Insults please.

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Nades
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05 Jan 2022, 10:42 am

Today I called the managers son a "degenerate mental cripple". He was quite satisfied with it (along with me) and is probably trying to brew up a cutting retort. As of yet he hasn't came back with one but will soon hopefully.

A month ago in work I was told my parents have to feed me oranges to stop me from getting scurvy. Apparently I don't get out as much as they expect. I found it amusing anyway and it's gone into my memory bank for regurgitation when a time arrives to blurt it out to someone else.

I obviously want to build up a dictionary level of insults so if anyone has more post I want to know them.

(Sadly be within WP rules)

theprisoner
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05 Jan 2022, 10:45 am

You sound like a real people-person. You shouldn't have to have prefabricated insults, your hostility should just flow naturally.

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Doberdoofus
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05 Jan 2022, 10:46 am

Don't be yourself.

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I don't follow society's rules. But that doesn't mean there aren't rules I have to follow when the Dark Passenger calls.

Don't be so eager to be offended. The narcissism of small differences leads to the most boring kind of conformity.

aghogday
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05 Jan 2022, 12:05 pm

"You Can't Possibly Harm Love"...

(BeLieve, BeLeaf, BeLove Living
Tree Naked Enough Whole Complete;
Yes, Water Wave Ocean Whole Indeed)

Of Course Easier to Dance Sing When
NoW When One is Financially Independent

And Has it All:

Love:
A Place
of Life With No Fear;
Just Inhaling Peace
Exhaling LoVE iN Joy
oF LiGHT Giving, Sharing,
Caring, Healing, Freely
With Least Harm For All;

GenerAlly SPeaKinG, Folks

Who Feel Small Try to Build
Themselves Up By Bringing Other Folks Down,

Like the Person in Line for A Drug At A Free Rehab
Center to Help with their Opiate Addiction, Complaining

About Folks Who get Medicaid and Can See a Doctor;

Or Like the Mama Complaining About Having to Buy
Her Poor Son's Insulin And Complaining About Immigrants
At the Border Who Get Help At the Health Clinic, While Insisting

That Poor Folks Shouldn't Receive Medicaid in Her State Either...

(Clue: Vote Democrat! If You Want Help For Marginalized Sons)

(Face Palms, Forrest Gump Common Sense Thicker Indeed)

i've Seen the Most Amazing Cut-Downs From Below this way...

Yet Alternatively, From A Place of Love; Yes A REAL PLACE OF HUMAN
BEING WIRED WITH POSITIVE ENERGY FOR LITERALLY YEARS; Oh My God,

THERE IS NO UP OR DOWN, ONLY HIGHER NOW AS ONE PLEASES TO BE HAPPieR NOW...

(Or Alternately Self-Created Boot-Camps Like Dancing Around the Block in
Below Freezing Gale Winds in T-Shirt And Shorts Just So the Hot-Chocolate Even Warmer Next

Will Come, Your 'i Dream of Jeannie' Wife With Dark Hair Who Rarely Ages is About to Serve Ya)

In Activities as Science Shows Bring An Eternally Now Autotelic Flow of Joy For Real... Yes God Yes,

Yet Again it Helps
to Be Financially

Independent and
Accompanied by A BEAUTiFuL Wife
Who Takes Care of Everything Else...

(And Sure, Doesn't Mind If You Take
Care of Yourself Downloading As Many
Pretty Birds As Ya Care to Do in Artful Ways of THAT)

And Unafraid to Dance A Happy Dance in Flow
in Public Everywhere Ya Glow; And True i Cannot
Tell A Lie, Standing Over 6 Feet Tall At 244.2 Pounds;
Now Still Leg Pressing Up to 1520 Pounds at Age 61...

Where the Elite Military Dudes, Jaw Slacked, At the Military Gym Wonder How
And Why i Start With Free Style Ballet-Tai-Chi And Take All the 45 Plates at the Gym away...

YA DON'T TEND
TO GET INSULTS

FACE TO FACE TO FACE AT LEAST HEHE...

