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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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11 Mar 2014, 12:29 pm

I was just thinking of something...
Let's say a man and a woman are together and in their relationship, they make love every night. They enjoy this connection with each other and the man, especially, enjoys the intimacy he has in this relationship. He has become psychologically addicted and dependent on it and it helps his well being. One day, the man does something the woman gets furious about and she says, "that's it, I am never having sex with you again as long as I live!" And this coldness creeps in between them. No more of the touchy-feely love stuff. The woman knows the worst thing she can say to the man is she won't touch him ever again and she says this in anger because she wants to get even with him for something, have power over him.

Now this is the part that could sound bad even though I am not trying to make it sound that way and I am not trivializing or anything like this.

Couldn't this be considered just as psychological damaging to the man as it would be if the man raped the woman because he was angry at her? Of course it's not as physically damaging, I know that, and I am not trying to sound trite about such a serious crime. I am just wondering though, psychologically...how much would the man in the relationship be harmed and what does it say about a woman who uses sex as a weapon this way?



TallyMan
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11 Mar 2014, 12:35 pm

The only conclusion I'd draw is that the relationship would appear to be broken and it may either lead to a separation / divorce or one of the partners being more susceptible to finding themselves in an extramarital affair. Certainly if the "withholding" was done for any length of time because it would be a passive aggressive thing to do.


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11 Mar 2014, 1:12 pm

He must not have been that good in the sack,or she never really liked sex, if she can back up that threat with actually never having sex with him ever again.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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11 Mar 2014, 1:20 pm

Misslizard wrote:
He must not have been that good in the sack,or she never really liked sex, if she can back up that threat with actually never having sex with him ever again.

It's more a matter of her being really pissed off at him and this is the only thing she can think of that will really get at him so she uses it to strike back.



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11 Mar 2014, 1:30 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
He must not have been that good in the sack,or she never really liked sex, if she can back up that threat with actually never having sex with him ever again.

It's more a matter of her being really pissed off at him and this is the only thing she can think of that will really get at him so she uses it to strike back.


It is the sort of thing that strikes back at the relationship more than at him; so it is a case of cutting off the nose to spite the face.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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11 Mar 2014, 1:47 pm

It might cause him to experience anger and inflict psychological distress on him if he has a bond with her and it is nurtured with frequent sexual intercourse because this only causes two people to become more bonded. So the bond is broken, psychological trauma is possible.

The relationship would suffer because he would probably leave but even if he found another he would still miss her.



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11 Mar 2014, 2:04 pm

He might make do with the internet and his dominant hand.



sonofghandi
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11 Mar 2014, 2:29 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
Couldn't this be considered just as psychological damaging to the man as it would be if the man raped the woman because he was angry at her?


No. There is a big difference between cutting off emotional or physical intimacy and a complete violation mentally and physically.

Yes, it could be very damaging on a psychological level, but rape is in a different category altogether.

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
and what does it say about a woman who uses sex as a weapon this way?


It does not say much about her at all. Sex as a weapon is never a good thing.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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11 Mar 2014, 3:32 pm

sonofghandi wrote:
No. There is a big difference between cutting off emotional or physical intimacy and a complete violation mentally and physically.

Yes, it could be very damaging on a psychological level, but rape is in a different category altogether.

I can see why you would type this and I agree with you about the devastation rape causes but think for a moment, the results of the man being deprived of a bond with a woman he has been with a while and depends on for the most intimate form of support. It might not seem that way on the surface but a profound bonding has occurred, at least in his mind, and it suddenly isn't there. I have read stories of married couples who spent most their lives together. One dies of old age, the other follows soon after. The stress of being apart is too great. Perhaps it is much more difficult than we realize or wish to admit?



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11 Mar 2014, 4:59 pm

Anyone who did this sort of passive aggressive crap is a jerk,and they would be no fun to be married to.Ditch them immediately, unless you are a gold digger and more into assets than ass.


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11 Mar 2014, 5:27 pm

Misslizard wrote:
Anyone who did this sort of passive aggressive crap is a jerk,and they would be no fun to be married to.Ditch them immediately, unless you are a gold digger and more into assets than ass.

Agreed.

These are two different things that are both bad. If the woman is that angry why is she staying with the guy at all?


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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11 Mar 2014, 5:31 pm

You can call any kind of "get even" an act of passive-aggression. But the point isn't what the woman is doing. What I am wondering is what kind of effect does it have on the psyche of her partner?



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11 Mar 2014, 6:00 pm

I just don't see how this would be comparable to rape.


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Ann2011
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11 Mar 2014, 6:10 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
You can call any kind of "get even" an act of passive-aggression. But the point isn't what the woman is doing. What I am wondering is what kind of effect does it have on the psyche of her partner?

Well, he would probably look for someone else to fulfill his sexual bonding needs.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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11 Mar 2014, 6:41 pm

Kraichgauer wrote:
I just don't see how this would be comparable to rape.

Not comparable in a physical sense. It's about the effect of using sex as a weapon on another's mental state and this is one way of using it as a weapon.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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11 Mar 2014, 6:42 pm

Ann2011 wrote:
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
You can call any kind of "get even" an act of passive-aggression. But the point isn't what the woman is doing. What I am wondering is what kind of effect does it have on the psyche of her partner?

Well, he would probably look for someone else to fulfill his sexual bonding needs.

If they weren't that bonded, he would, but if they were, I think he would be beyond devastated.