What motivates a good person?

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I don't often have philosophical ponders to share, but I think this could be autism related.

I really struggled to think of a good title. Let me explain.

Imagine a person who has had good manners drummed into them. They know that if they see someone with a baby buggy struggling to open a door that they should hold it open for them. They see a person walking with a zimmer frame and they help them to carry their bags.

They do it because they know it is the right thing to do, but they don't feel anything. They don't really care if the person was struggling to physically open the door or carry their bags. But they were taught that such things are polite.

Sometimes they forget to do things for others. And they are annoyed that they forgot or didn't notice. The annoyance comes from knowing they didnt do what they were meant to, a sense of duty or they realise that the other person has become upset with them and they know that's a bad place to be.

They don't feel sorry, but they know that they dropped the ball and will try better. They hope they will remember next time. But they don't feel anything much about the situation.

What is more good? Being motivated by love or by compassion or simply knowing what is helpful and what good manners are and doing things out of duty?

Compassion is motivated by love.

From an autistic perspective …I do good because ...

1. Past abuses to me resonate with me. I don't wish them on others.

2. (Wrong Planet behavior) has been drilled out of me by others somewhat.

Like, people expect you to say, "Hi" when you first meet them for the first time in a day. Likely, my autism made it more likely others pushed their positive behaviors on me.

So, I am trained to do good.

3, My personality type is INFJ: The Advocate. Possibly, my brain personality is one of being very sensitive to what others feel, so likely, I want get the reciprocation of "doing good".

What one defines as good can be different from person to person. What I broadly define it as is in terms of tabletop alignment, good is putting the good of others when you could just be selfish. A good aligned person looks sees how they may help someone else, and either rejects or not even thinks how they could benefit, they are motivated by how they can help others.

But whether they are aligned good does put some question in whether they are contextually good. Someone who cares about others over themselves can do some bad things, like a bible thumper could tell atheists they are going to hell, one might be confused that conversion therapy is something helpful, one might even be so confused that they think killing people is helping their souls. By the same vein, someone who does charitable things that help others may not actually be a good person, they could be obsessed with making themselves look really kind and helpful as to gain social clout, while actually not caring if it really helps others.

Putting aside ulterior motives, I think the only way you can know someone is good is if they genuinely care about whether someone helps others, and in context I would say they try hard enough question if what they are doing is actually right. Not to sound anti-religion, but I think the important part of that is fighting against what might feel familiar and comforting, as beliefs can blind you from what actual good you are doing. Fighting against your own ignorance and not trusting in ancient texts.

In the scheme of things, I bet I don't live up to other people's ideas of being good, like I don't go around saying hi to people. My reason being my social anxiety makes me terrified of being a nuisance to others, so often avoiding people is my way of trying to not inconvenience others. I otherwise may hold doors open for others, hate lying or any perception of taking advantage of something I don't deserve. When I play a video game, I can't stand the idea that I do a bad and terrible thing to someone else, even though I know that they are fictional characters, I feel too bad when I could have solved things in a peaceful way, that does not cause further harm.

In certain order;
-Certain Pathologies/Guilt/Fear
-Sums Numbers game only 'positive' or optimistic disposition
-Cooperation over competition
-Naivety/Conditioning
-Duty/Responsibility/Civility/Ethics/'Morality'
-'Empathy' supposedly/Sympathy/Understanding/Resonance
-This:

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That's a very cynical approach. I am just programmed that way, I don't expect reward, admiration or approval from mortals or the God I believe in. Life is so much better when we don't think of ourselves all the time.

Ability to think of myself as a good person - or the satisfaction of "I did the right thing" - is a reward by itself.

You can still do good deeds even if you dont have altruistic motives

I think humans have evolved ethical drive in individuals for the gain of living in more cooperative societes.
Actual ethical judgements are likely influenced by cultures but the drive seems universal.
Following natural drives is rewarding.