Where were you when... ?

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It happened again. Someone approached me to gain my support for a cause that does not affect or interest me, I told him so, and he became indignant. He tried just about ever appeal that he could think of, his voice raising in pitch and volume until it was almost comical. Finally he demanded to know why I could not have cared less.

"Where were you when I was homeless?", I asked.

Then I described how my life was when I had no home to go to, and how much effort I put into correcting the situation. I also pointed out that churches, relatives, and people that I thought were my friends had all turned me away for any form of assistance.

(I was not trying to be a leech, just trying to find a place to sleep in out of the cold while I looked for a job.)

Anyway, the whole point is that this 'Someone' I mentioned had been in a position to help me out, and had shunned or ignored me each time he saw me during my homeless period. Now he seems to want - no; to expect that I should just hand him a blank check and let him fill in his own amount for his cause. I also told him that he was both figuratively and literally trying to draw on an account that he had never contributed to.

His response began with the words, "You self-righteous, pompous ..." and included some language so foul that I haven't heard it since my military days.

So what's up with all that? Why would someone who never contributed in any way to my well-being - especially when I needed the help the most - why would they feel entitled to the monetary resources that have taken me 20+ years to build up from nothing, and all without his help?

And the cause was?

While I can put two and two together and understand why you might react that way, some part of my head is unable to fully get it just because I would not have reacted that way. I have been homeless... lived in a car for awhile... in the winter... spent many mornings waking up and wondering if the pain in my feet was from them being asleep or frost bitten... it sucks. I do not recommend it for the long run. I had people who clearly did not help me, because if they would have, I would have been on their couch or something and not in a car. But I would still give to someone if I thought their cause was worth it. It would not occur to me to say, "No. You did not help me. I will not help you.". But that is just me.

On a completely unrelated side note... nice user name, OP. I had a page somewhere a long time ago and I was fnord14. Heh. One of the people I knew from that site once sent me an email saying something like, "Hey Fnord! I saw your name on a bathroom mirror in a bar in Washington! How the hell did you get there! Hahahahaha!". I told him he was clearly wrong as no one can see the fnords. He did not get the joke. Nine times out of ten, they never get the joke...

Okay, without any more specifics, this topic is useless. We'll merely be arguing against generalities and lamblasting archetypes. Based on your account, though, I'm against the other guy (considering he knew you when you were homeless), although it really depends on how much money he had at his disposal at the time (i.e. I don't expect single parents living on $9,000 a year to contribute much money to a homeless shelter).

Nah, I am going to go with option 1. "A cause I do not agree with" is significantly longer to type than just mentioning the cause. It is as if the OP would think that his rant would get less sympathy if we knew what was he dissing out. I asked the question because that was the vibe I was getting and refusal to answer it pretty much confirms it. I was just curious why would the OP think that. I would have bought the rant regardless of the cause.

@People asking you for help for a cause you don't believe: Just shut the door and if they keep insisting (most likely they won't ) call the police. Arguments with people that you don't know when you could just stay inside your property are irrelevant and worthless.

I give you one point though. The second the guy said "you self-righteous..." he lost. it is impossible to call someone self-righteous without being self-righteous and a guy complaining about a trait that he himself had is pretty.