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MR_BOGAN
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14 Apr 2013, 12:05 am

Just wondering if the key to happiness is to not want to be happy.

My logic goes that happiness is the ultimate want and if you don't have happiness you want it. Thus if you don't want to be happy you may become happy because the the ultimate want is gone.

This thead got me thinking about it.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt228514.html

Interested in other peoples thoughts. :chin:


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0_equals_true
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14 Apr 2013, 5:07 pm

Well yes, if you spending too much time worrying about you happiness, they you are neurotic, which isn't conducive with happiness.

Happiness is feeling not a thought. Whilst thoughts can sometimes induce happiness, if you are thinking about happiness, such an expectation isn't going to bring you happiness, it is preempting.

So yes you are absolutely right, and I can personally attest this is my experience.



VIDEODROME
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14 Apr 2013, 5:48 pm

Happiness is more of an internal state of mind than something that comes from materialism. Not to say materialism isn't useful within reason.

The pitfall that can come with trying to achieve happiness is actually becoming burdened by Desire. Desire is a tricky thing that can contribute to stress and mental suffering.



0_equals_true
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14 Apr 2013, 6:07 pm

I think also people tend to want what they don't have, but even when they get it doesn't cut the mustard.

There are a lot of studies to show that being rich increases happiness, but I think it more case of not having the stress of the financial pressures. Obviously that is a relief to anyone.

Definitely it is something the is within, your own mind.



AceOfSpades
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14 Apr 2013, 8:43 pm

MR_BOGAN wrote:
Just wondering if the key to happiness is to not want to be happy.

My logic goes that happiness is the ultimate want and if you don't have happiness you want it. Thus if you don't want to be happy you may become happy because the the ultimate want is gone.

This thead got me thinking about it.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt228514.html

Interested in other peoples thoughts. :chin:
You have the right idea but I don't think wanting happiness itself is the cause of dissatisfaction, but chasing after some notion of it in some vain hope that it'll have you set for smooth sailing through the rest of your life.



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15 Apr 2013, 8:21 am

I sometimes think that chasing happiness makes you unhappy - this happens a lot in the materialistic word.
Ascetics love spirituality, for example. I guess that's the true key for happiness. Imagine that you kill a person - I guess nobody feels great about it, regardless the reason. This unconscious thought of "killing the person" gets stuck on your head and you reflect on it "Did I do the right thing?"; "Did I get any benefits because of what I did(happiness)?" If you answer affirmatively, then you happiness is materialistic; If you answer these with a NO then you're a bit more emotional.

Conclusion:
A. Materialism requires an action to make you happy, which will lead you happiness.

Quote:
The ends justify the means.

B. If you're aside of what happened(in your life) then this happiness doesn't require an action to make you happy. In other words, happiness doesn't come from materialism, the shallow world.
Guatama Buddha wrote:
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.



MR_BOGAN
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16 Apr 2013, 11:11 pm

AceOfSpades wrote:
You have the right idea but I don't think wanting happiness itself is the cause of dissatisfaction, but chasing after some notion of it in some vain hope that it'll have you set for smooth sailing through the rest of your life.


Like failure to achieve your wants and desires... Like wanting, desiring something is not something that makes you unhappy, not being able to get it does make you unhappy.

Maybe a key to happiness is success of wants(which is kind of obvious)...

or maybe it's not wanting or desiring anything. (contentment.., put that could become a pointless existence )

not sure where I'm going with this..lol


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ModusPonens
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17 Apr 2013, 4:14 am

You're heading on the direction of a buddhist answer.

There is suffering. The cause of suffering is unwholesome desire. There is the permanent absence of suffering (nirvana). There is a path that leads to the end of suffering and to true and deep happiness.



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17 Apr 2013, 4:45 am

MR_BOGAN wrote:
or maybe it's not wanting or desiring anything. (contentment.., put that could become a pointless existence )


I would agree with this one. Sadly nowadays we need therapy, so we come to a rest, to be able to think about ourself and realize that happyness simply can be acchieved in the moment I want to acchieve it. Instead of simply being happy, when we have the oppurtunity to do so, we often run around to acchieve something, because idiotic world tells us that then we would be happy, not realizing how unhappy running around and achieving made us.

