Zennies?

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Any practicing zennists out there?
Non-literal buddhists?
I've been sitting for 11 years and am having trouble with my teacher and sangha... the usual social ineptness issues.

There are one or two on here that have Buddhist inclinations. Loosely speaking I'm Zen Buddhist. What is the problem with your sangha and teacher?

What's that mean... loosely speaking I'm a zen buddhist...? Do you have a teacher and sangha?

Thirty years ago I was a monk. Nowadays my teacher is no-person and my sangha the trees and flowers.
Make of that what you wish. I practice shikantaza meditation, rather than koan based meditation. Are you a monk or lay follower of Zen?

I am soto, do shikantaza as well.

I was to be ordained this summer... but it's been cancelled due to perceived disrespect to my teacher and difficulties with others... just got diagnosed as Aspie this last week. Was to join her for back-to-back sesshin on Friday, but we spoke this am and she's not up to the 'project' of me at the moment, so I am to stay home.

Heartbroken.

You are not a "project" you are a human being. As Aspies we have problems interacting with others and tend to be forthright in our views to authority figures which can cause friction. The only advice I can give you is to be mindful of your "heartbreak". Witness it within your mind. Watch your response to this situation while you meditate. Who is the "one" that feels this hearbreak? Maybe you will see through it and beyond it.

If you lack confidence in your teacher, seek another; or simply seek within yourself without an external teacher. A teacher can only point, after they have done this their job is done - you have to do the walking.

Typical canned zen response... you think after 11 years of practice I don't know to watch my mind?

I certainly have confidence in my teacher... it's the feeling more like a burden than a bodhisattva that's problematic.

Does one possess the 8 Freedoms, the 10 Endowments if one is an Aspie? Is autism sufficient mental disability to preclude practise of the Mahayana path, not just the wisdom side, but the compassion side as well?

Or should one just practice the Hinayana path of personal liberation for this lifetime?

OK, I was unaware how long you had been practising - 11 weeks or 11 years. That's the problem discussing with a just few snippets of text to go on.

I don't think Aspergers precludes any Zen practice, however if I can make an observation, you seem to be bogged down in finite details "8 Freedoms, the 10 Endowments". It reminds me of my days as a monk. One of my peers, a young German man learned Sanskrit in a deep scholarly way so he could read ancient manuscripts in the original, he was very logical and a devil for all the details and very serious all of the time. Looking back I think he may have been an Aspie. Another young man spent more of his time in meditation and was very passionate in a non-scholarly way. I think as Aspies we have a tendency to over-analyse and collect knowledge rather than simply look, and be the witness. We play games with words in our mind and build them into concepts of obstacles. Enlightenment is something "out there", some distant concept rather than here, now and we think that we need to learn more facts and accumulate bits of knowledge than to see beyond knowledge itself.

Why worry about compassion? Why make it a plaything of the mind? As aspies we are not unfeeling, sometimes it seems to be the opposite in fact, merely that we cannot pick up on another body language as easily, but we still feel empathy for their pain and suffering. I sometimes see mothers carrying their dead child in some war zone on the television news - and I am that mother. Maybe you will become a bodhisattva maybe not. Why preoccupy your thoughts with such things - from where does the desire to become a bodhisattva arise?

I don't know if any of this helps. Personally I have let go of the details and making distinctions between this path or that path and choosing. Now I simply look, see what is and have no need of a teacher, they only give me more words and concepts for the mind to play with. One can either use one's own eyes and look; or hear endless descriptions by others on what it means to look and see. If you feel you need a teacher then that is fine too, all part of the game

There is a Zen group on the beliefnet website, maybe they can be of assistance to you? I no longer participate in the group but I think it is still quite active. There is similarly a Zen group on Usenet but that tends to be bogged down by spam and trolls - I never found it particularly helpful.

Best wishes with your spiritual search.

Helpful ponderings... thank you.

Anyone else around here into zen or buddhism?

I am not a practicing buddhist, or of any religion for that matter, but meditate, and originally learnt to by reading about buddhism. Although I find the traditions and philosophy inspiring, I approached it from a scholarly angle for it's benefits.

Which scholarly angle... there are so many.
I tend to have a more scholarly approach as well, beyond the benefits of sitting. I also find the compassion meditations helpful in keeping up my caaring heart when things go awry with others.