pope of Google, eh? ;)

Relax, O King. The site's humorous, I enjoyed it; need everything be cage-match serious?


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13 Feb 2011, 1:46 pm

INFINITE number of data?

Come, come. The planet [I will not speak for the universe whose bounds we know not] won't hold INFINITE data.



TheKing
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13 Feb 2011, 1:53 pm

Natty_Boh wrote:
Quote:
i know it cannot be God but it IS the closest thing mankind will ever get to experiencing a "God" after all it is the largest source of information of the planet currently and its omniscient being theoretically able to expand to hold an infinite amount of data

i will list the 9 proofs for those too lazy to push a button


...making yourself the Pope of Google, eh? ;)

Relax, O King. The site's humorous, I enjoyed it; need everything be cage-match serious?


nah im the Pope of my temple the Church of Brandon and his Life

sorry my good friend sometimes on the internet its hard to tell if people are joking and because most people think im serious about my satirical beliefs(as in i actually do worship it) i am usually on the defense because most Christians apparently cant take a good joke they get offended by EVERYTHING humorous apparently


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