What To Believe

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I happen to be catholic and yet I feel I can not handle religion cause even though mom had told me to believe in what she tells me about god and all, I still feel that I am not used to it and all. I know that religion is about what you feel in your heart on what to believe even though there is only one god. But despite this I do not think that I am comfortable with all of this cause I remember those times when I have went to church with my family. I went all panic cause the church was too much for me to handle and yet it was hard to get others to understand this. What really caused this was the church being too loud, too many crowds and mass being too long. Like I said, I am not used to any of it. I was not raised catholic. It was hard for me to even think about religion. I still feel I can not get over the fact that the way things were witnessed around me was so harsh and all. It's like I do not know what to believe cause of this. This is why I was always confused about religion.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YbUEZfJJaQ&feature=related[/youtube]

Interesting documentary.

There is one little problem with it.

In all of the discussion about resusitation/resurrection it leaves out one detail from the Gospels- that being the in addition to hanging on cross Jesus was supposidly also stabbed in the torso by the lance of Roman soldier. So presumably he would have died faster due to blood loss.

I think one thing I don't care for in church is it is a yearly cycle of repetition. Singing hymns and speaking verses and performing the same rituals. In some strange way I think all this behavior is a hold over from oral tradition. That communion was a performance to tell a story orally and is now seen by some as a literal ritual.

For now I don't hold very specific beliefs but I do tend to be intrigued by Eastern systems like Buddhism or Taoism. They seem to me more of a thoughtful guide to better living rather then rigid commandments or threats of being damned.

I also think a meditation practice can be beneficial.

To believe, is to not know. Trust only direct experience. Why would God exist? Because your parent/teacher/pastor/misc authority figure says so? How do they know? And if God exist? What is God? How do you define God? The monotheistic religions are about dogma and control. They have served the authorities through history and continue to do so. Whatever was their origin. If you feel you must be a christian - go find out was christianity was before Emperor Constantine transformed it to one of the institutions that upheld his and future imperial authority.

Think for yourself. Trust only direct experience.

If god exists, why does he play hide and seek? Why can't he just reveal himself and remove all doubts?

I think that Autists, who often have a difficulty with empathy and "relatedness," need a spiritual life even more than most people. Coming to terms with that idea is what led me to reject the strict anti-cure position on Autism.

there is a god and his name is Chuck Norris!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znnYhcnjGAY[/youtube]Just maybe just maybe.....