Interfaith Marraige

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I just don't get this how can two people of different religions fall in love and get married
and how would there kids be raised
it's so confusing to me

the one interfaith married couple I knew, decided to let their kids decide when they became adults, what they wanted to do in terms of religious affiliation.

Interfaith marriages are quite common.
My parents were Nazarene and Methodist but we went to the Methodist Church.
My dad's parents were Nazarene and Catholic but went to the Nazarene Church. His oldest brother and youngest sister both married Jews.
It has all worked out fine as far as I can tell and none of the divorces were attributable to religion.

I just don't get how two people can use religion as an excuse to not express their love for each other.


To study hard and learn enough about philosophy, politics, religion, and science to make their own decisions as to what they will believe.


"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." -- John 13:34 (NIV)

Those who place philosophy, politics, religion, science, or wealth ahead of love will often be confused by the concept of love.

They with often go without loving or being loved, as well.

I would think that if any of the two brings up religion as a problem between them then that person is putting beliefs above love and as such they should not bother getting married to begin with.

A few days ago I remember reading in some 'help me' column about a woman asking for advice on how to get her fiancee to accept her strict orthodox rules (she wanted to become more religious..practicing her faith not just believing it). In short, she wanted him to support her, allow her to follow strict dietary rules, strict scheduling on activities (no sex on sunday, no touchy when menstruating, etc).

The response she got from the columnist was brilliant: 'Choose who you wish to dedicate your life to. Your fiancee or your religious practices. You can't have both.'

What's confusing about it? Any two people can fall in love if there's chemistry between them. Yes, the specifics of their religion might not be something that they would have in common but not everyone who falls in love has everything in common with their partner. Of course, if you are going to screen potential partners on the basis of their religion before you've even gotten a chance to know them, then you might prevent yourself from meeting or getting to know someone who would otherwise be right for you, but that doesn't preclude that you might fall in love with them if you did in fact meet them and get to know them.

As to how their kids would be raised, most would teach their children about both parent's religions. My uncle (and my side of the family) is Jewish, his wife is Christian. Their kids go to church but also attend our family get-togethers for Jewish holidays and they participate fully in them.

My dad is Lutheran, my mom Mormon. In the 70s, when they married, my mom was more devout than she is now. When they had a baby (me), since I was a boy, they decided to raise me as a Mormon. I rejected Mormonism at age 13 and became an atheist. Today if I had to choose what religion my beliefs most resemble, I'd have to say Buddhism. My parents are still together, btw. When my parents married his folks were dead set against it because my mom was Mormon. My mom is a convert and her parents were not Mormon, so there was no trouble with her family.

"They had trouble from the start."

"How so?"

"It was a mixed marriage."

"You mean ... ?"

"Yup! He was a dunker and she was a dabber."

That seems dumb, tbh.

Really, a lot of this thread seems dumb. What's wrong with people prioritizing their religion over their love life?

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -- Matthew 6:21 (NIV)


Because religion is not about loving others; it is about having a reason to treat others badly.

Maybe to you.

Crusades, witch hunts, getting stoned to death for adultery, flying airliners into buildings ...

Change the word "reason" above to "excuse" and I will agree with you on all counts. But you forgot to also mention the various Inquisitions: Spanish, Roman, Portugese, Medieval, etc. Plus current cruel practices such as shunning and female circumcision.

Last edited by PrncssAlay on 23 Jun 2013, 10:34 am, edited 2 times in total.

err..the fact that they prioritize religion over the person they love? Do you not find that rather disturbing?

Done. I fully agree.


Actually, I doubt that the WP server has that capacity to record all of the atrocities committed in the name of religion.


(Steven Weinberg is an American physicist. He was awarded the 1979 Nobel Prize in Physics - along with colleagues Abdus Salam and Sheldon Glashow - for combining electromagnetism and the weak force into the electroweak force.)

Fnord, how about all those people in useful professions like plumbers, farmers and garbage men without whom we wouldn't survive at all? Wonder what they think of religion (and irreligion), so how about you get those wonderful quotes up for us to see? Their opinions about an entirely unrelated aspect of existence must be heard.

I don't think anybody who's been in love will find it too disturbing. Your simplification of the concept does disturb me a lot, though.