why did he do it??

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In capacity of attorney-at-law representing the defendant - my client Proto-Amphibian (henceforth known as "PA) - I would like to inform the Court that my client is willing to settle this matter amicably.

PA is thus willing to - in writing and under oath - to provide a full explanation for the motives surrounding PA's departure on March 21st, 09:44 AM, 36,541,034 BC from the Ocean (henceforth known as the "Event").

PA's offer is contingent on the Prosecution dropping all current, past and future charges - with prejudice - concerning said Event involving PA. Any originals of aforementioned compromising photos involving PA and the Event are also to be returned to PA and all copies are to be destroyed.

- Gerhard Günther Petsch Giftschlange, JD

Well it has an immigration lawyer now.We better build a wall to keep more from coming ashore.

Looking for a pan of meal to roll around in and when it’s well breaded jumps in a vat of cooking oil.

She left because she was socially awkward and didn’t feel like she belonged. She was bullied and had trouble making friends. She was pretty damn smart and took the next logical step - even if it was another “planet“.

This is absolutely the cleverest, wittiest, gosh darn funniest thread on WP!!
Y’all are terrific!! !

More, please?