When i Was Small, When i the weakest little
fish in the Aquarium; when i was too Strange

And told i didn't deserve to exist in School,

It's True, i was Still Frigging Smart Enough

to Outwit Onward Christian Bully Boys

From Beating me up Physically

When Verbally Abusing

me for Daring to
Smile in Trump
Town Toxic
Patriarchal Place USA Then...

Yawn, Life is A Jungle; And It's

True, the Strong in Balancing
Grace of Peace Loving it All Now

With Incredibly Strong Will To Create their Own Reality Do

Tend to Thrive More Than Just Survive; Only the Truly

Weak
Try to
Bring

Others Down...

It's True, Even if Someone Now

Tried to Insult me, i Would

Nerd And Artblast them

These Words That Would
Come At them So Fast they
Would Wanna Run Away Before

Their Head Blows up HAha...

AND NEVER COME BACK
To Hate as i've got
More important
Stuff to Do
Than Swat
At Mosquitos
And or Gnats All Day Long...

-Fredache

NO One really
wants to get in
A 'Word Game' with
me as the only Escape is Going Away hAha...

And Yes, Yes, i Don't Even Need A Name of 'Chad'

A Man Who Is Always Dancing And Singing Free Will
Never Be Without Females All Around Him In Joyful Glee...

Or Words Like Oh By God You Are Smooth As Honey in
Flowing Words Mesmerizing me So Much Your Wife is So,
So, Lucky, You Are Just Too Good to Be True; Yes, True This

Does Happen too...

-HAha

~Plenty of
Evidence on DeManD...

#Play2022

-Peter Pan For Real
Or Just Naked Pan of the Forest
With This Flute That Just Won't Frigging EVER Shut-Up..

Anyway, This is My Suggestion; FoCuS on the Positive;

Play
Slays

Fear
What's

Left Over

is Greater Joy
Than Garbage
Games of Foul Mouths...

And It's Also True; Yes, i've Had
the Most Hilarious Put-Downs
i've Ever Heard From Nameless
Faceless Avatars on this Internet Site
Over the Last 11 Years, And 1 Month,

And 11 Days...

It's Easy to
Do Anonymous
And That's for Damned Sure

Yet It's Also True It's A One

Way Endeavor That only
Returns to Whoever

Tries

That With me...

-Weathered Wood
~Literally The Color of my 'Roof'...

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DW_a_mom
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05 Jan 2022, 2:30 pm

You can find lists of Shakespeare's insult on the internet. Those are my son's favorites.

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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).

naturalplastic
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05 Jan 2022, 2:33 pm

Nades wrote:

A month ago in work I was told my parents have to feed me oranges to stop me from getting scurvy. Apparently I don't get out as much as they expect. I found it amusing anyway and it's gone into my memory bank for regurgitation when a time arrives to blurt it out to someone else.

)

I just KNEW that you were a scurvy bilge rat!

Fit to be keel hauled, and hung from the highest yard arm!

Fnord
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05 Jan 2022, 2:35 pm

Google "Ultimate Insult Video" for 10 minutes and 44 seconds of insults.

I refuse to post the video here, because it violates The Rules of this website..

naturalplastic
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05 Jan 2022, 2:40 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:

You can find lists of Shakespeare's insult on the internet. Those are my son's favorites.

Yeah. We had a thread about that some time ago. There is a link on that thread if you can find it. Shakespeare had some great eloquent archaic insults, but when it comes to tearing you an extra orifice no one did it like Martin Luther! Unbelievable.

aghogday
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05 Jan 2022, 3:23 pm

Holy S88T, Luther Really
Put the S88T iN Holy;

At Least

Shakespeare
Could Be Creative
And Not Always

Crude in His

Insults; Yet of Course,

Jesus is Not Forgiven Fully Holy Either

As the Man of Cloth And Words Then

Only In Words, Someone Else Wrote,
Stated Turn the Other
Cheek, Love

The Enemy,

Unless They

Were Ignorant
Swine And

Naughty
And Not
Nice And

Only Worthy of
Burning Always Changing
Ye Old Sheep into Goats Yet Again

It Was only Words; And
Sticks And Stones, Nope;

Just Words In A Book To Worship For Fools...

