I don't want to worship a god who tests man

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I don't want to worship a god that tests man and society at all. Why am I "obligated" to do this, and condemned by having problems with the way he works? Seeing things in today's world, I am so upset and mad with "Yahweh" for arbitrarily allowing me to be born on this earth, only to theoretically return and whisk us away to his almost-1984 Orwellian eternal "kingdom" for eternity. It's like he gave me something that sounded good and can allow it or "return" to have it taken away before I can even have a chance to taste it. This is one of the reasons why I dislike the whole faith and worship, and have been getting more crazy and mad over the last 10 years after it started. And that's why I'm still on edge about the "end-times" beliefs and theories about mass destruction.

I feel insane for blaspheming and taking out my anger and frustrations with my own personal issues and the whole society today. But on one hand, I am really furious and worry a bit about the breaking point where I go totally insane. It doesn't matter whether God "works". Being mad or upset with him is independent of whether he exists or not.

I would have more hopeful reasons living it if I were born decades before I really was, but let's leave it here, and I don't want to discuss that point right now!

You're under no obligation whatsoever to take seriously any Iron-Age mythology based upon a book prefaced by a story about a talking snake with a magic apple in an enchanted garden.

I have a hard enough time imagining myself worshiping something that made evolution to be the blood bath of misery that as well as giving us all of the wars and horrors of man's humanity against man - even if there was no hell and it habitually hug-bombed us under every time we died and broke threshold.

I think we just have really crap models still, this particular corner of the bronze age book club is a really mixed bag in terms of quality, and so much of what gets haggled is human politics and human assumptions. Whatever else might be watching us quite likely is little like we've imagined and quite possibly doesn't even have the omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient trifecta that we've come to take as standard in western religious traditions.