Examining the precise nature of transformation

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I firmly believe that if one must find God then one is best served in submission to the altar of "Pure Reason." This post will elaborate upon my admittedly subjective interpretation of psychological/spiritual/philosophical transformations, fed through my obsessive analysis of my own developments.
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TLDR: Solving the complex quandary of "how do I live in greatest wellbeing" incorrectly (by sedative coping and consciousness dulling) ultimately leads to a hangover-like march to the grave. Live in accordance to reason and you shall find the most satisfaction from life long term.
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I will start with the recognition that although I do strongly relate to many autistic experiences, I have recently become honest with myself regarding my exhibition of a Cluster B personality type, likely induced by early childhood trauma in terms of forced separation from early, emotionally unintelligent figures.

I have spent a life of dulling my sensation to affective empathy from a very young age. This permitted me to witness the "opiating effect" of affective empathy, and in my young adulthood I began transforming my outward demeanor to achieve the opiating effect on others. I recognized this as beneficial to meeting my survival needs.

Recently... I broke physiologically. It occurred because I am studying software engineering in a difficult fashion, and the mental strain inherent to complex problem solving with deadlines rendered me nearly incompetent at doing things like eating properly, bathing, etc. I could logically realize it was a matter of "seeing the puzzle as fun instead of stressful" but I was still straining my health in other ways, and I went through a week in which my brain felt like an engine without lubricant and was performing nearly ADHD level distraction techniques. I forced with will to focus enough to continue, but the weekend produced a moment of clarity as my mind and body gave in to "cope."

It has been studied in "mind control" style experiments that someone becomes the most suggestible after severe stress, that they open to a new "way of salvation," a realization others can use to influence behavior towards desirable ends. I suspect that spiritual awakenings and philosophical transformations are a manifestation of classical conditioning.... it is the response to trauma. I also suspect that cultures themselves craft "ways of thinking" to encourage transformations useful to that civilization for a variety of neurotypes, personalities, and classes.

Almost everyone appears to be living as a junkie in pursuit of sedation (with a loose use of the word meaning the dulling of immediate pain). Affective empathy is deeply sedative to neurotypicals. From that perspective, people like being around someone acting Bill Clinton because he's a walking ibuprofin. I suspect Hitler had an effect on people similar to an amphetamine. People get a long burning mood stabilizer from having "warm and empathetic relationships."

I have found personally that unfocused rumination is also sedative and is my strongest addiction.

What are the choices of transformation for intelligent, cynical Cluster B's? The refutation of overt, neurotypical mysticism makes this complex, as they will attempt to convert "to reason," and they will mostly do so incorrectly by "coping" instead. Some will repress their already stunted sensations of remorse, guilt, and concern for justice into psychopathy (or be traumatized into that at birth)... because psychopaths don't seem to suffer. Those smarter will attempt a methodology to reconstruct affective empathy without attachment, to get that mood stabilizing cope. Those smarter yet will begin to meditate away consciousness to become like a machine which concerns itself not with the anxieties of future degradation and trauma...preserving what is merely necessary to enhance one's need to feel as an infinitely young, beautiful, loved, omnipotent cosmic deity.... to get that "cope." The smartest who still fail at wisdom will try to meditate away consciousness to become as an animal who does not consciously experience causality... they will try something like Zen.

You can see Hollywood style personalities strongly manifested here. I am not attempting to say that all people attempting these lifestyles are Cluster B. I am saying these lifestyles are nevertheless irrational.

What does sedation lead to when applied without cessation? It leads to suffering... like a hangover. The "ice cold psycho" is in a state of heavy sedation from agony they're running from like an addict. They do not realize it.

I suspect that living in sedation until your bodily machinery prevents sedation from working is what leads to dementia. Perhaps dementia is "the hangover from living too much of life in madness."

Thinking all these things, I tried something. I tried therapeutic breathing and massaging out of severe need for release from pain. I could immediately feel the bloodflow permeate my body and my neck and back regain looseness. At first the desire for psychological cope came. I found a drive towards both psychopathic and Zen thinking, perceiving myself as having found a method in congruence with reason. My interpretation of Zen was highly self-interested... like wanting to find wealth in order to cocoon and meditate for longevity and youth, like the whole thing was a big con to get the unintelligent competitors to live in weakness doing nothing... like I was supposed to see a cryptic cultural message which told me the truth of a psychopathic religion for those socially intelligent enough to "get it." This is likely projection of my thinking at the time.

I was sitting however in a moment and found my mental voice recalling "trauma." I found it easy... very easy... to swat the sentiment. I realized then the nature of the cope...the sedation of sacrificing your cognitive bandwidth to the pain it feels.

