Feminist priorities

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Make it a BLT and the bacon better be crisp,or POW,right in the kisser.

Reading through the replies, the discussion seems to have slightly trailed off to the elevator incident. I'm wondering if the people replying understand that:

-Asking for coffee, especially going back to one's place (hotel room, apartment, house) is a widely known euphemism for sex

-Assuming the man was polite or not when you are not there doesn't make any sense

-Assuming feminists equated what he did as rape is false

I'm wondering if aspie men are taking offense to the whole situation because they have been in similar situations. I understand the pain of rejection, believe me. I also understand what it's like to just not "get" social standards. Educating people not to do what was done in this scenario seems smart. I even asked my husband if he would feel uncomfortable in a similar situation, and he said yes. I assume this is because he's a 5'5 Asian male who is physically tiny. I think there is a disconnect because some people aren't able to recognize potentially threatening behavior. I have actually BEEN trapped and sexually harassed by both females and males, so maybe this adds to my perspective. In situations where you can't readily leave, and no one is around, it makes sense to be uncomfortable if someone says a euphemism for sex. I don't care if the person "looks" nice. In REALITY, we don't know strangers. We have to gauge people on the information at hand, and not just assume everyone we come into contact with have our best interests at heart. Not doing so either means you are naive, or are confident you can fight off an attacker. This man may very well have been a great man who doesn't understand how the situation could be interpreted as a potentially bad situation. There also seem to be well meaning people replying with the same mindset. My reply to that is: Human behavior isn't necessarily logical, and neither are emotions. They also don't HAVE to be based upon logic. Knowing that, it's important for physically vulnerable people to be a bit more aware of their surroundings, and for well meaning people to understand ways their behavior can be interpreted depending on different factors.


PS-To the OP, my priorities are sexual violence and gender norms. As in, I want to reduce both as much as possible.

I did not know that, and I do wish that people would just say what they want rather than using euphemisms.

Coffee at 4 am is rather silly, unless you're intending to stay up the whole night. Some warm milk would be more appropriate at that hour.

I know exactly what you mean. I didn't know this either until 3 years ago. I actually used to ask men for coffee or lunch together because I wanted to make friends. They always ended up refusing and saying they were taken. -_- But, usually NTs will know this. It's probably likely the man that said this didn't know. It's easy to watch movies where the guy gets the girl and uses a "cheesy" or widely used pickup line and use it in real life thinking it works. I think it would be interesting to know how the euphemism started, lol!

Actually, even if someone asked if you wanted to "sleep" with them, I used to be prone to thinking actual sleep. If a man played out this scenario years ago, I would have accepted thinking he wanted coffee and then to lay and bed with me and go to sleep. T_T This whole situation is just more proof social expectations and lingo are quite hard to master.

I figured that one out by its use on TV shows.

It is now a priority that if women wear skirts,men must wear kilts.
It's only fair.

Oh, we do. You just weren't supposed to know about it.

You wear a kilt with that sweater vest?I don't think you can pull that off.Maybe if it was a cable knit.

The shirt does not match.Too many patterns,the shirt news to be a solid and it would look better if that sweater vest was a solid also.Match the colors.

But, we're nerds. That's just how we roll.

But if you get to criticize my bad grammar than it's only fair that I can critique your choice of an outfit.
Once I learned not to mix patterns I didn't get harassed on the playground as much.

I still mix patterns...

Well, we had better try to fix ourselves before we go out to the playground.

Nah. I think it suits me.