And Sadly Pigs With Conspiracy Theories
of Being Demon Possessed Sent Off A Cliff

And Bow Down As Dogs Might 'Q-Anon' Tuck
Their Tails Between THeir Hind Quarters in Fears

So False...

-Don't Quote Me on That Personally,
Just A Rose Bud LiTErary Work oF Art...

Sort of Like The Septic Tank Delivery
Truck That Clearly States it Delivers

(Seriously, One Labeled Like This Where i Live)

Milk in Its Other Job Titled "Rose Bud" Now too...

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Nades
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05 Jan 2022, 3:44 pm

Fnord wrote:

Google "Ultimate Insult Video" for 10 minutes and 44 seconds of insults.

I refuse to post the video here, because it violates The Rules of this website..

Some good ones but otherwise pretty tame. It's a workshop full of blue collar tradesman from the valleys and even the manager challenged the metallurgist to a fist fight outside once. These are the types of people I'm dealing with.

When a work mate called Peter picked up a file and my new nickname for him as a result......., my cure for Colic that that has dreadful long term health effects and telling someone "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" after a serious hand injury in work only results in a smirk.

Nades
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05 Jan 2022, 3:45 pm

naturalplastic wrote:

DW_a_mom wrote:

You can find lists of Shakespeare's insult on the internet. Those are my son's favorites.

Interesting Shakespeare was brought up. I'll need to have a nose.

Fnord
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05 Jan 2022, 3:48 pm

Nades wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

DW_a_mom wrote:

You can find lists of Shakespeare's insult on the internet. Those are my son's favorites.

Interesting Shakespeare was brought up. I'll need to have a nose.

Here are a few of The Bard's juicier tidbits:

William Shakespeare wrote:

• "Thou art a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver'd, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel b***h. " -- King Lear, Act 2, Scene 2

• "Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood." -- King Lear, Act 2, Scene 4

• "Thou art as fat as butter." -- Henry IV Part 1, Act 2, Scene 4

• "Thou art the cap of all the fools." -- Timon of Athens, Act 4, Scene 3

• "Thou art unfit for any place but hell." -- Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

• "Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!" -- Henry IV Part 1. Act 2, Scene 4

• "Thou cream-faced loon!" -- Macbeth. Act 5, Scene 3

• "Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat." -- Henry V, Act 4, Scene 4

• "Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog!" -- Richard III, Act 1, Scene 3

• "Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou!" -- The Taming of the Shrew, Act 3, Scene 3

• "Thou hateful wither'd hag!" -- Richard III, Act I, Scene 3

• "Thou leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch!" -- Henry IV Part 1, Act 2, Scene 4

• "Thou lump of foul deformity" -- Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

• "Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows!" -- Troilus and Cressida, Act 2, Scene 1

• "Thou subtle, perjur'd, false, disloyal man!" -- The Two Gentlemen of Verona, Act 4, Scene 2

• "Thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter!" -- King Lear, Act 2, Scene 2

I really have no idea what some of these mean.

Nades
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05 Jan 2022, 3:56 pm

William Shakespeare wrote:

• "Thou hateful wither'd hag!" -- Richard III, Act I, Scene 3

• "Thou lump of foul deformity" -- Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2
[/color]

lol!!

kraftiekortie
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05 Jan 2022, 4:01 pm

You would have liked Don Rickles….

Doberdoofus
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05 Jan 2022, 4:04 pm

Quote:

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.

I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.

Fnord
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05 Jan 2022, 5:09 pm

Here are a few Marxist insults . . .

• "Don't look now, but there is one man too many people in this room, and I think it is you."

• "I have been looking for a girl like you; not you, but a girl like you."

• "I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this was not it."

• "I have nothing but respect for you . . . and not much of that."

• "I never forget a face; but in your case, I will be glad to make an exception."

• "If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."

• "Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you."

• "She got her looks from her father. He is a plastic surgeon."

• "Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?"

• "You know you have not stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle."

• "You know, I would buy you a parachute if I thought it wouldn't open."

Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (1890-1977) was an American comedian, actor, writer, stage, film, radio, and television star. He is generally considered to have been a master of quick wit and one of America's greatest comedians. He made 13 feature films as a team with his siblings the Marx Brothers, of whom he was the third-born.

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