So I stopped trying to escape. I found my body and mind to feel literally "in a hangover" the moment I successfully meditated while not trying to transform my mind. I realized this is what the sedation covers up. I realized that enduring this brief hell is infinitely better than waiting until the grave forces it. It's healing and allows you to enjoy the better sedations of life "not as a junkie." I can very clearly discern my mental and physical wellbeing improving with this view of living in a rapid way.

The intoxicants of life are worth pursuing so long as one can sit and be philosophically honest with oneself about processing trauma with full mindfulness.

You may find this all to be a bit "well duh," but to me it feels quite seriously liberating.

Thank you for sharing.

Have a nice day!

i for one read 'the Whole Passage'
NO SARCASM HeaR; i am Human
For My Special Interest Is Human Nature;

And God Yes; The Rest of Nature As Well;

(Note: That's Kind of a 'Normal' Thingie)

How Does One Excel at This Special Interest;

Well, of Course 'they' take the Effort to Actually Absorb
the Nature of Others; and Not Only Develop Patience to
Understand what may not Be Understood Before; but 'By
God' to Develop Cognitive Empathy; Now that Really comes
in handy, in Terms of All Human Success; So, Perusing Your 'Soul'

As You Go to All the Trouble to Express that in Words Commendable

in

deed

And You Even Admit
You are having some
'Cluster B' Personality
Disorder Stuff; i didn't
Notice, if You are a Man
or a Woman; but that surely
Shows You Are Not a Timid Soul
Afraid of what Other Folks will think
about you; so, Perhaps you really don't
have a Cluster B Problem After All; as it
is rare that someone 'like that' will admit REAL challenge.

A Greatest Challenge is Social Abuse and Neglect; if Folks
Without the Cognitive Empathy to Walk in those Shoes could
Actually Experience A Torture of That; Surely, Sympathy Would Arise

at least...

My Father was likely
Somewhere on the Autism
Spectrum; Very Aloof; but my
Mother Dripping with all Caring Estrogen Love Nurturing
Even A Potential Lion into A Lamb to the Point A Lion has

to Seek And Find That They Even are actually Born to be Wild;

These Feelings, Senses, Thoughts come Now in Autotelic Flow All
Naturally And Holistically, With Really No Effort at all; Feather Floating
in a Random Breeze; Yet, Full of Meaning and Purpose Without Any Planning at all.

Disclaimer: i am totally Financially Independent; it would be too much of a Nuisance
Away from the Experience of Constant Heaven Within to Sully My Self in any act associated with
Making Money
or Buying
Stuff; Yuck,
Stuff Like
that Born
of Humans
No Longer Naked and
Wild and Free (by the
way, 3 times stronger
than Young Folks in
the Military Gym
at 60 Years Old;
Evidence upon
Request Enough
up to 1520 Pounds
Leg Pressing 8 Reps
at 90 Degrees Deep
Angle; Additionally,
Still, 1340 Pounds
12 Reps this way
Extremely Slow
100 Seconds
in Duration;
Now Still on
YouTube
too; Thousands of
Selfies Taken with Beautiful
Women, College Age, at Close to
60 Years-Old; Before Covid-19 took
That Other Special Interest of Dance and
Smiles; Yes that too; With 13,588 Miles of
Public Dance Assessed by the General Audience
Of Public as Legend, Famous, and stuff like that documented
in 1300 Comments in a Viral Video with over 88 Thousand Views
that someone else took the trouble to Promote my Overall Ministry
of Moving Meditation Free Flowing Autotelic Dance; Works to gain the
Focus to write A Longest Epic Long Form Poem: "SonG oF mY SouL"
'Personal Bible' Now at 8.4 MiLLioN Words in the Same 84 Months as
The Public Dance to Complete in a rather Massive Effort in Bliss of Dance
And Song Of Autotelic Flow; 'By God', i even Do it in Dreams of Night Just Heaven
this way
for
Real,
24/7;
Yes, Introspection
And Sharing Achievements
in Life for Pay or Not For Pay;
May Be Seen As Bragging or Sharing
or Inspiring; Depends on if one wants
to Grow Taller as A Tree to the Sun Higher
or Just Spend Their Lives attempting to Shade
Taller Trees; As By God that's Just Physically
And Psychologically Impossible to do; For the
Tallest Trees Never Feel Any need to Shade
For People Naturally Fall Under the Shadows
And At Best, 'By God' Bring A Smile
to someone
else's
Face For
Real and who
Knows, Perhaps
Inspires someone to
Grow a Taller Tree;
instead of Pretending
They are a Tall Tree
And Doing their
best to Shade
Taller
Trees
that is again impossible to Do;
unless they actually Put More
than the Talk Necessary to
Grow Taller; if i may
Say Kudos my
FRiEnD
and to
Be clear
FRiEnD
Just Means
Fred in FRiEnD
that much i will
Always count on and it's
Amazing the Honey a Self-Sufficient
FLoWeR Will Collect Every Day of Their Life;
Again for those Non-Believers; evidence upon 'Demand'...