So I dont think that richness makes you happier, but lacking of life important ressources makes you naturally unhappier. (With life important I mean a place to feel safe/home, food, medical support when you are ill.)

In europe there was a article about someone who had asked nurses and carers (male nurse) that cared for dying people in their last hours before dying, about what they were talking about. Many regretted to not have spent more time with their friends, many regretted to not have spent more time with their family, with their children when they were young and growing up, with their hobbies, simply with the things that really, really makes you happy. But none of them regretted that he hadnt worked 10 hours more the week so he could have afforded a more powerful sports car.

When we die, most of the staff we worked for to buy it, to allow us to be happy, will be long gone into the garbage and we will realize how useless the time was we wasted to earn money to acchieve this garbage. The only precious things remaining in this last moments will be the memories of the time we were simply happy, while we will realize that every second we made ourself unhappy to acchieve an illusion of happiness, was a useless wasted second of our life.



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22 Apr 2013, 6:49 pm

0_equals_true wrote:

There are a lot of studies to show that being rich increases happiness,
.


Technically not exactly true. Happiness only increases with wealth up to a certain threshold - about $70,000 a year income (in Australia) and above that point more wealth does not lead to greater happiness.

According to psyc research, having and working towards long term goals actually does increase happiness. Purposelessness is not conducive to happiness. Furthermore, as others have said, happiness is a mental state and not something that can be achieved through the acquisition of material things, or great wealth (see above). Certain personality factors are associated with greater happiness.

In terms of happiness being the ultimate goal of life and whether that is self-defeating, I couldn't say for sure from my personal experience as I have never considered happiness to be one of my life goals. For me happiness is a mindset that one works on maintaining every day, and happiness is a bonus of goal attainment, but never an end point in itself. My ultimate life goals are related to contribution and creation - what I am able to contribute to society before I die, and what I am able to create to enhance the external world. Pursuing these goals gives me purpose and a sense of fulfillment, which I guess is akin to happiness.


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boywonder
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22 Apr 2013, 10:48 pm

youtube 'how to be happy' and choose the first video



MR_BOGAN
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24 Apr 2013, 5:05 am

sunshower wrote:
According to psyc research, having and working towards long term goals actually does increase happiness. Purposelessness is not conducive to happiness.


Interesting because those things can create desire, which I and the other posters and buddha say can leads to unhappiness. Which kind of contradicts itself. :chin:

I think it's more fulfilling our human behaviour, not just behaviour in ourselves but as a group. Because humans are social animals. we are not one single person but a group. So it's group human behaviour. Purposelessness does not help the group, having purpose does help the group. (But yeah also works on an individual level)

Which does seem to fit for you. You want to help the group.

sunshower wrote:
My ultimate life goals are related to contribution and creation - what I am able to contribute to society before I die, and what I am able to create to enhance the external world. Pursuing these goals gives me purpose and a sense of fulfillment, which I guess is akin to happiness.


On the other side when we are a rejected by the group and or feel we have no purpose for the group, we can go to the extreme case were we self destruct(suicide) for the benefit of the group, to make the group stronger. Which really is no good for our happiness!! !! ! lol

I think I'm kind getting somewhere with this and nowhere at the same time. :P

sunshower wrote:
I have never considered happiness to be one of my life goals. For me happiness is a mindset that one works on maintaining every day, and happiness is a bonus of goal attainment, but never an end point in itself.


Sounds like a goal. :wink:


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boywonder
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24 Apr 2013, 6:44 am

Healthy people are happy people, fit people are happy people
Sick people are unhappy people

A really good poop makes me quite happy



MR_BOGAN
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24 Apr 2013, 7:23 am

boywonder wrote:
Healthy people are happy people, fit people are happy people
Sick people are unhappy people


yeah that to.


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uwmonkdm
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24 Apr 2013, 11:19 pm

replacing the word "want" with "desire" turns this into a buddhist question.

From what I gather, you desire to rid yourself of your desire to be happy.. but you're only replacing it with another desire. The point is to obliterate them all.
This is not 'contentment', nor is it a pointless existence. Nothing changes but your 'attitude' (to use a simple word).. or your subjective perspective and interpretation of the world.