Political Correctness...

Post Reply New Topic

I understand the concept of political correctness...

But on an Asperger's group someone for some reason asked if aspies can have sex...

I replied we have the same desires as everyone else, and I got pounded by someone saying my comment wasn't sensitive to asexuals...

Should I have worded my response differently or was this person taking political correctness too far?

Just want some opinions...

You ran into one of the many people on the internet who have too much free time and like arguing with people over benign things. There's definitely nothing wrong with what you said.

As an asexual, I disagree with that statement. I don't have the same desires as everyone else, but nor do you have to specifically include us in your statement for fear of angering us. Your original statement may be a bit blankety, but hey, a lot of statements like that are. It's just what we do.

It would only make sense for them to come up with that if the autistic spectrum has orders of magnitude more asexuals and that it's common knowledge. If that's not the case, to say that we're 'like anyone else' means that our heuristics and demographics on sexuality are like anyone else.

Yup. Techstep is right - "everyone else" includes asexuals, demisexuals, hypersexuals etc. I.e., ASD is not one of these. They're independent variables.

Was this on Facebook? I thought it was a stupid question because why wouldn't they have sex?

I couldn't find your comment so maybe this was in a different group where someone asked this same question or I missed the comment.

Well, a safe way to say it would have been "we have the same desires as majority of people", but honestly, if you got attacked (I say "if" because I'm not sure of the meaning of the word "pounded" in this context is) for what you said, then the person did take political correctness too far. If the person just pointed out that there are exceptions like asexuals and that he/she/they/whatever got a little hurt by it, then that's all good, but if they made a fuss about it, then I'd say it's their shame.

Then again, guess I understand that person a little too. It sometimes annoys me when people talk about how old people often have high medical bills because it makes it sound like they don't acknowledge the fact that disabled young people can have high medical bills, too. So, maybe the safest thing to do would be to never generalize anything without starting with "there are exceptions, but..."

While “if you have met one aspie you have met one aspie” line would have been better the criticism did go too far. While it is always a good thing to be courteous, with so many sexualities, orientations, and other differences no matter what you say you are bound to overlook someone. If one tries too hard not to offend one becomes tense and often is more likely to offend.

As a small minority those of us on the spectrum will often be overlooked. While these things do need to be called out looking for these things, obsessing over these things prevents us from being the best autistic we can be and creates negative thought loops that makes our lives miserable because we are letting NT’s define us. “Pick and choose your battles” is a cliche but there is a lot of truth in it. When a quiet people do speak out they have a better chance of being listened to because unique situations draw attention.

OK I'm massively SJW etc and I see nothing wrong with this.

Maybe it was an autistic thing...

Maybe say 'some' in future?

Some people, myself included at times, will read 'autistic people...' as 'all autistic people'.

Well, if we did not have sex, how else did we get here? Autism is to some degree genetic. There is really only one way to remain in the gene pool...

As far as the asexual response, it could just be a person that feels marginalized. I would not take it personally, but feel sorry for the person that feels isolated. It is not a reflection on your comment.

There is the “asexuality spectrum,” too.

I know of people who have sexual desires.....but do not desire to act upon them with another person for various reasons. The desire exists....but might not be focused on specific people, or people at all. It might be an amorphous desire.

I’m a horny guy who really had to get used to kissing and being kissed by girls and women. I would have been on the “asexuality spectrum” at the age of 15. I was sort of turned off by physical contact, though I had sexual feelings. Probably “asexual, but not aromantic.”

Asexuals can have sex too or how else have any have had kids?

Some even enjoy sex as well. It's also a spectrum and there is a misconcept that asexuals don't have any fetishes or don't masturbate. I am sure there are people out there that are asexual and don't even realize it. If you lack sexual desires for sex, you maybe are one and there is also gray-a.

I also do not think being a celibate is the same thing as being asexual. Most of the time choosing to not act on sex is a religion thing. Like don't have sex till you are married, wait until you are with the right person for it. And sometimes this is just a personal choice and sometimes personal choices stem from their religion background even if they themselves are not religious. If you grew up with religion, you may have some ideologies that came from it even if you don't practice that religion anymore or because you took what your mom told you too literal like maybe she told you you shouldn't have sex will marriage when her intent was she didn't want you to have underage sex because she knew you were not emotionally mature enough to have it with another kids your age. But because you are an aspie, you take this too literal and follow this rule like a bible so you still don't have it as an adult.

I would guess that this particular person has had bad experiences with being given a hard time by various people over being asexual.

In any case, while you're not a bad person for phrasing it the way you did, it would have been more accurate to say, "autistic people have the same range of sexualities as other people, although we are slightly more likely to differ from the majority in one way or another."

It is not all about people wanting to be heard, but also about wanting people to listen.

Of course aspies have sex. Look at the great members here who have become parents over the years.