Do Understand, if 'You' Will; How to Make Folks With 'Little Folks Syndrome' Leave
You Alone; Just Prove to them, there is Nothing in the World but Love they will Give to You..

i Definitely Understand my Precise Nature of Transformation at least; As Every Experience
though Human Archetype of Hero Journey; is Different as Same Indeed; i Moved From Not
Speaking until 4 Assessed as too Weak and Strange to Exist by Peers in School and Work
through 3 College Degrees; Handing Out Shoes at A Military Bowling Center then through
Higher Grades of Federal Government Pay in Athletic Director of a Military Installation;
Last Kid Picked in Sports in School; But Not the Strongest Leg Pressing Dude in the
Gym until After Recovering From 19 Medical Disorders at 53, Including the Worst
Pain known to Humankind; Type Two-Trigeminal Neuralgia that is assessed as
Actually Worse than the real Torture of Crucifixion, Wake to Sleep; Yes,
66 Months Trapped With All that Pain, 47-53; Not able to Remember
if i ever Smiled At All; You See, We have a Metaphor of a Rational
Mind that really is only a Tool of the Pre-Frontal Cortex
that as Assessed at most comprises about 5 Percent
as Our Conscious Thinking Mind; Some Folks
Are Ruled by this Mechanical Cognition
Mind as a Limited Tool And Machine
they Become; Others Find Ways
to Autotelic Flow and Escape
'The Rider' of the Rest of the 'Blue
Whale Mind' and Astronomically Increase
their Overall Human Potential; in Not Only
Neuroplasticity; but Epigenetic Positive Change
to Extreme Challenges in the Environment one
May Design themselves in Ways of Never Leaving
'Boot Camp', Even if One Never Goes in the First place,
or in someone else's Play of Life; True, As We may become
The Writer, Director, Producer, And Zen Ego Artist Actor And
Scientist of Our Own Play of Life; Wow, isn't Transformation Interesting;
indeed it is And real it is; and again for those who say it is only Woo and Pooh
surely they
are full
of something
else they are yet
to actually Seek and
Find as the Real Human
Potential Within Worthy of
A Name Like the Force of 'God'
Within and not the 'Trademark God'
in a Book used by real Psychopathic leaning
Folks Still to Remove Self-Agency From Others
With Belief as Love of All Stuff Existence Becomes
The Faith that is impossible to Remove and 100 Percent Human Light...

i would love to hear
someone else's
Transformation
of Life; An Ultimate
Philosophy, Religion
And Politics of Finding
Whole Life Within, Out of
the Nasty other Cocoons of this
Life And Truly Doing Butterfly, Birds, And Bees Free...

Yeah; You Get to hear Fictional Stories like this that
are usually Centered around some World Domination
Conquest as such; but how Do 'You' KNoW they are real
When one Masters 'The all within' All that's
Left to Do is Give; Real Love this way
in Light Never Demands Worship
And is Never Afraid of Criticism
And Has No Secrets in Fear
to Share for this indeed
is the Real Capstone and
The Base of the Pyramid
One For Real; Just Another
Living Tree; Just Another
Weed With Flowers Unafraid
to Fully Bloom And Inspire
A World to actually Breathe...
At least those Unafraid to See
Shine of Stars AcTuaLLy Fully Breathing Now..

Actually, A Rather Apt Metaphor is Losing the
Parachute of Slave and Master That Keeps
Us Bound In Only Worldly Potential of Lies;
Sure, There are many Other Metaphors too
When Agency (Will), Faith And Belief Become
The Essence of Love; WHere No Hope is Needed
As Feather and Wind Become One 'Spirit Free'; Hmm,
Now the Only Question is, do i used Katy Perry's 'Rise'
Song to Accompany These Lyrics too or do i do i do
Beyonce's
'Spirit'
All About
A 'Lioness' King
too; hmm.. let's
See; Lion King Seems
Apt HeaR; But Lioness Queen is
ACTuALLY' KinG' oF 'SPiRiT WinD ONE"

I read some of your words and thought I would comment on some ruminations.

I'm beginning to wonder if man's development of reason is an adaptation from a traumatic environment in which the animal is fulfilling its own frenzied instinct to "be young, healthy, and beautiful forever" and realizes this is not going to occur without manipulating the environment. It appears to undergo enormous bodily/mental strain in this quest, and in its infantile development of analytical reasoning, is viewing suicidal living as the answer....suicidal in the sense that one is behaving in fashions which degrade the whole physiological wellbeing, creating faster ageing. It appears as a chimpanzee with its hand stuck in a trap attempting the reward response and getting less capable of deductive reasoning due to frustration.

I suspect that in the frenzied quest and the mental/physical trauma one inflicts upon oneself in the idiocy of youth, man gives up the struggle of a logical analysis of reality. He releases his hand from the trap and deludes himself into saying "My analysis is now complete, and I may stop this philosophical quandary which has given me anxiety, depression, bodily ageing from stress, and various neurological complications." This release from struggle provides euphoria in contrast to stress, and the animal now associates the delusion with the reward response, sedating trauma with "the answer to everything." This appears to permit the animal to drive through further trauma without feeling the need to intelligently respond.

Human culture does seem to provide archetypes through monomythic narrative which prepare its various neurological and personality types for their trauma delusional response based on their education/class. I suspect this is the collective drive for immortality which coerces the human animal into cooperating suicidality with the march towards scientific actualization of our primal "wants." What is competitive civilization but the best narrative tricks to persuade the ambitious to addictively bear the cognitive strain of executing the mass sedation of the "neuro-servile" population for the purpose of generating the economic growth required to produce intellectual capital?

Perhaps the nature of philosophy is sobriety. The quest for mankind ought to be the sophisticated cultural transmission to all that "Thought is madness. Logic is the answer to everything." Perhaps man could then realize that material/intellectual scarcity is the condition of predation and in information/material abundance, there is a more rational manner in which to answer the frenzied question of fulfilling our animal lust for personal divinity.

In simple terms...what do you define as personal divinity?

The embodiment of a fluid mentalization of consciousness in perfect accordance with LOGIC.... to the ends of increasing one's personal sense of euphoric vitality as stably and long as possible. This is in accordance with one's strongest, driving instinct: "The will to live, overcome, and triumph in world of causal entropy."

This includes the mentalization of optimum social and emotional intelligence in addition to analytical deduction.

What if one reinterprets sayings of "great prophets" as a socially, emotionally intelligent means of transferring knowledge through social institutions dominated by those with "elevation addiction?"

What if one attempts to read them in terms of simple, practical logical descriptions which are not mystical (beyond the understanding of trauma delusional responses) and instead attempt to read them as "technical manuals made in plain language, distorted over time by those with ambition/greed?"

Something like this:

Christianity:
The way (constant behavioral pattern) to God (state of pure Logical Analysis of Reality) is through me (Mental Sobriety).

Hinduism:
Nirvana: breathing correctly (muscle tension decreases CONSTANTLY while breathing at ALL times.).

Samsara: Ignorance of "reasoned world of causal entropy" and the ways in which cultural informational transfer informs internal/external sense of identity as "delusion of heroic narrative struggle" in response to "stupid life methods which cause cognitive strain."

Duhka: Mental and Bodily Strain leading to increased ageing and dysphoric experience of life. Literally
muscle tension and anxiety/depression/dark rumination.
Created by failure to practice a perfectly logical mentalization of reality.

Rebirth: Life method failure. Uneasy recalibration of "how to be."

Reincarnation: reinvention of one's self deluded heroic narrative which adapts to previous failure.

Karma: Action. The "doing of."

Atman: The self as a "state of optimum logical reasoning" towards the achievement of chosen hero
delusion.

Tanha: Lack of tranquility/strain (leads to bodily and neurological trauma)
Types -
Kama: Wanting Sensory stimulation which has positive euphoric association.
Bhava: Frustration about inventing one's identity in accordance to achievement of grandiose self
delusion.
Vibhava: Aversion to suffering. Produces suicidal living behaviors to addictively chase "irrational
euphoria which does not increase vitality."



Parinirvana:
Perfectly blissful DMT trip at death. Lack of suffering at dissolution of psyche. Is better with complete fulfillment of one's chosen heroic archetype because of VITAL adaptation from traumatic struggle, brain-engine recharging from meditation, and living without bodily tension/anxiety/depression.



Buddhism:


Sunyata: Man thinks categorically and incorrectly assumes his useful categorical tools are absolute representations of the world of causal entropy.

Moha: Dullness and delusion of consciousness potential. Intoxication/sedation of trauma.

Enlightenment: Sobriety from Moha. Creates optimum intuitive apprehension.

Means:
Accumulating cultural knowledge through reading and exposure.

Logical Analysis development and constant application as "exclusive representation of internal
willpower."

Meditation (recharging your brain-engine from overusing it). Stop fantasizing (these are part of your hero delusion). Think purely in terms of logical analysis or do not think at all. Exercise present mindfulness. Study philosophy/science/history/art/religion. Understand that you can "be a persona" while in this state. Rest after exertion against trauma.

Wu: Optimum intuitive apprehension is achieved with a euphorically believed mentalization of reality in accordance to LOGIC.




I would call this "personal divinity" as a life method.

What you call "logic" that the objective of life is to achieve self-actualisation is subjective. The human mind is capable of what Maslow calls higher self-fulfilment but in reality many humans allow their minds to slide into nihilism and living for self-gratification. Indeed many people construct their lives in order to gratify their urges and/or desires.

Smiles, Interestingly, Modern Neuroscience Suggests at core We all basically Hallucinate Our Reality Co-Creating
it; Never Really Separated From the Nature of Us or the Rest of Nature as what We Term as Past or Future
Is a Kind of Hallucination too; More Simply Put We All Live in Real Different Dream Worlds than each
Other; Otherwise, We Might Experience the Same reality; But Neuroscience makes it Clear
We All Color Our Realities Based on Feelings and Senses that Naturally Come First;
Where Abstract Constructs We Co-Create to Navigate those Feelings and Senses;
Or Not Core Reality; But the Tools, yes, the Words and this so-called
Logic that Never Really Overcomes the Shadow Beast; Yes, the
Oldest Evolutionary Developed Brains; the Reptile one For
Lust and Aggression and the Mammalian Limbic Brain
That Provides all the Warm And Fuzzy Attachments
In Life that Are Indeed a Kind of Mammal
Warmth We Share with other Mammary
Gland Feeding Mammals; Puppy Love
As they Say for Animal Feels the Similar
Oxytocin We Feel in Neurohormone Loving
Ways too as a Feral Cat; A Killing Machine Will
Be Turned into a Lap Cat; Day and Night instead
of a Savage Hunter that actually Kills for play to Keep
Its Hunting Skills Top Notch For Basic Survival; Smiles,
Logic is an Excellent Tool for Navigating Help for traveling
Reality Successful in all the Abstract Words We Create; but really
Logic is rather New on the Evolutionary Scale; this Shadow Brain;
This Love Brain; is at Core What Provides Enough Fearless Altruistic
Love to keep the
Species Surviving
And in Some Cases
Even Thriving; Really Science
is Just Catching Up to what Eastern
Philosophies in Free Verse Soul Felt;
Logic Jumping Sacred and Holy Text has
Intimated all along for Thousands of Years;
We are not our Thoughts; the Place We Believe
We LiVE iN (Pre-Frontal Cortex) Logic; A Tool Indeed;
A Mechanical One too;
But Not the Same
Living Breath
in Colors of
Free Emotions
And Senses that Keep
the Other Animals Moving Forward
in Innate, Instinctual, Intuitive Ease;
Not so Much, What We've Learned; What
We've Forgotten in terms of Living Balance;
Yes, In Balance With the Rest of Nature; and this
is a Measure of Human Empathy Affinity; Yes, Divinity
of Accepting All Dark Thru LiGHT as All Becomes Love this Way iNCaRNaTE
TO GIVE
AND
SHARE
FREE with
Least Harm;
Its Empathy Does for
Each Other and the Rest of
Nature too; Take away those
Feelings for the Rest of Nature;
Eventually Taking Away our
Very Life Potential
of LovinG iT ALL;
'Give me something
to Eat and Drink'; Love of
my Wife and About 3 Feet in
Sand And Sun and no Other Cultural
Clothes are Required to Have it all;
Simply to Be
Nature
Breathing
Free in the
Present Gift;
Hehe; Not unlike
the Center Balance of
An Eye of A Hurricane;
This is How Human's Do
Become Energizer Bunnies
In Terms of Energy that Doesn't
Run Out as indeed Autotelic Flow
in Whatever Meditation Comes Not
Only Regenerates Human Youth in
Every Way; But Really Provides A Stress
Free Fearless Way of Doing More; For True,
Stress and Fear and Other Con-Social Emotions
Take Our Living Youth Away; Remove that and
there really
is no
limit
We Will
'Logically'
'Think' of at least;
In other words, it's
difficult to put this in
Word; Almost Futile;
But an Excellent
Source of
writing
Free Verse
Meditation that
Inherently A Free Dance
of Life in Autotelic Effortless Flow too..
Where Doing 'It All' is relatively Easy;
For We Use much more of our 'Hidden Human
Potentials'; Mostly from the Pursuit of External Happiness..

I will try to phrase it even more literally:

Place two fingers on your right shoulder on the point of greatest strain. Refuse to breathe until the strain can be pushed down like butter while you cyclically breathe. Use this technique carefully to ease total body tension and restore optimum blood flow to the brain. Attempt to always breathe with relaxation of whole body as you go about daily living. You will naturally desire to walk with perfect posture.

Keep presence of mind while you do this. All fantasies and daydreams should be seen as "drugs." Focus instead on euphoria of regular blood flow to the brain without attempting to "get high with it." Instead try attempt to think logic while maintaining presence of mind. Ask "what is the thinking process of a godmind of reason who manipulates his environment with presence and ease?"

This sounds like a mindfulness relaxation technique, but what has it got to do with divinity?

It is the utilization of trauma induced classical conditioning to breath to reduce tension by default.

