Gaslighting is overused

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Gaslighting is an overused term. Simply lying is not gaslighting; gaslighting is a systematic strategy to get people to ignore the evidence of their eyes and ears in favor of the version of events presented by the abuser.

Here are the tactics of gaslighting, all of which must be present for it to be gaslighting:

REJECT - Deny or reject the accuser's version of events.
DIMINISH - Marginalize or reduce the accuser's claim. You're admitting that it happened, but not to the degree that you think that it did.
ALTERNATIVE - Offer an alternative example that is much bigger or much worse than what they're claiming, thus further diminishing their claim.
BLAME - Accuse the accuser of bias or of being the cause of the event.
ASSURE - Reassure the accuser that your version of events is the correct one by using a statement they should already accept.

I agree, but make no mistake about it. Americans are being gaslighted by both Trump AND the press!

Exxxxxactyl!

I somehow doubt that formula has only been used by trump supporters.

I agree. Im finally starting to realize that.

I'd actually take this in maybe a different direction - it's so pervasive and constant, and so many people try to pull this sort of flip on the people around them, that it's like conveying to a fish that it's in water. I mean, think back to being in grade school or high school and who was setting the social barometer, deciding who was cool and who wasn't, and how often the people who were very much 'on the out' had some capacities that deeply embarrassed them. Gaslighting is so woven into the fundamental way that people do things that most people, especially those not directly effected, seem to just put on a glib face, ignore that it's happening, maybe it's that they're intimidated by the people who dish it out or could be a much more subconscious filter - who knows.

Even beyond bullying and surviving it as many people trying to drag me deep out into astroturf and drown me in a reality of their own making, what's way worse is that it's not like our culture or the way our technologies are interacting with our culture can go on much longer without serious catastrophe. To that degree when we're trying to hash out serious existential issues and trying to think about how to solve the problems we need to solve we have people doing the equivalent of popping rohypnol in the water and that's especially an easy tactic when such a significant majority seem to make decisions on their voting, on their beliefs, or much of anything else based on whatever they've sniffed out in the air to be a popular opinion.

I don't believe the much maligned mainstream press is gaslighting the country - - for the most part. But I do believe the populist right certainly is.

I have personally experienced gaslighting all of my life. From my mother who gaslighted me, saying I was the problem for being beaten daily by a sociopathic/narcisstic brother because I was 'weak' & told me to fight back, even though I had Autism and fighting back caused me great sensory pain, to me then being gaslighted by doctors for over a decade regarding vaccine-induced brain damage (I proved it to them by getting MRI images that were conveniently witheld from me, which showed brain swelling/encephalitis).

And then by someone who accused me of something I did not do, presenting an entirely false narrative and then claiming she was hallucinating about the whole thing (the lies) - afterwards?

She was extremely clever. I had a single friend in the online group I was a part of who had been gaslighted by her mother & could see through the abusers lies and the abuser targeted that person as an outcast for the group, alongside myself.

Which brings me onto the mainstream media - they are indeed gaslighting everyone & it is not limited to partisan politics. They put a bit of truth into each side's tribal representation of what is perceived, play those people off against each other, whilst meanwhile enabling each side to play into the hands of the puppet-string holders.

Anyone who subscribes to partisan politics is being gaslighted every day.

Good article.

https://lonerwolf.com/gaslighting/

Yes I've heard the term used when it's nothing of the kind. I think it's one of those snazzy words that people like to say even though they haven't looked up the meaning. And some people use it on their opponents just for something else to throw at them. Its original use was to describe the process of fooling somebody into doubting their own sanity.

The term's abuse is well-documented.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighti ... ighting%22

I think the problem is, there is no other word to use when it's not actual gaslighting.

I see this word being tossed around like I do with the word abuse and the word bully.

I find many words are overused on the internet. Before, when something was described as "toxic," I might have taken notice. Now, "toxic" is used to frequently so describe so many things, I see it and my brain turns off.

Last edited by vividgroovy on 25 Dec 2021, 4:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

I agree. The overuse of any word has always bothered me, and gaslighting and toxic are definitely two. Another is iconic. Everything seems to be iconic these days, though if all these things are so special then none of them seems very special, invalidating the word iconic.

Another one that annoys me is when people say something like, "Remember when [such and such] was a thing." Why not say a reality, a custom, an occurrence, etc.? Why sound like you have no vocabulary??

Last edited by HighLlama on 25 Dec 2021, 3:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

They could just say the person is lying, but I think that doesn't sound as threatening, so they overuse gaslighting. It's like the overuse of the word narrative. You could say people are just believing a story, but if you say narrative, it sounds more technical and sophisticated, so people will probably take you more seriously.

Yes, take this guy for example:







Whoops. I guess I'm guilty too.