Teen volenteer fired for autistic behavoirs

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JennaFree
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06 Apr 2016, 7:21 am

The museum is obligated to make reasonable accommodations. I am not an expert in such case so if I were in his shoes I would ask these guys http://solicitors.guru/human-rights/ for a help. Lawyers know better how to solve such problems.



Ettina
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06 Apr 2016, 7:56 am

pezar wrote:
As for Down Syndrome, the highest IQ Downs people can have is around 60-65. Those are the ones who are somewhat aware that they have limitations that other people do not. The lower IQ ones, some of them have absolutely no self-awareness at all and don't seem to respond to their environment or interact with it in any meaningful way.


What do you mean by responding to the environment?

When I worked with DD people, all of them clearly responded to their environment. The lowest functioning DS person I've met was minimally verbal, but she clearly responded to things - for example if she didn't like something, she'd sit down and refuse to move. Even kids with more severe disabilities, who sat in wheelchairs barely able to move at all, would indicate what they liked or disliked by facial expressions, sounds and what little movement they could do. I have never met anyone with a disability that caused no ability to respond to their environment or interact in any way. The most severely disabled person I've met could only vibrate her hand a bit and do facial expressions and moaning noises, but she still clearly told me that she liked when I waved shiny things in front of her.



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06 Apr 2016, 8:38 am

I'm naturally a hugger, and I'm NT. I've never been in the habit of hugging strangers, or hugging people as a greeting, but I have had to learn not to do it in most situations. I shake hands now.

Quote:
"It grounds them and it helps them so when there are a lot of people the first thing he likes to do is hug people," Amy Martinez said.


What does she mean by "them"? Does she think that all autistic people do this, just because her kid does?

19 is still pretty young. I think he probably just hasn't had it explained to him in a way that clicks yet. It's like how most of us have to have a math concept explained in just the right way before we can do it in school. I bet he'll learn to stop doing it as he gets older. I hope his mom can be supportive in helping him grow, and doesn't think that he's hit his peak at 19. Good lord, what kind of world would we be in if we all hit our developmental peaks at 19?



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06 Apr 2016, 9:29 am

League_Girl wrote:
I saw people do it all the time and saw it in movies so it was very confusing. Now I realize they know the social cues and know when it's appropriate to do it.
I'm still confused by this. I see casual acquaintances hugging each other at work, always women.


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SocOfAutism
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06 Apr 2016, 9:54 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I saw people do it all the time and saw it in movies so it was very confusing. Now I realize they know the social cues and know when it's appropriate to do it.
I'm still confused by this. I see casual acquaintances hugging each other at work, always women.


When someone is a "hugger" they will usually make some motion towards you. A half-step in your direction or turning their body towards you. If you don't want to be hugged, you can watch for this, take a step back, and extend your hand instead. The hugger will shake your hand. If you don't like your hand touched, I'm sorry. I'd keep some sanitizing gel with you for afterwards. Handshakes are the most effective ways to cut off an oncoming hug.

If the other person is not a hugger, they will usually take a step back from you, or look busy while engaged in the goodbye salutations. What I usually do is hold up a hand in a wave and finish my own goodbyes that way, making it clear that I am not trying to touch them.



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06 Apr 2016, 12:26 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I saw people do it all the time and saw it in movies so it was very confusing. Now I realize they know the social cues and know when it's appropriate to do it.
I'm still confused by this. I see casual acquaintances hugging each other at work, always women.



That is why you shouldn't hug people. You don't know the social cues so it's best you don't do it at all unless someone initiates it first. I don't know if it's something that can be taught. Some social skills can't be taught so all we can do is not do that at all because we don't know the social cues for it.


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06 Apr 2016, 4:41 pm

SocOfAutism wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I saw people do it all the time and saw it in movies so it was very confusing. Now I realize they know the social cues and know when it's appropriate to do it.
I'm still confused by this. I see casual acquaintances hugging each other at work, always women.


When someone is a "hugger" they will usually make some motion towards you. A half-step in your direction or turning their body towards you. If you don't want to be hugged, you can watch for this, take a step back, and extend your hand instead. The hugger will shake your hand. If you don't like your hand touched, I'm sorry. I'd keep some sanitizing gel with you for afterwards. Handshakes are the most effective ways to cut off an oncoming hug.

If the other person is not a hugger, they will usually take a step back from you, or look busy while engaged in the goodbye salutations. What I usually do is hold up a hand in a wave and finish my own goodbyes that way, making it clear that I am not trying to touch them.


Good advice. I often say good bye while raising my hand in a small, stationary wave *while* taking that half step back. The key though to it not being misunderstood is to smile while doing so and appear to be making eye contact. It also helps if you throw some sort of 'sad to see you go' emotion tone in your voice and some extra bit of useless social verbal banter like, "drive carefully" or "hope your flight is good". It makes them feel as warm and fuzzy as a hug, makes me feel good that I was able to convey that I do like them as a person.


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RetroGamer87
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06 Apr 2016, 4:59 pm

SocOfAutism wrote:
When someone is a "hugger" they will usually make some motion towards you. A half-step in your direction or turning their body towards you.
I'll never understand how NTs can have such fast reflexes and subtle judgment.
League_Girl wrote:
That is why you shouldn't hug people.
I don't. Not in group situations. It's not that I have touch sensitivity. When people start hugging each other in a group situation, I can never figure out if I'm expected to. I save my hugs for girlfriend.


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06 Apr 2016, 10:14 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Teen with autism fired from volunteer position at McAllen museum

While I am conflicted I do think they did the right thing by not contesting the firing and using the situation to raise understanding. Samual was warned and this position involved dealing with the public. Autistic or not here in 2016 any hugging of other employees brings fear of lawsuits. Hopefuly things change.


The stimming might have gave him a passer, but hugging absolutely not.

He has to learn to keep his hands to himself, autistic or not. Unwanted touching (unless you are so low function, you haven't a clue), falls under sexual harassment.

I have taken a zillion sexual harassment seminar/classes for my job. Unwanted hugs, shoulder rubs, grabs, blah...blah...blah.... can be reported to HR as sexual harassment. It doesn't say if your autistic you get a passer because that is how your greet people and everyone should STFU and deal. Maybe I hate being touched, and this guy comes up and gives me a bear hug. Now what? I feel uncomfortable and since he's has "issues", I'm supposed to take it?

Mom better started working on his social skills. You might get an indulgence at age 10 hugging people, it doesn't fly at 19.

FWIW.. I don't mind hugs, my Aspie husband HATES hugs. He would have a really hard time working with a huggy touchy worker.



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06 Apr 2016, 10:36 pm

The Mc Donalds by me has some DS workers. The clean up and sometimes bring an order out to the customer. They all can talk some.

However they do it, the DS workers know who they can hug, or high five or just let the person be. There is one man who will give me a high five, but he'll give a few of the senior citizens a hug.

I think the high five started when I saw him high five another customer. I think he got some good news, and I said something like great and gave him the high five. He only give me a wave or the high five, never a hug.

My husband told me he is never able to figure out when to give a hug, a high five, shake hands or wave to anyone. It amazed him that the workers could just seemingly float through all those situations, and they live in a group home. They are verbal (somewhat). They seemed to know who was welcoming that sort of personal contact and who they just flat out left alone.

My husband will ask me how do I know when to do it. I can't even explain it. I just do.



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08 Jun 2017, 10:47 am

Couldn't they have just given him a warning first? Most places will at least give you a warning if you do something wrong before firing you (unless you do something truly dangerous or offensive) did the museum people know he was autistic?


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