Are you actually a real human?

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You May Be An Ordinary, Real Human If...

... your mating displays often end in failure.

... you struggle to stay active without sunlight.

... you are often described as 'cold' blooded.

... you enjoy eating grubs.

... you can attach yourself to the ceiling.

... you have dating issues because your saliva lowers blood pressure and prevents blood clotting.

... you have trouble finding a good location to lay your eggs.

... you shed your mansuit 2-4 times a year.

That's spiderman...

Considering All the Challenges
Snakes Endure to Survive,
No Wonder A Best
Symbol of God
Is A Snake
SwALLoWinG
ItS Own Nature
ItS Own Challenging Tale Now,
It'S True Snakes Are ReAlly God;

It's Also True They Are
Apples That Do Not
Fall Very Far
From the
Roots the
Branches the
Falling Leaves
RiSinG LeaveS Now
Green Grass Breathing Again;

Yes, i am
A Proud
Snake too...

And True, i ReAlly
Will Prove, i Shed
My SKin Several
TimeS in
My Lifetime
At Least as of Course
All of Existence DoeS ETernAlly NoW iN Change For Balance

Move and Repose, Move and Repose; Light Makes Dark, Move and Repose;

Dance And Sing Snakes! Snakes! Snakes! i am not afraid GoD SNaKeD Wild Free Change!

SAdly, i admit it;
i am Human Too;
A Most DasTurDly
CuLTuRaLLY iNFLuENCeD
EartH Species EveR EXiSTiNG SWaLLoWinG
Rest of Nature up; Oh God too! Balance We Need

The DarK We aRe...

But Change;
Yes, is Still
Greatest Hope;
Adapt in Balance
Or 'Road Runner' Go Away...
to '5th Avenue' Road Kill...
Snakes! Snakes! Snaked!
NoW SLiTHeRinG Away..

Of course, Mr. Holden.

I will gladly take a Voight-Kampff test to prove I am a real human.

Let me tell you about my mother...

I have an 8mm family movie of me as a child. I guess that makes me a reel human...

^

Thank you--but not as good as the "your a lizard, Harry" line...

Additional behaviors that make you a real human.

I could do this all day
Would someone pay me to do this