I'm saying that I think religion works like this. People "get into their heads" very early competing in the world and lose
"constant presence." This makes them start breathing incorrectly. Their spinal chord gets rigid and blood flow to the brain is diminished because of muscle tension. Eventually... a trauma induced correction is made in which one matures their stage of cognition. They make "faith" in order to "cope" with the reality that their previous way of mentalizing the world was "stupid." They grasp at culture for a an answer to the primal religious question. One cannot simply stop thinking about how to live forever euphorically, as an animal wishes to.

"God" as external from self is an archetypal icon to represent the opiate of a mind unproperly adapted who sees divinity as permanent euphoric seeking behavior. Affective empathy is the ultimate manifestation of an unshakable addiction, and heaven is often viewed as communion with warmth. It's literally a chase towards permanent doping, and this view lends itself towards "cattle-like" behavior. The traumatized mind can tolerate further trauma without intelligent resistance. It sees the world in terms of pure euphoric attraction/repulsion.

"Atheism" leads to anxiety and depression due to rumination of lack of fulfilment and death. Steady consumption of euphoria in its various formats is required. The mind sees life in "managed hedonistic" terms, and if the euphoric consumption is never abated, dark thinking and bodily pain slowly become strongly felt.

"Personal Divinity" is simply to understand the trauma response and "choose Logic" as an "inspiring, constant faith that one's biological organism is in accord with a world of causal entropy." Breathing properly for tension management and avoiding rumination will bring a mood stabilizer. One learns to "live again intelligently in the environment."

I realize it's anecdotal, but practicing the relaxation method has brought immense spinal relief.

Dance Then Sing...

i often Dance With a Small Hand Towel...

When All 246 Pounds of me Becomes the Weight
of the Towel in Total Balance, Friends With Gravity

Indeed
i become
Divine Just
ONE with Gravity...

Then escaping the Illusion
of the Pre-Frontal-Cortex; the Rest of my Mind
And Body As Science Now Shows Becomes 400
to 500 And More Percent Creative as i've
Simply Opened up my Human Potential
in Expanding Parts of my Mind and Body
That Are not Being Used Before; Now, of
Course, i am Describing it in a somewhat
Complex Autotelic Flow of Words;
But Still All it amounts
to is me;
all
of
me the
Weight
of A Hand Towel
Fully in Balance
One With Gravity;
indeed, Literally Divine
as Science Does show the
Ascendent Transcendent
Nature in Brain Scans
of Escaping the
'Wall'
Comfortably
Numb in the
"Pre-Frontal-
Cortex" in Illusions
of Time, Distance And
Space where in this other
Place none of that really exists,
Becoming Center Point Existence
in Balance Again; Just simply one with
Gravity as Planets Orbit Stars and Stars
Orbit the 'Calm' of the Black Hole Center Divine;
As Above, So Below, Within, Inside, Outside And
All Around When We Pattern Ourselves with Nature;
We Obviously
Become
Nature
and
understand,
indeed, our Nature
is 'this' little 3 Letter
Word some folks refer
to as 'God' that is much bigger
than one Dude; one Book, One
Page, and One Word as Big as 'ALLNoWLoVE';
Simply the Gravity That is No Gravity of Balance Now.

Who Knew it's as easy as dancing with a Gym Towel;

It's Highly unlikely that anyone but me does that at
a Military Gym, the Way i did before COVID-19 Closed
it down; But on the Other Hand, when i was there reaching
60 Years-Old; what i did do as a Feather Floating in the Wind
as i became the Weight of a Gym Towel in Total Autotelic Flow
One with the Balance of Gravity; as everyone else was doing their
Best to Pump some Iron; i floated right on over to the Leg Press Machine
And Pressed up to 1520 Pounds, 8 Reps in the Same Balance as a Feather in the
Wind; It's
Worth
noting
that no one
else Decades Younger
than me could budge it an inch;
True, when i put on 1340 Pounds
Pressing it slowly, 100 Seconds on
YouTube; one Person Commented they
Hoped the Weight Came Crashing Down
on me Killing Me; another Person who NO,
would never be able to budge it an inch, complained
that during the Entire 100 Seconds; and a very slow 12 Reps
That i only Moved it 90 Degrees; not Bringing the Weight to
my Chest, being Ignorant enough to Hurt my back for obviously
the Mechanics of that didn't have to Look Dangerous; my Body
Instinctually understood the Limits of Balance; But on the Other
Hand, after Public Dancing Now for 13,606 Miles in 84 Months
The Density of my Bones, Ligaments, and Tendons are
more Naturally Attuned to What Science now Shows
is Possible For Humans, spending a life moving
instead of Sitting Still; Literally Having
the Strength of an Orangutan;
It's Worth Noting they
only Work-Out
with their
Body
Weight
to achieve that;
True, 'the Feather in
the Wind' is No Longer
Domesticated and Clothed
With Lies away from What Humans
are Most Definitely Born with the Potential to do;

How do we
miss it NoW?

