Overly Common Dogmas: heretics beware!

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Overly Common Dogmas: heretics beware!

1. The customer is always right, even if they're wrong, just because they might buy stuff later if you cater to their whims or they might whine to their friends if you don't lay prostrate before them and their lousy wallet.

2. It's not what you know, it's who you're related to: you can be the best qualified person for the job, even "über-qualified" by orders of magnitude, but you have no chance of competing for a job if the CEO's uncle-in-law's second cousin also wants that job.

3. You have freedom of speech, but only if it's what other people want to hear: forbid that you might "offend" someone or make them feel "uncomfortable", even though they sure don't mind doing exactly the same thing to you.

4. Lukewarmness is sacrosanct. You must truely believe nothing and stand for nothing, except that "fundamentalism" is evil, even though you must not actually believe in evil - that would just be wrong.

5. People are valued by their bank account and appearence, unless they're a friend or one's self, because money and "love" make the world go around rather than angular momentum.

6. Extroverts are perfect, introverts have "something wrong with them."

7. Eating bacon is a sacrament a vegetarians are evil and just hate businesses because they're all secretly communists.

8. Marriage vows are just poetry to be said without meaning and forgotten as soon as one's spouse is no longer interesting or financially useful.

9. Promises and rules are made to broken, because keeping one's word is too "puritanical" and finding exceptions is far more interesting than finding the strength to do what's right - besides, there's no objective right or wrong anyway and words are just fluctuations in sonic frequencies and amplitude (or strange markings on a surface) that only exist if someone hears or sees them.

10. Always lie; never say what you mean. You might offend someone.

11. Being offended, or, in Popeye's world, offendipated (a mix of being offended and acting constipated, i.e. full of crap) is the worse state of mind and whoever has forced you to feel offendipated has committed a capital crime.

Might throw in:

Saying something intelligent is also a capital crime in social situations. If you're friends are nice about it they'll laugh about it, say you had a 'geek moment', and hope you get the message. Those less nice will just leave.

Dont forget:

Privacy?? What, are you hiding something? Are you some kind of terrorist?

Conformity is a virtue; individualism might as well be a crime.

Mentin trigger warning before every sentence you say or you might trigger someone.

Doubt is a sin; you are supposed to believe everything your religious leaders tell you, without even asking "Why?"

Curiosity is a sin; you are supposed to rely on your religious leaders to explain everything; and that if it makes no sense to you, it is because of your own sinful nature.

Religious leaders never sin; you are supposed to believe that they all have special dispensation from God to do whatever they want.

Science is evil; it seeks to replace God with Charles Darwin, replace the Bible with textbooks on evolution, and teach children to pan-sexual promiscuity.

There's something even worse about science: it might some day enable us to remove the reason so many barriers to sexual satisfaction exist in the first place. And then, how will all that sexual energy be kept frustrated so it can be channelled into noble pursuits like making heretics' lives as miserable as possible?

It seems to be an empirical fact that happy people are harder to convince to live for one another's misery.

Making a quality judgement on a agreed upon successful product (material or immaterial, such as a film), will make you unpopular, as if craftsmanship was subjective and therefore a thing that is decided upon by majority vote.

Truth is decided by the victors.