Women in History Loving Their Husbands

Post Reply New Topic

How Were Women in History able to love their Husbands even if said husbands actively thought and enforced the idea of how Women are 2nd to them in the Hierarchy, or not as people of free will and rights and thoughts of their own.

I understand that many years ago women had little choice in who they marry and they marry because it benefits them and their family, as it is the only way they could 'come into possession' of money and land for the continuity of their lives . But I do not really get how they can actively say that they Love their husband who thinks that they are merely helpless creature who cannot survive without men and with the stereotypical image of a women who's only purpose in life encompasses looking beautiful? Almost all men back then thought that women were to be confined in the household while it is the men who contributed to society.

Is their Love for their husband just something that they had to feel because they knew that despising them and their predicament serves no purpose but to make coexisting with their husband, and going through the motions of life more unbearable? If so, then it is better to simply disregard any and all thoughts about reforming and rejecting how their husband thinks about them as people and to simply push or hide all thoughts of doing so under mass and mass of denial of the small whispers in their hearts that tell them that things should be different, in favour of simply accepting their faith and going on as if nothing is wrong?

There have always been men who think differently--that women are perfectly capable of doing great things if given a chance.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_Curie
Her husband got her a bigger laboratory space.

Historically, most women seemed to accept the role that a male-dominated, religion-based society imposed upon them. To do otherwise was blasphemy, with the penalty being death.

Love your brutal, imperious husband or die by stoning? Decisions, decisions ...

I should think it very much depends on the individual couple, and their relationship. There is always a gap, always room for play, between social designations and interpersonal ones.

Within the social notion of a woman as inferior, a couple may yet find an equality by acknowledging each others strengths and weaknesses, and be supportive and kind toward each other. Within the social notion of equality, each partner of a couple may strive to think themselves the superior partner, and undermine each other in doing so.

If one thinks a particular social/cultural arrangement is Just How Things Are, then I don't see why one wouldn't get on with living within those boundaries. There are still people who think the wealthy and powerful are their betters. Go figure.

As BTDT notes, there have always been people who didn't care for the boundaries, and who upended the idea of Just How Things Are.

It would depend on what your husband was like and if he treated you well, respected you and took care of you. Honestly, sometimes I'd like to have less to worry about. I have a decent job so I can pay my bills, I'm able to go to school and vote and all that is great to a point, but it's not always roses. Women back then did contribute to society by having the children and taking care of the household. These days women want both - to have the kids and a career. I'm a realist - you can't do both and give 100%.

It still goes on today - I'm watching this show called "Arranged" and I'm learning a lot about the Gypsy and Indian cultures. When Gypsy boys turn 16 it is their parents place to start looking for a Gypsy girl for them to marry. They aren't allowed to date before marriage. They are expected to marry at 18 and start a family by 20. The husband is expected to provide and take care of the finances while the wife takes care of the kids, house and husband. What's interesting is they are allowed to get divorced if the marriage doesn't work out, but there are usually no divorces. The women speak highly of their husbands and the men respect their wives.

Arranged marriages with men providing and women taking care of the kids and home have been happening for centuries. It's only in the last 50 yrs that things have changed for women in being somewhat equal to men and there are some things good about it, but there also have never been so many divorces and people staying single and not wanting to marry.

You are already dancing around the grander answer: Women on the whole are not what the modern narrative tells you they are.

To answer your original question: