Traces Of Herpes Found On Copies Of 50 Shades Of Grey

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Fnord
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23 Nov 2013, 4:42 pm

Schneekugel wrote:
*casts Fireball on fundie cleric*

Wait a sec ... Ah! Here it is:
Quote:
Fireball
Evocation [Fire]
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Long (400 ft. + 40 ft./level)
Area: 20-ft.-radius spread
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex half
Spell Resistance: Yes

A fireball spell is an explosion of flame that detonates with a low roar and deals 1d6 points of fire damage per caster level (maximum 10d6) to every creature within the area. Unattended objects also take this damage. The explosion creates almost no pressure.

You point your finger and determine the range (distance and height) at which the fireball is to burst. A glowing, pea-sized bead streaks from the pointing digit and, unless it impacts upon a material body or solid barrier prior to attaining the prescribed range, blossoms into the fireball at that point. (An early impact results in an early detonation.) If you attempt to send the bead through a narrow passage, such as through an arrow slit, you must “hit” the opening with a ranged touch attack, or else the bead strikes the barrier and detonates prematurely.

The fireball sets fire to combustibles and damages objects in the area. It can melt metals with low melting points, such as lead, gold, copper, silver, and bronze. If the damage caused to an interposing barrier shatters or breaks through it, the fireball may continue beyond the barrier if the area permits; otherwise it stops at the barrier just as any other spell effect does.

Material Component

A tiny ball of bat guano and sulfur.

So ... how much bat poo do we need, and where do we queue up to use it?


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CobaltBlew
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26 Nov 2013, 4:00 am

I tried to read this book, I really did. I read to chapter 10, that was as far as I could go. 'Twas terribly written and the characters were lame. Borrrrinnnggggg



Fnord
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26 Nov 2013, 10:55 am

CobaltBlew wrote:
I tried to read this book, I really did. I read to chapter 10, that was as far as I could go. 'Twas terribly written and the characters were lame. Borrrrinnnggggg

That's true of almost all porn and smut.


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Sylkat
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26 Nov 2013, 11:07 am

I think that I made it half-way through the first chapter.

Could be marketed as a non-chemical sleep aid.


Sylkat



Schneekugel
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26 Nov 2013, 11:12 am

CobaltBlew wrote:
I tried to read this book, I really did. I read to chapter 10, that was as far as I could go. 'Twas terribly written and the characters were lame. Borrrrinnnggggg


I think you need to live in horrible prude countries, to understand the attention about that stuff. ^^



sonofghandi
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26 Nov 2013, 2:33 pm

Fnord wrote:
Schneekugel wrote:
*casts Fireball on fundie cleric*

Wait a sec ... Ah! Here it is:
Quote:
Fireball
Evocation [Fire]
Level: Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Long (400 ft. + 40 ft./level)
Area: 20-ft.-radius spread
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Reflex half
Spell Resistance: Yes

A fireball spell is an explosion of flame that detonates with a low roar and deals 1d6 points of fire damage per caster level (maximum 10d6) to every creature within the area. Unattended objects also take this damage. The explosion creates almost no pressure.

You point your finger and determine the range (distance and height) at which the fireball is to burst. A glowing, pea-sized bead streaks from the pointing digit and, unless it impacts upon a material body or solid barrier prior to attaining the prescribed range, blossoms into the fireball at that point. (An early impact results in an early detonation.) If you attempt to send the bead through a narrow passage, such as through an arrow slit, you must “hit” the opening with a ranged touch attack, or else the bead strikes the barrier and detonates prematurely.

The fireball sets fire to combustibles and damages objects in the area. It can melt metals with low melting points, such as lead, gold, copper, silver, and bronze. If the damage caused to an interposing barrier shatters or breaks through it, the fireball may continue beyond the barrier if the area permits; otherwise it stops at the barrier just as any other spell effect does.

Material Component

A tiny ball of bat guano and sulfur.

So ... how much bat poo do we need, and where do we queue up to use it?


Glad I wasn't the only one to look it up again.


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