Organ Donation

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I'm not sure if this is the right category but "Organ Donation" didn't sound like a very romantic title so I didn't want to put it in L&D. Also this deals with ethics so I thought PPR might be a good place for it.

My partner found my organ donor card and kicked up a fuss about it. She said she wants to be buried next to my body. Next to my whole and complete body. She said she didn't want to be buried next to me if I'm missing my eyes or kidneys.

I don't really give a toss we're she's buried but she has this romantic notion that we'll have his and hers graves. I tried to explain that after a few weeks my eyes would have completely rotted away anyway but she didn't listen.

But I've still got the card, right? It's still my choice, right? Well...

I'm worried that after I die she'll overrule what the card says. Doctors take requests to "don't do that thing" pretty seriously except when I'm dead the request not to do that thing will be coming from the living.

The doctors might be afraid of getting sued by her so they'll burry my organs in the ground rather than letting them save lives.

I realise there's a good chance that I won't be able to donate my organs due to natural circumstances. Maybe by the time they find my body it will be too rotten to be of any use. But just in case I die on the operating table and the doctors have access to a totally fresh corpse I want to save as many lives as I can.

The idea of losing bodily autonomy because some next of kin gets to overrule me really bothers me. I should get to decide what happens to my remains, not her.

Have you registered with the national service?I’m not sure if a family member can overrule it.Maybe get a living will drawn up.
https://www.organdonor.gov/sign-up
You can do so with the health app on your smart phone.
I will be a donor when the time comes and both my kids are also registered.
It always surprises me when people kick up a fuss about it.I won’t be needing them anymore but someone will.

if you die in a hospital and they do a routine post-mortem section, they'll take everything apart and not put it back together neatly.
Just saying.

I mean, they don't randomly throw away stuff, but they do take out the brain and the internal organs and they don't try to fiddle the brain back into the skull, there's enough room in an opened stomach to put it there.
(had a friend who was in med school and worked in the pathology department in summer).

Get a Medical Power of Attorney (POA) and have it notarised. You can choose someone to make medical decisions on your behalf in terms of life support, end of life care, and even organ donation or funeral wishes. You don't have to name your wife as that person. I know she likely wouldn't appreciate that, but hell ... you'll be dead. Maybe there's someone in your own family you can name, or I believe some people even leave it without a person named choosing instead to authorise doctors' discretion / your written instructions. Doctors, hospitals, and morgues are bound to follow your POA.

Deciding to be an organ donor is a very personal decision and I commend you for considering it and doing what you feel is the right thing to do for you.
With the exception of corneas, organ donation (in Australia) is only possible in a person suffering brain death with otherwise normal circulatory function such as being in ICU.

Cornea harvesting is possible for up to 24 hours after death and they are still viable.

Unfortunately under Australian law the next of kin has to consent to or deny organ donation, even if you have registered for organ donation.

This is why it's important to discuss with your family your wishes regarding organ donation, along with being a registered donor. Speaking with your family is also a good opportunity to discuss with your family your wishes in the event you pass away. Important information to speak with them with, amongst others is:

Where is your will located? Solicitor's office, state trustee or lodged with another party?
Have you prepaid your funeral and which firm is it with?
Do you want a public funeral service or one that isn't publicised and limited to invited family/friends only?
What are your wishes for your funeral? Readings? Music? Someone presenting a eulogy? None of these things?
Any requests as far as things to do or not to do when you pass away?
Any particular religious observances you want carried out?
Do you want to be buried or cremated?
Where do you want to be buried or your ashes scattered?

The more information you can give your loved ones about your wishes the better the chance they can carry them out when you are no longer with us.