Church is the main source of my misery

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my whole family is religious. My parents even took me too Africa when I was little when they did some missionary work. However I have never really managed to believe. But two years ago, my family started going to a new charismatic, "happy-clappy" church, and got me to come along.

When I first started going, I got along fine with people there, and I some close friends. Then I went to a big youth camp for a week, I was 18 at the time. I had a great time and really felt close to my best friend. I felt like I was a real Christian.
But the problems started in the weeks following, I was never part of anything they did. And every time I tried to talk to someone they all ignored me all the time. And they never made an effort to invite me to any of thier gatherings or parties etc. Any way one evening I was at church, and we were all talking together, and every time I tried to join in the conversation, everyone just ignored me and talked over me. And I wasnt the only one getting treated like this - everyone who wasnt in the top "popular" group also was treated like that, and they all stopped going.

So I decided to stop going. But a few months later on Christmas Day, my family guilt-tripped me into coming with them to give church another chance. Anyway after the meeting the same old gang were standing around, talking as they usually did about private jokes and stories that noone else was included in. Anyway one of them had got a playstation for Christmas so I just remarked that my brother had had some games for his that day. He just looked at me shrugged and said "so". Anyway that was the day I "lost my faith" and gave up religion for good.

I then started thinking about how bad it had been. Everybody there was really stupid, and none of them had anything in commom with me. They like wearing tracksuits and hanging around in MacDonalds for fun. And they used to go on friday nights and jump up and down to the music, but in the week theyd all be boasting about how many girls they slept with and how many drugs they took. Trying so hard to be their friend was like banging my head against the wall. And I had good friends in other non christian places but not there. There is a group of the best, most popular Christians, and they never talk to any of the rest of us outcasts.

And I hate everything about it now, how they used to try to persuade us to give more and more money to the church. (the pastors who live off the money donated to the church all live in huge houses and drive BMWs.)

And I hate the cheesy Christian nu metal they used to make us hear every Friday night. I dont know why I wrote all this, but , this is why I am feeling so down,,,the bad memories of church, make me so depressed, even though I havnt been for a year.

This year I went to a missionary reunion with my family, and I met loads of Christians my age , from different places. And I had a great time, I really enjoyed meeting people. But I just cant get over my bad experiences of church.

It sounds like your church wasn't very good. But remember, one church is not representative of a whole religion. In the Gospels, Jesus hung out with all sorts of people, *especially* unpopular sorts such as lepers, whores, criminals etc. Sounds to me like some of those folks aren't as Christian as they think they are. I just feel lucky to be in a good church, where the folks are nice and accepting of everybody.
'Christian Nu Metal'? What the heck? That doesn't sound very Christian to me at all. Most churches sing nice hymns.

I can't even start to say how wrong and un-Biblical that is. Tell your parents about your bad experiences! There are lots and *lots* of great churches out there.

I have come to the conclusion that church is an extension of my religion - don't get me wrong - I try to go to chuch, but, if, for example, I feel bad tommorrow morning I have no illusions that God will smite me for not being in church - and I may get some phone calls from church members - but it won't be 'WHERE WERE YOU?!' it will be 'Are you ok? Did you get overtime at work again, because if you need someone to clean the house or get groceries or something . . .'

I've been lucky in finding a good church, but, as the pastor at this church says, religion is a relationship with God not a relationship with a church - there is a great Goucho Marx quote that says 'Going to church doesn't make you religious any more than going to the garage makes you a car'

Religion is overrated.

Many people use it as an excuse for things.

Hi everyone!

Religion is not overrated! Everybody has religion. And that's because
religion is inside all of us!

If you imagine you're part of humanity that has no religion- that's
religion too!

There's even a book titled, Evolution AS A Religion ! It's what you
are passionate about, that's your religion! A person could be so
passionate about atheistic materialistic philosophy & soon she becomes
the president of the local humanistic society; that's her religion!

During the not-so-long-ago history millions of people were so
passionate about communism, the attempt to build a paradise on
earth without God, & where's the communist empire! GONE!

Passion is inside you & it's up to your choice how you would
use this. Your choice is enormous. You could be picking dying
people in Calcutta ( Mother Teresa!) or you could be killing
millions ( Hitler!)


Peace

You could try looking for a new church, with a nicer set of people.. of course it's not necessary to go to church to be a Christian, but if it's the social life you want I'm sure there are nicer ones.

Well, I'm supposed to be a Buddhist, but I havnt really kept it up.

people do use religion as an excuse for things - most of the people I like to be around are gay and we live in Texas - trust me - I know people use religion as an excuse, but I agree that everyone has a religion because religion is simply a group of beliefs that organize the way you view the world . . .

I tried going to some church shopping a few times but gave up - the happy clappy 'young' ones gave me the creeps, the first question put to me (they notice anyone new) is 'What do you do?' meaning how much do you earn and everything seemed fake. The passing around of money buckets (many times) was a loud and long interruption to the service.

I went to a big catholic cathedral service which offered a lot more anonymity but the way the whole ritual stops while they shove these money pouches on sticks down the pews (not once but twice) annoyed me.

I tried the Anglican cathedral service but the staff and choir all seemed really faggy. Again the money collection seemed the pivotal point of the service, ugh.

I'd rather give at the door on the way in or out (and I do) than have this collossal interruption during a service. I've come to the conclusion that I'm just not a churchgoer, it's far too social for me and I'm not interested in the 'know and be known' people stuff.

PP

It's simple.

Just don't go.

You're an adult and are free to take whatever path you choose. If your family can't deal with it, then that's their problem.

Life is too short to let the bonds (chains?) of family drag your life down.

I dont go anymore, but the memories get me down.

My friend listened to Christian rap.

Church, pastor, etc... are all about money, like almost every human, NT's things!

I do beleive there is a God, just look around you, the universe is there and it hasn't been created by a human nor nothing close to it!

My way of showing my God respect is by respecting his creation, ie everything around me. I don't do vandalisme, i don't ruined the environnment, i do not hurt poeple nor animals..... I am doing this at every and all seconds of my life.

Church and all of this is just a bunch of profitors ( i know there is exceptions, some do behave in a respectful way, but they are really rare, and unfortunatly, they don't last very long in that capitalism organization).

I hope i didn't hurt anyone, it is not my intention.

Hello my OLD friend, nice to see you are still kicking, but what's this old crap?

I just checked my dictionary and I find religion = "Human recognition of a superhuman controlling power..."

So what on Earth are you prattling on about?

Tom, if you have difficulty believing religion, it's for a very good reason; it's unbelievable! Irrespective of what taliroot claimed, if you visit the Aspie sites and check out the various polls on this subject (and there are many) you'll find the majority of Aspies are agnostic/atheist. And most of the rest dabble in wiccan, modern paganism, or satanism...it doesn't mean an Aspie can't be a Christian (or whatever) but it is rare!

gwynfryn, dear chap.....

i do not dabble.

V

What never????

What are we talking about here; astrology?