Basically since I was very young, about 4 I wanted to keep my mind the same and not change when I become an adult.
From 4 I know the basic idea I already had in mind and as I got older I developed it. I observed other children being mean to each other sometimes and adults seeming to be unhappy even though there were lots of interesting things in the world. I thought most people when they grow up turn 'bad' and hurt others. I also I thought that children understand things adults don't because they forget as they get older. Also I had an obsession with stopping time for a while and in my teen years I've felt the feeling time doesn't exist and no time which is weird as heck. I wouldn't like to feel it again.
I think can't quite remember now but as children we might think a different way. It makes sense, when we go through puberty we lose many neurons in the brain that are no longer useful. I know I used to have a photo like memory. Apparently it's pretty common in children around 5 but they lose ability when they start to learn socially since words are more useful than thinking in pictures. I didn't have a proper photographic memory but kinda close to, I've lost that ability now. I've lost a few skills I used to have because my parents wanted me to be 'normal' so I decided to be that way and I expected they would not like me being normal and would want 'me' back but that never happened.
Basically I made a promise of sorts never to change and never become like other people because they forget what is very important. I think I might have actually caused my own personality to be this way and my viewpoint at the time contributed not learning socially. I did not think it was important. I know for certain I would be happier if I wasn't changing myself to be 'normal' now.
But I'm wondering do you reckon I had a point as a kid? Also how could I know or learn such things this young? Nobody taught me things like this are nobody in my family is religious so I don't know if I could have picked up such an idea.
17 Nov 2016, 5:13 pm
