Existence and have we lived before?

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I often wonder about this. I feel our humanity is only part of our entire existence. I feel there are other lives we have that we don't remember and I feel this is on purpose. I'm not necessarily saying we have lived human lives before. I'm saying that we could have existed in any form, spiritual or otherwise. Once we enter human form, our memories of the previous life are blocked. If you can imagine you've existed for, say, over 1000 years and you could remember every second, you would go insane. I think our memories of each existence are wiped before we move on to the next life. The question is...why? what is the purpose of this? Are we supposed to do something that we're not aware of? and what if someone discovers this 'something' by accident...what would happen to that person?

Here's our existence in visual form as I see it

<--------------------------------------(humanity)-------------------------------------->

Humanity is the only existence we're aware of. The rest of the line is the before and after of our existence which we're not aware of and that line could go on infinitely.

man...a mind could go crazy thinking about this stuff...

sorry..just philosophizing

EDITED: typo

Nice to see some philosophy in here again

If past lives exist I believe the easiest comparison I can make with a soul/spirit is that of a hard drive.
You can erase the hard drive but even if you re use it or put it in another computer (human body), there is a small sector o f data that remains which can be recovered or always in the background waiting to be fished out.

I wonder what it would do to someones mind if they were somehow able to access this data. If you could suddenly remember all your previous existence, would your mind be able to handle it? I feel that the sudden realisation of this fact would drive a person insane. Imagine suddenly being the only person who has knowledge of that. What would one do with such knowledge? Not much. If you tried to tell people, you would be regarded as a nutter.

Starting in my early 20s, I began to wonder about the source of perception and sensation. Why, if neurologically the brain handles everything itself, would a seer behind that brain be necessary? I had difficulty describing this, however, and I tried talking with others about it, to ask them what they thought about it. Unfortunately, everything they said seemed to pollute the concept I was trying to convey. They talked about reincarnation, but in reincarnation other stuff like karma is supposed to go with you (the other stuff polluting it). They mentioned the soul, but the soul contains the basic identity of the person, who they are, what they've done, etc; that concept also polluted what I was trying to describe. I was interested in something absolutely minimal, with all those incidental aspects stripped off, that stands apart from all those things.

I think I better understand how to describe it now. I am talking about the entity to which the contents of consciousness manifest, the core of all experiencing, the manifestee. Without the manifestee, the brain and body would just be a bunch of functions, no matter how elaborate, no matter how much they imitate a person, no matter if even they manifest consciousness. If they do not manifest to a manifestee, then that person is a philosophical zombie. At times, I have wondered about the nature of the manifestee, and how it exists, and what the conditions are for its existence and its becoming attached to a person. How many manifestees are there? Is there only one manifestee, which will eventually experience everything? If so, does the manifestee exist outside of time? If it experiences everything right now, then how is it that this manifestee, that is attached to the person called "Beneficii", is limited to just one person? Are there many manifestees, so that they do not exist outside of time? If that is the case, then where do they come from and can they be destroyed? What can a manifestee attach to other than persons? Can it attach to lower animals? Can it attach to computers? Is the term "contents of conciousness" not minimal enough? How about then we replace that with "things"? Are there some people to whom no manifestee attaches, actual philosophical zombies?

If no manifestees exist and manifestation is all an illusion, then how does the universe exist? How, then, would anything exist if it does not manifest?

As this questioning progresses, the thought that the universe may exist without manifestees terrifies me. I then think about this manifestee. After death, what will happen to this manifestee? There is sheer terror and everything begins to feel woozy and unstable, and my field of vision becomes 2-dimensional, as well as warped and distorted, and there is a wave moving across it causing things to enlarge and then become smaller as it passes through it from left to right; the rectangular boundary of the field of vision becomes distorted, in the same manner as the things inside the visual field become distorted. After a short time, I recover and the terror passes. Things go back to normal.

I wonder what that is?

All I know is, I don't want to come back for a next time. I'm content to live out the life I have, don't get me wrong, I don't want this life cut short. But it's been difficult enough that if anyone on the other side, when I get there, says I have to go around again and come back to this earthly plane and live a human life again, there will be figurative hell to pay, lol. Seriously I will tell them to eff themselves, I'm not coming back here again. I don't care if they tell me there are still lessons to learn, I refuse to go around again with this hell on earth. Screw the lessons. Let me be unfinished, I don't want another life to have to live.