Simply, for every layer
of Cultural Clothes that
Removes us from the Intuition,
Instinct Innate that Makes more
Supernormal than Human Clothed
And very Limited Pre-Frontal-Cortex Machines instead
Of Relative Dreamtime of Reality that is No Time at all...

Smiles, true, some folks live a very 'Black and White
Mechanical World'; Others Fly with Colors in Balance

Never Recognized
by still others to
even exist at all...

Mileage of Course Varies Now,
by Make and Model of Human
Being; the real Magic is in the
Epigenetics of Change that may Be
Achieved For More Human Potential
at Almost Any Age; as other Case-Studies
in Humanity already Prove without a Shadow of a Doubt...

But Not the Average, who do not seek and find a way within

to
escape
'the Cage';

Other Metaphors
include 'the Matrix'
And Such as that
but when one
arrives in
Balance
With Gravity ONE
with so-called GOD this
Way as Dancing Singing Verb;
Well, the Reality Simply becomes All

in

Balance;

Peace and

Harmony with

Colors other 'Rainbows'

are Yet to ever see Now...

Before i Transformed

to a Feather

Dancing

As the Wind In Terms of

The End of the 'Forrest Gump'

Movie too as He was blessed without

So Much Pre-Frontal-Neo-Cortex Prison

As Other People Not So Cursed Like me

Born with Highest IQ's Measured from

Middle School; College Level

indeed but missing

So Much More

Than Tied

to a Desk

Sitting Still; i never

Realized it was the Equivalent

of Jabbing myself in the eye with a Pencil;

until some 40 Years Later at 53 since the age of 13...
Live and

Learn

And

ReMeMBeR

Who We Really Are

or not; Life is really

As simple and complex

As a Dance And Song of Verb simply All in Balance Now..

Just Dancing A Tight Rope More Complex Always in the Sweet

Spot of

Colors Outside

of Black And White

Apathy and the Anxiety

And Fear that Leads to

Real Human Hell

Within;

i Just Described

What it's Like to be

God in Heaven; sadly

Other folks still look for it

after a dirt nap and in a Dude that

is only a Story in A Book; Sadly,

they never

Write, Direct,
Produce, and
Become their own
Play; Their Own Story of All/God/LoVE iN Deed...

There are As Many Plays And Stories to relate this
as there are the Number of God Eyes Now ranging
in places related as Metaphors of Hell of Black Abyss
Soul to Purgatory Grey Shades of Soul to Beyond

Rainbow

Colors

of Heaven

Within the Residence

of Heaven i Smile Co-Creating for Real Now ALL

from only my Eyes of God Now only True really for my Eyes only...

But True i do my Best to Give and Share my View for 'Your Eyes only too', who ever reads these words next...

It's almost

Impossible

To Go NoW

Until one Arrives;

And i surely will not be

the first or Last to relate

This to Others yet to Arrive too;

to be clearly of course i don't feel

and sense you Well Enough to Feel and


Sense Where You Are; typically when i look

in the Windows of Someone's Soul i tend to 'See' Where they

Are; Seeing Souls Has Always Been My Autistic Super Normal Savant Skill

But it's Termed

Opposite of

What it is

True Art

of Artistic Soul Seeing...

i've only Recently Learned

How to Cover myself with

Light to Escape the Dark of Other Souls...

in Other Words, the Empathic 'Super' Sensory and

Affective Empathy of Human Sensitivity to all of the all We 'See', more particularly me (my eyes only)..

From my perception, this is a strange thread. But since you experienced trauma and it affects your life, then I would suggest that you increase your knowledge on how the human brain deals with trauma. There is a good book In An Unspoken Voice by Peter A. Levine that provides quit a bit of insight.

Stress is chemical in nature. A threat will cause a person to release a cascade of hormones and other chemicals that unless used are stored in the muscles and nerves. This accumulated stress energy can build up until it transforms into distress, such as trauma. So the goal to resolve trauma is to vent this stress energy.

I never found meditation to be an optimal way to release this stress energy.
-------------------
In Eastern Religions, they talk about a state called Nirvana. Nirvana literally means, "cool" or "to extinguish", and it is a state where suffering has been "extinguished." Or said another way, the flames of desire have been cooled. In short, it is a state of the ultimate freedom - freedom from sorrow, but also freedom from happiness. It is a state of consciousness, which is above all others. In ancient Sanskrit, the three syllables (nir+var+na) actually had multiple meanings themselves, so when you combine them, they could be translated different ways, such as "To be free from entangled roots," or "To escape from the woven web." Nirvana is a transcendent reality. It is a state of profound peace and great wisdom.

