We shouldn't associate

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As individuals with spectrum disorders, perhaps we should not associate with each other so much.

Echo chambers have an amplification factor that could make it harder rather than easier to get along in the NT world.

If you don't want to associate that is up to you. Telling other people what they should do is in bad form however.

Think it really depends on the person and their environment.

I was dx'd at 11 and never told anyone till 2002 (when I was 22) because I was humiliated over it and was doing everything in my power to beat myself into being an NT - needless to day unsuccessfully. What I needed was really balance in the other direction; ie. I'd grown brittle, needed some kind of reality to touch base with on what other people were like who had it, whether they were shockingly like me or nothing like me, all medical-grade 'losers' as had been hoisted on me or a whole range of capabilities and different personalities; that much at least was incredibly constructive because it de-mythologized what I was going through it also took the reality of what I was fighting with out of my black box and even if it only partially did so it meant that I could acknowledge that I had it, finally, to myself rather than having it be a sign of mortal failure.

Since then it's been rocky - realizing at certain points that I was truly more alone than I thought I was in my identity and struggles, realizing that quite often we have about as much in common as diabetics and having a group based on that purpose is about as much (or little) panacea for both. I also have times where the special interest group politics drives me nuts.

All that aside I think what I've learned is that I'm me. When I come here I'm talking to people who've in some part had a certain kind of overlap with my experience that other people haven't. Also I have a significant cluster of technical NT's but really atypical in their own ways, people who I call close friends and where I don't really know if I'll ever have a long-term close friend who's on the spectrum or not. I guess it really doesn't matter to me from that end because I'm realizing it's the people involved that make the friendship, make the relationship, etc.. and a label as nitch as ASD - especially for people who are at the faint-end of the spectrum - is too niche to have a primary relevance.

So - more than anything I show up here from habit . Started at Aspie Hangout at Delphi in 2002, came here in 2005 and the rest has been what it's been.

I actually find it refreshing to talk with people who can relate to how I feel.

That's a good point. But don't worry. If there's one thing I love, it's telling people things they don't want to hear.

To be sure, there are a couple people with dubious Asperger's credentials on this forum who I don't want to speak to, but that being said, I actually enjoy my experience associating with my fellow Aspies on WP.

Its not the NT world....the world is for everyone neurotypical or not. That said I mostly associate with people on the spectrum on this site, don't really know anyone with autism IRL, I do not see my associating with people with autism on a forum to be detrimental.

I like being on here because I can talk about controversial subjects and people actually understand me and post their views, and I can actually experience (usually) civil debates while seeing multiple sides to the ideas/situations/etc. I don't see an echo-chamber here, I see a lot of points of views.

When I try that on other sites (especially Facebook) I get blocked, insulted, harassed, or just plain ignored. -_-

I agree...
Sharing ideas...
Gaining a greater insight into our situation...
And achieving the resultant personal confidence in a foreign toxic world that is wrong is a wery wery bad thing...

Being facetious rather than sarcastic...

Join the club...

NTs...
Can't train them...
Can't hit them on the nose with a rolled up news paper...

Associating with anyone is better than associating with no one, your own mind is the worst echo-chamber of them all. I think this site avoids the herd mentality better than most, we come in every size/shape/background but we share a lot common experiences. I like posting here, I think I've learned a lot about myself and it helps not feeling like a total freak sometimes. Self advocacy was/is something I've always struggled with, I was never comfortable talking about my Dx or any of my issues in real life and I've made a lot of progress just in the last year or so and I'd like to think this place has been a positive benefit. I don't know anybody on the spectrum in real life, there really isn't a community so I have no worry about an echo chamber arising whatsoever. I wish there was a community like that, just as social outlet even but that isn't in our nature I suppose.

It can be counter productive if you make it so.

Many folks here just degenerate into NT-bashing which accomplishes nothing.

Doesn't not mean that its always, or even usually, bad for autistics to participate in online/real life support groups.

I'm sure that some would see me as an NT basher....
I understand the implications of some of my statements but don't resile from my position...

And here is why:

It is my personal belief that one of the factors causing (social) developmental delays in those on the spectrum is that we try to twist/contort ourselves to suit a social/community system which is "organically" foreign, if not toxic, to us...
It is a system specifically designed for NTs who make up the vast majority in their/our respective societies...
It is a system which is heavily biased towards emotional considerations/satiation rather than a more intellectual/logical orientation...~
In a nutshell, we are square pegs trying to fit into a round hole...

Does anyone seriously believe that those on the spectrum "compete" on an even playing field?

As in *any* personal development process, it is essential/critical that the individual discovers their unique strengths and weaknesses...
(To thine own self be true...)
It is *critical* for the establishment of a cohesive sense of self...
It is *critical* to protect against "ontological insecurity"...

Rather than advocating the crippling of our autistic strengths and the adoption of a value/priority system essentially out of phase with our neurological environment, I suggest we don't loose ourselves in the inherently foreign neurotyicpal mindset...~~

Herbivores have different life priorities/parameters compared to carnivores...
Simples...


~ I am not suggesting it is wrong for those who are NTs, since it explicitly/purposely/specifically caters to their psychological/biological/ needs...
...their particular genetically inspired motivations...

~~ I am not suggesting those on the spectrum shouldn't understand the neurotypical beast...
And shouldn't learn to adopt social camouflage...
I am advocating the acceptance of the inescapable differences between the respective species... <sic>

P.S. Why does this website continually hang, at times, when you are typing?

I'm sorry, I mostly meant this thread as a joke.

because of all the "we shouldn't associate . . . " threads recently.

but i do think that if you want to be independent and make a living in this NT world, you have to learn how to survive in it.

I feel like this is a false dichotomy.

I don't think "emotion" and "logic" are necessarily opposed, or that they are mutually exclusive of eachother. I don't consider myself "more logical" or "less emotional" than my neurotypical peers.


Hard to resist jumping on the bandwagon sometimes.

I almost never make a decision based on "the heart" rather than "the head"...

A survey I came across recently indicated 86% of people based their decisions on emotion, rather than reason...
This I can believe, based on life experiences...

Here is a good example of what I was referring to:

I was recently thinking about buying a new car...
My "heart" said I needed a Jeep Wrangler...
(mmmm...military looking jeep)
My "head" said it was impractical, not the least reason being I have absolutely *no* intention of ever "bush bashing"...
(D'oh!)
And I would be buying it because it looked so purdy...

Ultimately reason bested impractical emotional considerations...

So now we have the explicit context which was implied in my initial comment...

PS...Bloody website...
Every time I edit lately, it transfers a lot of crap making it impossible to type until it finishes...
I think it might be the ads...