Why do people still practice Magick?

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naturalplastic
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04 Jun 2019, 5:39 am

cyberdad wrote:

OMG! the scripture on Onan is too unbelievable to consider
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan

WTH was god thinking???

Yeah. Folks (including Mel Brooks in the 2000 year old man sketches with Carl Riener) mistakenly think he was punshed for masturbating (that was what I was joking about). But scholars agree that that is a misconception.

His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.

In other words: like many modern investors today, Onan "paid a substantial penalty for early withdrawal". :lol:

TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 6:38 am

naturalplastic wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

OMG! the scripture on Onan is too unbelievable to consider
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan

WTH was god thinking???

But we can infer that since semen is so valuable none of it should be wasted.

Wet dreams should be avoided at all costs, so it’s important to avoid fantasizing before bed (this has actually been said!).

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magz
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04 Jun 2019, 6:48 am

Twilightprincess wrote:

It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.

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cyberdad
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04 Jun 2019, 6:52 am

naturalplastic wrote:

His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.

magz wrote:

It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.

It's really strange that an omnipotent being who has power over the entire universe would spend his sunday afternoon watching some random Jewish dude having sex?

TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 6:55 am

cyberdad wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.

magz wrote:

It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.

It's really strange that an omnipotent being who has power over the entire universe would spend his sunday afternoon watching some random Jewish dude having sex?

He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.

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magz
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04 Jun 2019, 7:00 am

Twilightprincess wrote:

He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.

St Francis was said to sing psalms in an outhouse.

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cyberdad
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04 Jun 2019, 7:01 am

Twilightprincess wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.

magz wrote:

It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.

It's really strange that an omnipotent being who has power over the entire universe would spend his sunday afternoon watching some random Jewish dude having sex?

He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.

Exactly my point! It's like having somebody spying on you when masturbating to pornhub

TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 7:02 am

cyberdad wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.

magz wrote:

It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.

It's really strange that an omnipotent being who has power over the entire universe would spend his sunday afternoon watching some random Jewish dude having sex?

He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.

Exactly my point! It's like having somebody spying on you when masturbating to pornhub

The idea is supposed to keep you from engaging in such practices.

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cyberdad
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04 Jun 2019, 7:02 am

magz wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.

St Francis was said to sing psalms in an outhouse.

Lord make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy
O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it's in dying that we are born to eternal life
Amen

**Flush**

cyberdad
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04 Jun 2019, 7:03 am

Twilightprincess wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.

magz wrote:

It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.

It's really strange that an omnipotent being who has power over the entire universe would spend his sunday afternoon watching some random Jewish dude having sex?

He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.

Exactly my point! It's like having somebody spying on you when masturbating to pornhub

The idea is supposed to keep you from engaging in such practices.

Or you will go blind right?

TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 7:06 am

cyberdad wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.

magz wrote:

It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.

It's really strange that an omnipotent being who has power over the entire universe would spend his sunday afternoon watching some random Jewish dude having sex?

He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.

Exactly my point! It's like having somebody spying on you when masturbating to pornhub

The idea is supposed to keep you from engaging in such practices.

Or you will go blind right?

Or be struck by lightning.
Or be cast into the fires of Hell.

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Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess

cyberdad
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05 Jun 2019, 2:24 am

Which reminds me that conjuring magic is considered a "hellworthy" act...abracadabra! christian folks back in 2001 were positing that people who read Harry Potter books would become possessed.

Fnord
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05 Jun 2019, 9:32 am

cyberdad wrote:

... Christian folks back in 2001 were positing that people who read Harry Potter books would become possessed.

Some Christians have been making similar declarations since before the Renaissance about anything that distracts people from putting money in the collection plate.

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TwilightPrincess
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05 Jun 2019, 9:45 am

cyberdad wrote:

Which reminds me that conjuring magic is considered a "hellworthy" act...abracadabra! christian folks back in 2001 were positing that people who read Harry Potter books would become possessed.

Harry Potter was a big no no in my church. Reading Harry Potter books could bring on demons.

It was always entertaining to see where individuals would draw the line. Harry Potter was bad to everyone, but some people (including my family) read Tolkien. I’m not sure why Tolkien was okay but the Harry Potter series wasn’t.

Others (like my aunt) wouldn’t even let their kids watch some Disney movies like Sleeping Beauty.

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Fnord
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05 Jun 2019, 9:54 am

Twilightprincess wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

Which reminds me that conjuring magic is considered a "hellworthy" act...abracadabra! christian folks back in 2001 were positing that people who read Harry Potter books would become possessed.

Harry Potter was a big no no in my church. Reading Harry Potter books could bring on demons. It was always entertaining to see where individuals would draw the line. Harry Potter was bad to everyone, but some people (including my family) read Tolkien. I’m not sure why Tolkien was okay but the Harry Potter series wasn’t. Others (like my aunt) wouldn’t even let their kids watch some Disney movies like Sleeping Beauty.

Your former church was Jehovah's Witness & Watchtower Society, right?

When I know that they are canvassing my neighborhood, I put on my old monk's robe and meet them at the door with my 2nd Edition Dungeon Masters Guide or Players Handbook. You should see them run!

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TwilightPrincess
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05 Jun 2019, 9:58 am

Fnord wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

Which reminds me that conjuring magic is considered a "hellworthy" act...abracadabra! christian folks back in 2001 were positing that people who read Harry Potter books would become possessed.

Harry Potter was a big no no in my church. Reading Harry Potter books could bring on demons. It was always entertaining to see where individuals would draw the line. Harry Potter was bad to everyone, but some people (including my family) read Tolkien. I’m not sure why Tolkien was okay but the Harry Potter series wasn’t. Others (like my aunt) wouldn’t even let their kids watch some Disney movies like Sleeping Beauty.

Your former church was Jehovah's Witness & Watchtower Society, right?

When I know that they are canvassing my neighborhood, I put on my old monk's and meet thm at the door with my 2nd Edition Dungeon Masters' Guide or Players' Handbook. You should see them run!

Yep

LOL

Just don’t be mean to them unless it’s an authoritarian-looking, middle-aged dude. Then you can be a little mean.

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