So one of the Stepping-Stones to Nirvana is actually described above as “a state of the ultimate freedom - freedom from sorrow, but also freedom from happiness”. I have developed this trait and coined the phrase, “the Spock Anomaly” to describe it. It is a form of mild brain disassociation (in some ways similar to daydreaming). Under stress, I have the ability to separate the emotional part and the analytical part of my outer brain (the social brain) and completely turn off the emotional side of my brain. As a result I no longer feel emotions. I don’t feel fear, hatred, anger, distress, and anxiety. All emotions cease to affect me. It is “freedom from sorrow and freedom from happiness”. It is “to be free from entangled roots”. Then I spin up my analytical brain and resolve the stressor.

This ability did not come about through meditation, but rather from developing my imagination and daydreaming. One cannot experience trauma if one cannot feel the effects of stress emotionally.

I have been thinking on this subject, and my best answer is to synthesize the "spiritual philosophies" of Indian, Greek, and Sinese culture. It is a crude categorization to begin thinking of "vital existence."

Pure meditative existence is dissatisfying because you are not living "in accordance to reason." What does a Greek analytical view of "the nature of man's capacity for reason" tell us? It is an evolution against the traumatic struggle of a world trying to extinguish your stable, lengthy vitality.

Sinese philosophy is informing one as to both a state of total internal fantasy (taoism) and the management of one's public "face." Studying Chinese explorations of "face" is fascinating and is the best means of wielding "hierarchical social intelligence." Perhaps taoist practice is the achievement of "pure creativity" in a focused "fantastical delusioning" of reality as an act of creative pleasure. If one applies Indian philosophy as to the nature of "internal fantasy" perhaps the focused practice of Daoism when fantastical release is "cathartically required" helps to inform oneself as to the nature of your optimum "chosen heroic struggle."

Perhaps best living in accordance to reason goes technically like this:

"Classically condition oneself to breathe to constantly reduce strain. Attempt not to ruminate and instead figure how to learn and function without breaking presence. Apply dissociative fantasy selectively in states of total spinal relaxation with awareness of heroic delusion in attempt to know one's path in life in accordance with one's interests and motivations. Use one's public manifestation of persona with knowledge of addictive quality of affective empathy in order to wield emotional power. Understand that one is genetically hardwired for both competitive survival and for justice aka a reasoned concern for the welfare of selected group identity. This is because the human animal could not function in groups otherwise. Failure to realize ambition in conjunction with justice will cause dysphoria over time."

Put more obviously: Figure out who you want to be in life. Fight zealously against the odds with as little strain as possible by classical conditioning of body and mind for presence and ease. Use logical analysis to overcome the trauma of self achievement by efficient planning and execution of actions. Rest with relaxed fantasy if life method fails to bring satisfaction.

Greatness comes with optimum application of reason as to one's biological organism, its environmental reaction, and understanding of "why man reasons at all."

It just seems from my perspective that you are trying to wrap too many things together. Stress can produce panic attacks and deep breathing can help a person end a panic attack.

Our lungs take in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. The shortness of breath that occurs during panic attacks and anxiety is often caused by a change in your normal breathing pattern. Typically, we are not conscious of our breathing. When panic and anxiety occur, our breathing may become more shallow and restricted. Instead of filling the lungs with full, complete breaths, we take in quick short breaths.

Both panic and stress researchers have examined the fleeting effects of the increased carbon dioxide levels. Elevated levels produce breathlessness, dizziness, and minor anxiety in most participants and panic attacks in those with or at risk for panic disorder.

Research into panic attacks showed that: Notably, the researchers found that patients' carbon dioxide, or CO2, levels (using a portable capnometer to measure CO2 collected from exhaled breath) were in an abnormally low range, indicating the patients were chronically hyperventilating. These levels rose significantly shortly before panic onset and correlated with reports of anxiety, fear of dying and chest pain.

One technique for controlling panic is to implement deep breathing techniques. Force the body to take very deep slow breathes and vent the carbon dioxide buried deep within the lungs. Deep diaphragmatic breathing can be performed as follows:
1. Take a long, slow breath in through your nose, first filling your lower lungs, then your upper lungs.
2. Hold your breath to the count of "three."
3. Exhale slowly through pursed lips, while you relax the muscles in your face, jaw, shoulders, and stomach.

So although deep breathing can help to control a panic attack, it does not really vent the stress energy. It still remains.

From my perception there are two major choices in life. You can live as a conformist and let society OWN you, control you and you can suffer greatly as a result. The other choice is to become a non-conformist and own yourself. Most of the world flows in conformity. But some do escape and leave the herd and walk on their own two feet. These are some quotes about non-conformists:

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. – Rob Siltanen: Apple, "Think Different" campaign

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed. - Albert Einstein

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain

Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road. - Voltaire

Not all those who wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkien

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A "normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray." - Alan Sherman

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. - Friedrich Nietzsche

The average man is a conformist, accepting miseries and disasters with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain. - Colin Wilson

Freedom began on the day the first sheep wandered away from the herd. ― Marty Rubin