Requirements of a good democrat

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My dad sent this to me. Republicans/Conservatives will probably appreciate this more than Democrats, but hopefully it brings a smile to at least a few people.

Requirements of a good Democrat:

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion
on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding
Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology
in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected
by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more
affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.

7. You ha ve to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach
fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same
kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but
loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his
own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are
too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem
are more important t o American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas
Edison, and A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but
racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a
very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't
worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't
been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected,
and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the
Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United
States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast,
right wing conspiracy.

22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the
day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas.

1) Doesn't seem to be a contradiction. Democrats don't see fetuses as human but they see alleged criminals as being so.(one of the arguments against the death penalty is that wrong people are executed) Not only that, but the case against the death penalty is currently relatively good, as it costs more to execute somebody than to keep them alive, so killing them isn't even for the purposes of conserving resources.

5) A large number of scientists do blame the soccer moms and industry though, so it really isn't a matter of stupidity but rather a belief in the scientific practices of a number of major meteorologists.

17) Most democrats aren't socialists. The democratic party isn't even that close to socialism as the debates have been about programs that other nations such as Canada and Europe have already implemented, and neither of those regions can rightly be called socialist.

18 ) Bill Clinton was a good president. Even supply-side guru Arthur Laffer has said that Clinton wasn't a bad president and frankly Clinton tried reducing the federal deficit, which IS a good move. Frankly, I'd be willing to argue that Clinton to a great extent was a better conservative economics president than George Bush or a number of others as Clinton is well known for NAFTA and for reducing the federal deficit, which is unlike many conservative presidents who increase the deficit and have very confused stances on trade. Here are the words of Arthur Laffer though: "I think Clinton did a great job as president.", "And then he became more Reagan than Reagan: He got Nafta through Congress, against the unions, against his own party. He reappointed Reagan's Fed chairman twice. He signed welfare reform, that you actually have to look for a job to get welfare. He cut government spending as a share of GDP by 3.5 percentage points. No president ever has come anywhere near him on that. He had the biggest capital gains tax cut in our nation's history in '97. He got rid of the retirement test on Social Security. This guy was a great president and I voted for him twice."

19) I wasn't aware that Democrats hated Christian rallies. I am certain that they would want to avoid having these things on government property, but I do think that Homosexual or Bestiality parades are constitutionally protected.

Those aren't neant to be factual statements that include ALL democrats. It's a joke... ha ha ha ... get it?

I just didn't think a lot of it was funny. Sort of like how certain observational humor is not funny if you really know the depths of an issue. Like, I remember watching a Seinfeld episode and one of his jokes just wasn't funny because I had overthought the issue before and knew his basic assumptions to be wrong.

And if you think that democrats are communists, allow me to introduce you to some real communists that would starkly beg to differ.

True communism doesn't exist...what we call communism is really closer to socialism than it is to Marx's ideal government system.

I don't guess anyone here has a sense of humor...

I thought it was funny.