What was Jesus like,growing up in the first Christian family

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pandabear
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23 Aug 2011, 5:08 pm

When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, people and angels came around and worshipped him and praised, gave him some neat offerings, etc. etc.

Then, the canonical gospels leave off until he is 30, and John the Baptist recognizes him as the Messiah/Son of God, and his adult ministery begins. People in his home town of Nazareth generally don't buy his story.

But, what kind of a childhood could he have had?

If he had a Christian upbringing, and we are to take, for example, Southern Fundies as providing their children with model Christian upbringings, then his step-father must have beat him regularly with a paddle. The Catholic model of step-parenting would suggest the same.

But, if you're the step-father to this kid who is God the Son, "begotten not made, very God of very Gods, etc. etc.)", then you have to be aware that this kid has super--human powers, too. If he got upset, then he could have easily done to Nazareth (and the whole Middle East) what God the Father and/or Holy Spirit did to Sodom.

I should think that his mother, step-father, and brothers and sisters would have wanted to be really careful to keep him cheerful and in a good mood. So that they could be blessed and not smited.

I know that when he was about 12, he made some pigeons out of clay,, and they turned into real birds.

What about when he hit puberty? Given his super powers, the harlots of all of Galilee must have lusted after him.

In the Philippines, many people worship the image of Santo Nino, Jesus as a little kid

Image

Basically a little doll with european features, all dressed up like a little prince.



Philologos
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23 Aug 2011, 6:20 pm

IDYOT

And that ain't Russky.

I recognize that utter distortion of facts for effect is your af regurgitationem style - but have you NO limits?

Christian family indeed. And Gautama was educated in a Buddhist monastery and Muhammad was raised in the first Muslim family and Joseph Smith, and Columbus [or was it Leifr?] was the first child born in the United States.

Every time I blink a new low.



shrox
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23 Aug 2011, 6:28 pm

Jesus was not christian, or catholic. He was Jewish...



John_Browning
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23 Aug 2011, 7:01 pm

pandabear wrote:
When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, people and angels came around and worshipped him and praised, gave him some neat offerings, etc. etc.

Then, the canonical gospels leave off until he is 30, and John the Baptist recognizes him as the Messiah/Son of God, and his adult ministery begins. People in his home town of Nazareth generally don't buy his story.

But, what kind of a childhood could he have had?

If he had a Christian upbringing, and we are to take, for example, Southern Fundies as providing their children with model Christian upbringings, then his step-father must have beat him regularly with a paddle. The Catholic model of step-parenting would suggest the same.

But, if you're the step-father to this kid who is God the Son, "begotten not made, very God of very Gods, etc. etc.)", then you have to be aware that this kid has super--human powers, too. If he got upset, then he could have easily done to Nazareth (and the whole Middle East) what God the Father and/or Holy Spirit did to Sodom.

I should think that his mother, step-father, and brothers and sisters would have wanted to be really careful to keep him cheerful and in a good mood. So that they could be blessed and not smited.

I know that when he was about 12, he made some pigeons out of clay,, and they turned into real birds.

What about when he hit puberty? Given his super powers, the harlots of all of Galilee must have lusted after him.

In the Philippines, many people worship the image of Santo Nino, Jesus as a little kid

Basically a little doll with european features, all dressed up like a little prince.


You are not looking for a serious discussion, troll.


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Master_Pedant
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23 Aug 2011, 7:16 pm

Jesus's parents were obviously neglectful. They thought a food trough was a sufficient place to house a newborn.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oli0DTmPmGU[/youtube]

John_Browning wrote:
You are not looking for a serious discussion, troll.


Well, if it isn't the pot calling the kettle black.


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naturalplastic
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23 Aug 2011, 7:30 pm

Obviously christ could not have grown up in the "first christian family" anymore than Columbus couldve grown up in the first Amrican family, or Thomas Jefferson couldve grown up in the first democratic family. Or Einstein couldve grown up in the first nuclear family!

