Yemen Confronts Plight of Child Brides

Post Reply New Topic

About the issue of age differences, the only thing intrinsic to this discussion is that in order to marry a man must be financially capable of providing for a family, which generally places the initial age of marriage somewhat higher. At the same time, though, if a man's family can cover the costs for him, it is their responsibility to get him married to help him maintain his chastity. So, it's a non-issue. The Prophet's (saws) first wife was, of course, fifteen years older than him. He was 25, she was 40.

I still fail to see the mechanisms by which, should a child refuse the marriage her parents have set up for her, she could say "no" and have it enforced. Can and will the state/church/whatever organization has the most power in these sort of things step in, or is it merely theoretical, something that SHOULD happen but doesn't often enough? This doesn't even touch on the fact that, for fear of loss to the family, disapproval or in extreme cases abuse, some young brides might not even voice their true feelings and go along with their family's decision in spite of what they'd really want. Unless there are options and protections for someone who is dependent on their parents but who nonetheless does not agree with their decision on what will be such a crucial aspect of their life so that they may voice and stand by that opinion without fear of retribution, there is no way to say that all of these marriages are fully consensual.

Furthermore, who determines when someone has reached maturity? If it's based purely on the development of secondary sex characteristics (menstruation, breast growth, etc.), this may or may not reflect actual mental development of a sort necessary for someone entering a marriage. And if it's purely based off the perceived maturity of a child as judged by their parents? That can conceivably lead to all sorts of misconceptions and outright abuses depending on the parents' motives.

I still don't see the advantage of marrying a child as opposed to marrying an adult.

It is said that Mary (Jesus' mother) was a child bride, when she married a somehow middle-aged Joseph.

Said? Said by whom? IF you got that little factoid from evilbible.com, it is null-and-void.

She can't...practically speaking, such a child has no option but to comply.



SANAA, Yemen (CNN) -- Nujood Ali is 10 years old, but she already has been married and divorced. It was an arranged marriage in which she said a husband three times her age routinely beat and raped her.

"When I got married, I was afraid. I didn't want to leave home. I wanted to stay with my brothers and sisters and my mom and dad," she said, speaking to CNN with the permission of her parents.

"I didn't want to sleep with him, but he forced me to. He hit me, insulted me."

As she plays marbles with her brothers and sister, Nujood is a portrait of innocence, with a shy smile and a playful nature.

But what happened evokes anger and shame. Asked if what she went through was torture, she nods quietly.

Nujood's parents married her off in February to a man in his 30s whom she describes as old and ugly.

Her parents said they thought they were putting her in the care of her husband's family, but Nujood said he would often beat her into submission.

Nujood then turned to her family for mercy.

"When I heard, my heart burned for her; he wasn't supposed to sleep with her," said Nujood's mother, who asked not to be identified.

But, initially, she also told her daughter she could not help her -- that she belonged to her husband now.

The rest of the story...

Only 10 years old ...

Generally, child brides who aren't forced into marriage and are not physically or mentally abused end up being very loyal to their husbands. My great-grandmother, for example. She and my great-grandfather were never apart until the day she died. Their marriage had a lot of love, till the end.



Uhh...you didn't check out evilbible at all, did you? I personally don't mind looking at what Islamophobes have to say, so why can't you?



One must not accept faith blindly. Read what others have to say, criticize, and debunk what they have to say. I personally must mention that, religion is one of my favourite topics, and I study different religions for hours everyday, and compare them to Islam.

On the topic of Mary, mother of Jesus, there is no source mentioning her age of marriage either in the Quran or the Bible, however, there's a hadith source mentioning that she gave birth to Jesus at the age of 16. If that is correct, her age of marriage would be somewhere between 13-15. Hence, she was probably a child bride, although there's no proof of that.

Btw, Jesus was circumcised, according to the New Testament. Just thought I'd mention it, considering how anti-circumcision most Christians are.

If you marry a child, you have to wait till she "ripens" before you can have sex with her. And that takes decades. If you marry an adult, you can have sex right away. I guess the advantage with child brides is that they mentally and physically inferior, thus easier to manipulate and abuse.

