HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Yeah. My parents didn't want me anyways and made my childhood hell due to it, so I would have rather been aborted.
This is kinda me throughout my formative years. My mother had a miscarriage before having my brother, and then I showed up 10 years later only for my brother to die quite shortly thereafter. They always loved him more than me. It’s not that I blame them, but it still hurts being reminded every day that you can’t possibly ever measure up. His death elevated him higher than god-status, and I would always be the ugliest baby my dad ever saw.
It messes you up. You don’t realize how bad it messes you up until you get bullied at school. Maybe you could figure out why and fix whatever it is that people make fun of you for, or maybe you could come up with a snappy comeback, or you could just break someone’s nose just ONE GOOD TIME. But no. Can’t get good grades, teachers won’t help, and my straight-A mom can’t even teach me basic algebra. Like, seriously, you got straight A’s in Latin and calculus, but can’t be bothered to help
me figure out what I’m missing in basic algebra.
First four years of college weren’t any better.
From 2001-03 were the best years. Then my weaknesses caught up with me when I utterly failed in my first three teaching gigs, decided teaching wasn’t for me. Then got bullied by church people. CHURCH people! Mentally unstable worship leader’s wife calling CPS on us right after we brought my daughter home from the hospital for the first time in 6 weeks.
5 good years teaching band in a Catholic school. No regrets.
Living in poverty has never been fun, but I did manage to successfully impregnate the same woman four times.
Moved out of the Catholic school into another private school. Just sick of being sick of the Mississippi Delta, decided to try my hand at getting sick of something else. Didn’t take long! But the experience was worth it—giving myself a $20,000 pay raise when I get my next contract.
Yeah, life is hard. Insanely hard. There are days when I wish I hadn’t been born. But then I think about how much fun teaching band has been when we had good moments. I look at my own children and how much fun they are. I get to do all kinds of fun things. Having to endure a little bit of trash to get the good stuff at the end is always a pleasure when we get where we’re going. I can’t complain about it. Life is better than I deserve (I’ve been through some stuff, but I’m not perfect, either).
So…nah…it’s better that I’d been born after all.