But if youre really curious about the backstory look up the Gospel of James, also known as the "Infancy Gospel of James".

Its one of the apacryphal books left out of the bible- so take it with a pillar of salt.

But it does expand beyond Luke and john and go into Christs childhood. In the Gospel of james the preteen Jesus was a real brat, but with super powers. A real "Dennis the Menace", until he "got it"- what his powers were meant for- as one scholar I saw on TV put it.

He accidently killed one of his playmates by throwing the other kid off the roof. But then he brought the kid back to life.

Later when he got wiser he saw his carpenter dad get upset about cutting a board too short. So the little tyke magically made the board longer. Pretty wild stuff.



blauSamstag
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23 Aug 2011, 8:42 pm

Granted, Jesus was jewish, but the torah and the bible share some books. Deutoronomy for example.

Deut. 21, 18-21:

Quote:
18] If a parent has a wayward and defiant [also translated as 'stubborn and rebellious'] son, who does not heed his father or mother and does not obey them even after they discipline him, 19] his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his town at the public place of the community. 20] They shall say to the elders of his town, 'This son of ours is disloyal and defiant; he does not heed us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.' 21] Thereupon the residents of his town shall stone him to death. Thus you will sweep out evil from your midst: all Israel will hear and be afraid.


Good thing the savior didn't mouth off, right?



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23 Aug 2011, 9:00 pm

Philologos wrote:
Every time I blink a new low.

John_Browning wrote:
You are not looking for a serious discussion, troll.

C'mon guys this is funny.


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shrox
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23 Aug 2011, 9:18 pm

blauSamstag wrote:
Granted, Jesus was jewish, but the torah and the bible share some books. Deutoronomy for example.

Deut. 21, 18-21:

Quote:
18] If a parent has a wayward and defiant [also translated as 'stubborn and rebellious'] son, who does not heed his father or mother and does not obey them even after they discipline him, 19] his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his town at the public place of the community. 20] They shall say to the elders of his town, 'This son of ours is disloyal and defiant; he does not heed us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.' 21] Thereupon the residents of his town shall stone him to death. Thus you will sweep out evil from your midst: all Israel will hear and be afraid.


Good thing the savior didn't mouth off, right?


It's the story of the industrious ant and the lazy grasshopper.



Cash__
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23 Aug 2011, 9:51 pm

Jesus grew up in a jewish household, not christian.



ruveyn
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24 Aug 2011, 10:07 am

shrox wrote:
Jesus was not christian, or catholic. He was Jewish...


And he ate glott kosher. He observed the Shabbat strictly and he never bought anything at retail.

ruveyn



androbot2084
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24 Aug 2011, 11:37 am

Not really, on occasion Jesus would violate the Sabath and would forget to wash his hands before he ate.



visagrunt
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24 Aug 2011, 12:05 pm

He stayed at home until he was thirty, he went into his father's business, he thought his mother was a virgin and his mother thought he was G-d.


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Philologos
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24 Aug 2011, 4:33 pm

DarthMetaKnight wrote:
Philologos wrote:
Every time I blink a new low.

John_Browning wrote:
You are not looking for a serious discussion, troll.

C'mon guys this is funny.


Motl CAN be funny - but he has a tendency to get too defactualized.

There is funny - there is dumb.

I think I have indicated how I see this one.



Master_Pedant
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24 Aug 2011, 5:00 pm

Philologos wrote:
DarthMetaKnight wrote:
Philologos wrote:
Every time I blink a new low.

John_Browning wrote:
You are not looking for a serious discussion, troll.

C'mon guys this is funny.


Motl CAN be funny - but he has a tendency to get too defactualized.

There is funny - there is dumb.

I think I have indicated how I see this one.


And let me express the firm opinion that your opinion is based on a comically prudish and joyless sentimental framework.

Regardless, there is some merit in wondering whether pro-child abuse .... uh, I mean "strict discipline" family values Christian Conservatives view Jesus on their own terms. He did, after all, seek to turn children against their own parents.


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