Child Abuse Is Not Funny

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Good!

Are you allowed to smack kids where you live?

I think that’s wrong, too.

No, though I think it was still legal when I was little. Our dad did often threaten to hit us if we didn't behave when my sister and I were little, but I don't remember him ever doing so. I do remember being hit by my sisters, but we were all kids, so I think it's more like children's fight than abuse. And yes, I did hit back.

Oh, it's not ineffective at all. I think the problem is there are too many parents who use disciplinary methods ineffectively, and by that I mean whether they spank or do something else. My kids don't throw tantrums any more. But when they did, we generally didn't spank them for that. What I would do is say, "You are really upset right now and I'm putting you in time out. You haven't done anything wrong, I am not angry, and you are NOT IN TROUBLE. You just need to work this out on your own for a little while. I will check on you in 5 minutes." And after that I'd say, "Are you feeling better? If you are, you can come out, but stay as long as you need to." And if the child wanted to talk about it, we would talk about it. I think that fixed 90% of the behavioral problems we had. We never really had to do the whole "naughty chair" thing. We mostly found ways to keep them from misbehaving in the first place. "Oh, did that toy make you mad? Tell ya what, I'm going to take your toy and put it in timeout, ok? Hey, look at THIS toy!" Mostly we just expected them to follow the behavior we modeled for them and didn't give them much choice. Because our oldest two did well, our youngest pretty much just followed their lead. Our kids don't even really need us anymore except for food and transportation to school.

The first time I ever spanked a child, it was about the time he turned three when he went from a cute toddler to demon-possessed. Sociopathic, even. He would head-butt his mother and nearly broke her teeth. He did the same thing to me on more than one occasion. Emptying out the garbage can all over the floor. Breaking valuables. Showed absolutely no remorse whatsoever. Timeout/naughty chair didn't work. Speaking to him/reasoning with him didn't work. He wouldn't even say he was sorry, and he DID know how to say it. Taking away toys--he didn't miss them. His mother and I discussed what to do and agreed he had no feelings whatsoever for what he did. We agreed I'd handle the next situation that came up. And when it happened it was like the light came back on and he was a great kid again. I think it was that he had something tangible, his own physical feelings, to connect with the pain he inflicted on his mother that really woke him up and made him more empathetic. There were times since, but it became extremely rare as none of our kids really did anything that warranted that kind of discipline.

My oldest sweet-talked his mom into getting him a cell phone for his birthday this year, but sadly all he did with it was watch stupid YTP videos and Annoying Orange. Like, obsessively. As in at one point he was getting straight F's in school. The whole point of having a phone had been for school or church trips he could let us know to pick him up, plus having some entertainment along the way isn't unreasonable. So unless he's doing something soccer or archery related or he's at a church activity, he doesn't get his phone back. He's had a crazy-negative attitude lately and picked up some bad habits. We took the phone away with 3 weeks of school left and he pulled all his grades back up to A's, B's, and C's. He's still failing math, but I'm convinced the math teacher doesn't know how to teach. His attitude is much better, too, and he pays more attention to his siblings who adore him. Do we take advantage of other methods of correction? Of course we do, and we don't think that his age is appropriate for corporal punishment. But when I look at how he used to act versus how he turned out, yeah...I'm satisfied that his mother and I did the right thing with him and his brother and sister.

If you don't like it, then don't do it. How you choose to correct your own children, if you correct them at all, is none of my business. I just happen to see nothing wrong with it.

If you don't like physically correcting a child, then don't do it. Nobody's forcing you to.

Oh, it's not ineffective at all... snip

Ok so it's not about education then? It's only about discipline? Really?
The art of self discipline taught through physical assault on a person much smaller than the person carrying out the assault....

That too falls apart after some thought though I estimate it's all tied into peoples identity system.

They all do, all arguments for physically assaulting a younger/smaller person... much the same reasoning as physical assault toward any person is not acceptable.

The rub is that appearances with or without actual understanding is the obvious goal, especially so as little ones do not have the all the capabilities adults require of them to perform superficial behaviour. Its a set up for a fail, feeding a loop.

Culturally, it may be normal in your pocket of the world, no judgement on the choices you have available. Where abouts in America are you based?

I don’t like seeing other people physically abuse their kids which is what “physical correction” is.

If they feel one is entitled to 'physically correct' another, why not merely 'correct' them** with a sock full of change?

If it's assault than you have an obligation to intervene. If it's not assault you shouldn't care.

**the parent who's in the midst of whooping their kid

I thought I was pretty clear about how to respond when it crosses the threshold into assault:



Since your safety is more important than the abusive parent's, don't stop hitting until they're no longer able to actively defend themselves or resist your will being imposed. I guarantee they'll never hit another kid again, certainly not in public. Inflicting PTSD tends to be quite effective at modifying behaviour.

By definition, child abuse is illegal, bad, wrong

But "child abuse" is vague and subjective

The child and the defendant have different definitions of "child abuse"

An article claimed that a man told his daughter he was going to hit her. She told him it's illegal and she was calling 911. He told her go ahead. 911 came and supervised. 911 told her it's not child abuse



The Penal Code does not specify Newton's

Everyone has a different number of pain receptors


Different states and years have different laws


Even two different Child Protective Services representatives might say one situation is child abuse and the other one nothing

Flaming posts removed. If that poster continues to flame, then formal warning will apply.