We both know this isn't right.

If you marry a child, you have to wait till she "ripens" before you can have sex with her. And that takes decades. If you marry an adult, you can have sex right away. I guess the advantage with child brides is that they mentally and physically inferior, thus easier to manipulate and abuse.

We both know this isn't right.

What do you mean by "ripening"? Your view takes only girls into consideration, not boys. In India, most child brides are within the age group of 7-12 (both brides and grooms). Rarely is the groom older. I don't know about Arab society, but I do believe these incidents mentioned are the rarest of the rare. If child brides were really such a menacing problem, there would've been thousands, and not a handful of brides going for help, especially after these girls came out with their plight.

I don't know why you think child brides alone can be abused...I just said so earlier that my mother, who was an adult when she got married, was in an abusive relationship, and my grandmother & great-grandmother, who were child brides, were not abused. Have you ever met a child couple in your life? If you haven't, then don't make such biased statements, because I've met dozens. The question is not sex but love, and we are capable of falling in love at a very young age.

In most cases of child marriage here, both the bride and the groom are indeed within the same age group. In the case of my mother, my father was much older than get, by 15 years. But, there are younger grooms with older brides who also end up in an abusive relationship. Age is not a deciding factor when it comes to abuse.

I'd also like to point out that child marriage is perfectly legal in many states of the USA:

http://www.coolnurse.com/marriage_laws.htm

Also, according to this source, 11% of girls in the USA got married before the age of 18. In India, it's 50%.

You're a minor till you're eighteen. And who would let their 16 year-old daughter get married? In North America there isn't the dowry thing going on, and young brides are not traded for goats or anything like that. In my part of the world, we live in the 21st century, not the middle ages.

This whole thing disgusts me because it is so backward.

Your style of addressing is not only impolite, but you show a complete lack of understanding in the matter.

Firstly, dowry is different in different parts of the world. With Muslims, the groom's family prepares the dowry, which is fixed to a certain amount, for example, Pakistani law limits it to Rs 50,000 (approximately $1200). With Hindus, the bride's family gives the dowry, and the practice is completely banned for both Muslims and Hindus. I'm not against the system of dowry, as it's religiously significant, but I do believe it should be limited to a minimal amount, depending on the wealth of the concerned families.

Animals are significant only Africa, mainly in the Christian and animist countries. In rural Africa, ownership of cattle and livestock signifies wealth, not money, even to this day. To give an animal in Africa to someone is considered a great honour, not something appalling. My friend's mother works for UNICEF. She was gifted a goat in Zimbabwe. That was the villager's way of saying "thank you" to her for her charitiable work. Hence, in African traditions, giving a goat or cow as a gift during a wedding takes places between both sides, and is not considered dowry as both sides usually trade the livestock. It's just a sign of goodwill.

Also, child marriages are more common in Africa than the middle east or South Asia. Most of these countries are Christian. I have Tanzanian friends in my class, they know best.

OBviously I'm in no position to criticize cultures I know nothing about. But certain things transcend culture, like the welfare of women and children. I apologize for coming off so harsh. I'm just concerned about the welfare of children worldwide.

I accept your apology. ^^

I must say, I too am against child abuse. To be exact, I'm against any abuse against women. In India, domestic violence against women is very high. 57% of adult women in India claim that it's ok if their husband beats them for not cooking their food properly. This is a very appalling figure.

Recently, I joined the national social service. What we do is, pick a village, and provide it with basic facilities, teach the children some English, and spread social awareness, especially against domestic violence. The domestic violence rate at this village is very low. Why? Because the head of the village, the sarpanch, is female. She herself was a child bride, and over 50% of the village's married couples were in their mid or pre-teens when they got married. Simple thing really, they elected the wisest woman in the village. The result is that there's no abuse, no alcoholics, no cannabis or opium, and a high literacy rate. It made me more convinced that abuse and child marriages are not related.

Sounds like a great village. The sarpanch is like a mayor?