Pat Condell: "Pigs Will Fly"

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Well, sometimes you just have to laugh, even when you don't want to.

As you may be aware, our "friends and allies", the Saudis play host to a cartel of Islamic dictatorships called the OIC (that's the Organisation of Islamic Criminals to you and me) who, for years, have been doing their best to stamp out through the standing joke and racist Third World pressure group we know as the United Nations.

They said they had given up their campaign the last time it was voted down by the civilised world, but it turns out they were lying - as usual - and they're now planning to push yet again for a global blasphemy law that would criminalise the kind of innocuous criticism of Islam that routinely leaves thousands of men in Muslim countries with no option but to start rioting, killing people, and raping women. And, of course, this inevitably makes them look like the bad guys. You'd need a heart of stone not to sympathise, wouldn't you?

And sympathise we do, of course. Certainly the very last thing we want to do here in the multiculti PC liberal West is to offend the delicate sensibilities of regimes that murder and mutilate their own people and call it justice. It goes without saying that we're utterly consumed with crippling guilt at the mere possibility of causing offence to a brutal ideology that despises everything we stand for, but, well, it's just that after two decades of relentless Islamic cultural terrorism with all the whining and complaining and calling us racists if we protest, it's finally dawning on many of us that free speech is now the only thing keeping the clawlike hand of Islam from closing around our throats, and that regrettably offensive though it may be to some, we would quite like to maintain the absolutely essential free exchange of ideas and opinions that have made western civilisation the most successful on the planet, and that have made it so immeasurably superior in every way to Islamic so-called "civilisation" that they might as well be on different planets, and many of us sincerely wish they were - with all due respect.

We also wish - oh, how we wish! - that our "friends and allies" would grow up and accept that their deeply unpleasant religion is only sacred to them, and that's how things are going to stay. To the rest of us, free speech is far more sacred because when it is attacked there's a lot more at stake than just feelings. Now, I'm not big on feelings at the best of times, but I find it especially hard to care about the feelings of people who are more offended by words and images than they are by violent persecution of actual human beings in the name of their religion. When you think about the things they could be offended by, if they had an ounce of human decency, like the frequent murder, rape and mutilation of women and girls in the Muslim world, but that doesn't seem to bother them at all, yet they want us to watch what we say in case we hurt their feelings. If I didn't know better I'd swear they had a sense of humour.

What isn't so funny, of course, is that here in Europe they've already succeeded in getting several people prosecuted as criminals merely for telling the truth about their religion, because they find the truth about their religion offensive. Well, at least we have something in common.

The truth about their religion is that our "friends and allies" believe that if they can exploit our self-blaming liberal culture and neutralise freedom of speech, if they can poison open discourse at source and thereby adulterate all other freedoms, they can cripple our society at a fundamental level. And they're absolutely right.

But it can only happen if we let it happen. And, if we're spineless enough to condemn our children and grandchildren to a world that's less free than the one we were born into, simply to avoid offending a bunch of, with respect, devious religious fascists, then history will rightly condemn us as the generation of cowards and Judases that sold out civilisation.

Fortunately, the last twenty years of Islamic bullying have woken up enough of us to ensure that this will not be allowed to happen. You see, there was a time when we took free speech pretty much for granted in the West, but not any more. We've seen how easily it can be eaten away and we've come to understand just how fragile it is and how much depends on it. And this is entirely thanks to the current generation of permanently offended Islamic cultural terrorists. It's thanks to their relentless campaign of trying to stamp out freedom of speech that free speech, ironically, will now never be allowed to die, not in a blizzard of crooked UN resolutions and not in a million manufactured riots.

There's more chance that pigs will literally fly, if you'll pardon the expression.

Although nowhere near Saudi Arabian airspace, I would hope, as that would be unnecessarily disrespectful to our "friends and allies", especially if they happened to be gay pigs. What an unwelcome scenario that would be in the world's most devoutly homophobic, I mean Islamic, kingdom. But then I suppose it would depend on how many pigs we're talking about. If it's just a handful, we could probably avoid a diplomatic incident, but if we're talking about millions, or even (God forbid) billions of gay pigs cruising low in close formation over Saudi Arabia like a vast noxious flotilla of incontinent zeppelins that blots out the sun, well, I don't think that's something anybody wants to see, so I would suggest that the moment these pigs become airborne (should they ever materialise) that somebody should be there to intercept them, to steer them away from our "friends and allies" and avoid any unnecessary unpleasantness. Indeed, if the United Nations is looking to engage itself in something comparatively constructive and useful, just for a change, that would be my suggestion.

Furthermore I think Pat should kick evey last one of these Idiots out of the UK.

You cannot be friends with anybody who is religous.

A global blasphemy law....this was actually proposed to the UN?

This sounds like bigotry to me.