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meems
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13 Dec 2011, 7:29 am

I'm absolutely an atheist, but for social reasons, my fiance has asked me to attend Catholic mass with him on Sundays.

Technically he's an atheist too but I understand going to church for a stronger social network. We're in a smaller town, the town I grew up in, and it's true to say the Catholics own most of the businesses etc. There isn't any pressure to say we believe in anything, I know it would usually be assumed just by our presence but everyone in the church who knows me knows that I'm an atheist and they're happy that I'm attending. Maybe they're hopeful that I'll convert, but regardless of what they think, I know we're welcome no matter what we believe in or don't believe in.

Does anyone else attend church for the social aspect? Most people I'm friends with who go to church aren't "strong believers" but church is a way to branch out and they feel like they should be going so they do.



munch15a
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13 Dec 2011, 8:13 am

Not at this point in my life but I have been In the past also at a catholic mass.



Lecks
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13 Dec 2011, 8:51 am

No one I know attends church, they're not tied to local communities like they were in my grandparents' time.


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pandabear
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13 Dec 2011, 9:12 am

Probably a lot of people who go to church go for the business connections. Realtors, carpenters, car salesmen, just about anyone who needs customers.



GoonSquad
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13 Dec 2011, 9:22 am

You guys are gonna roast.

That's actually pretty dishonest. Are you sure you aren't NT? :P


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techstepgenr8tion
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13 Dec 2011, 9:24 am

Lol, that reminds me. My dad decided to tell me last night that the Catholic church he and my mom attend are giving plenary indulgences. I was confused on why he mentioned that but then I remembered, for as many times as I've mentioned my theism stance I think he still believes that I believe in God, that I'm a good Catholic, and that when I say I don't believe its a pseudo reality - ie. some kind of belief inside a belief. Needless to say I'll pass on that one.

I think at this point though, as far as church is concerned, ethically speaking I could go for weddings, I could go for situations where I know its going to mean a lot more for the people who want me to go than it will for me, but where I start drawing the line are on more ethical levels; ie. trying to fake my way through a confession, getting into a corner where I feel like I'm having to do more than tread water on my image, or worse - being single and having Catholic girls get excited thinking I'm religious. Stuff like that just ethically crosses a line in the sand that I don't want to touch.


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munch15a
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13 Dec 2011, 9:38 am

Oh don't get me wrong I go to church now not to socailize at all I go because I believe but it started in part to socailize



snapcap
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13 Dec 2011, 10:03 am

Even if they are Atheist, I bet a lot of Aspies could benefit by going to church. Problem is finding the right one after years of not attending.



VIDEODROME
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13 Dec 2011, 11:52 am

I'm generally Agnostic I guess. I have gone a few times recently with my mom just to be nice but I'm not into and some parts of the mass bother me.

This is awkward because I'm about to go back to school while staying at my parents' place and I know this is going to be brought up every Sunday.



meems
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13 Dec 2011, 3:06 pm

GoonSquad, I don't see how it's dishonest. Really, the only time I've felt like I'm being dishonest is when I bit my tongue during a conversation about who is responsible for the death of Christ. I grew up in a Jewish household and that's where my loyalties lie, so hearing that we're "Christ Killers" really struck a nerve and I feel like it was dishonest to politely excuse myself from the conversation.

Techstep, I'm not baptized in the church but this church isn't really strict and it was suggested to me that I do confession, and after much debate I decided to try it. I started off by saying the wrong thing, but I told him I'm not catholic or Christian or a theist. I said I didn't know what to confess and we ended up talking forever. It was really cathartic, I love it.

I think the fact that they know I'm an atheist and they don't have any problem with it is showing me a side of Catholicism that I never imagined was there. I understand why my atheist fiance remains a practicing Catholic, belief isn't the basis of his religious involvement. He has a lot of asperger friends who use church as a social tool regardless of not believing in anything. It's really interesting to me to consider where I would draw an ethical line, the only thing I've decided so far is that I won't pretend to believe, I won't lie to anyone. I'll attend services but if anyone asks me point blank whether or not I even believe just a little, I'm not going to sugar coat it or pretend I do or am open to it.



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13 Dec 2011, 3:16 pm

*shrug* I'm an atheist ex-mormon and i still go to church if a relative is getting blessed or baptized.

It's a measure of respect.



techstepgenr8tion
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13 Dec 2011, 3:19 pm

meems wrote:
I think the fact that they know I'm an atheist and they don't have any problem with it is showing me a side of Catholicism that I never imagined was there. I understand why my atheist fiance remains a practicing Catholic, belief isn't the basis of his religious involvement. He has a lot of asperger friends who use church as a social tool regardless of not believing in anything. It's really interesting to me to consider where I would draw an ethical line, the only thing I've decided so far is that I won't pretend to believe, I won't lie to anyone. I'll attend services but if anyone asks me point blank whether or not I even believe just a little, I'm not going to sugar coat it or pretend I do or am open to it.


Then again I think this just highlights what atheist groups need to incorporate more - ie. have organisations who push for the same wholesomeness, may push family values based on what their constituency is, people who act like white knights in a way around town in giving their time, groups of people who are highly successful and passionate about life, who are perhaps passionate about humanity and what can be done perhaps instead of religion. I've always kind of felt like the perceived need to not have atheism go that route was a bit artificial and, sadly, if atheists can't boast a rich culture all their own they will continue to lose the value-added approach to converts. Having atheist groups with the highest codes of honor, integrity, people who'll work side by side with the relgious and be sure to even walk a higher road than the religous - particular if one of them is being a bit verbally confrontational about their salvation (which is rare but - its gotta be displayed in the sense that big people, adults, won't jump on red meat, and its more proof that integrity for its own sake or humanity's sake is possible).

Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing your action; just that I've brought this one up before and either gotten crickets or looks like I'm crazy. Your OP offers a lot of evidence that could be in a way looked at as something that atheist organizations should look into trying to replicate to a degree.


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meems
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13 Dec 2011, 7:08 pm

There is no atheist culture. We're not a portion of the population with defined common goals etc. I don't like to promote wholesomeness because what is wholesome to me is uniquely defined by me, religious groups have dogma and so it makes sense that they are organized and promote their way of life. My being an atheist isn't based in belief, it's a description of a lack of beliefs. I'm not out to tell anyone how to live their lives and I don't have beliefs set in stone about what people should or should not do, should or should not believe, I don't feel entitled to control or attempt to influence any segment of society.

This is the key difference, I don't feel entitled to tell someone else that my beliefs are the right ones for society or that their beliefs are wrong. I have respect for each individuals ability to draw their own conclusions about life and I'm not going to offer my perspective on personal beliefs and decisions unless it's sought out.



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13 Dec 2011, 7:16 pm

You're not gonna take communion are you?


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VIDEODROME
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13 Dec 2011, 7:18 pm

Actually my mom's church just updated with new group responses to the priest based on new latin translations.

I'm gonna keep thinking it would be funny to print off new modified copies of the responses changed to pig latin and leave them in all the pews.

So when he says it's in the new latin it really will be.



munch15a
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13 Dec 2011, 7:54 pm

meems wrote:
GoonSquad, I I grew up in a Jewish household and that's where my loyalties lie, so hearing that we're "Christ Killers" really struck a nerve and I feel like it was dishonest to politely excuse myself from the conversation.


Yeah if they are Catholic point out to them the pope said that they wernt or at least we are not allowed to say they were.