I'd love to be god.
I saw that movie Bruce Almighty, and thought that would be amazing. But he was a lightweight, I'd have some REAL fun.
I'd carve my name (i.e., "God") into the moon with lightning, while everyone's watching, for starters. I'd bump off all the evil so-called "men of god", one a day - in completely improbable, public, and obviously supernatural ways. I'd make the population of China suddenly be unable to speak Chinese, but make them all fluent in some useless language like Old Cornish. I'd force people to put up with an entire day where 2 plus 2 equalled five. I'd blanket the entire world with 60-degree heat and choking smog, just to teach everyone a lesson about pollution.
I'd make this week's winning Lotto 6-49's numbers 50-50-50-50-50-50. Yes, there would be a 50 ball, and it would come up 6 times in a row, and why? because I'm GOD.
Now THAT would make for a good Bible! Douglas Adams could write it, and be my prophet. Even though he's dead. In fact, that would make him a more convincing prophet.