One man’s experience of a female stalker

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If anyone wants more links to confidential support services for male victims of abuse, please let me know.

Somehow I'm feeling worst than I think I actually deserve to feel for trying to contribute to this discussion.

*sigh* I guess all this does is reinforce why I myself should never feel comfortable talking about abuse. Oh well.

I'm sorry you're feeling bad man. I don't think that was the aim of the thread.

Don't feel badly RDF. You always show a lot of support for victims of any gender.

This.

Since the OP article happened in London, here's a link for men's support services in the UK:


ManKind Initiative Support Services for Men


Telephone Number:

I happen to think that a lot more people are capable of stalking than they would care to admit.

It doesn't have to be stalking of a grand scale or in the traditional sense.

My stepmother used to send me out to terrorise people who she had disagreements with. This was by phone, in person or to damage property. This is stalking

Unrequited love can also turn into stalking and this can happen to people if either gender.

There are many things that could trigger this behaviour and I reckon it could affect anyone

^ Yeah, I think you’re right about that. People don’t always even realize that they are stalking someone. Awareness about this topic is super important, maybe especially for people on the spectrum given our social difficulties. People don’t need to have bad intentions in order to make someone uncomfortable or worse. It’s hard to tell what someone’s intentions are when they engage in the behavior.

Yes, stalking and harassment can affect people of all demographics.
We should view such behaviours as mental health and public safety issues, rather than gendered issues.

Our individual stories will differ because everyone's life is unique.
People first view topics through the lens of what they know best, which is their own experience.
That's how empathy develops.

It doesn't mean that ours is the only lens that we use.
We're all capable of understanding other people's point of view.
We're all capable of feeling empathy and compassion for others, regardless of the demographic.

This thread is a good opportunity to demonstrate how much we have in common.

I think it is telling that you can't have a thread about a man's experience of a female stalker without women hijacking the thread and diverting by writing about women as victims of abuse. To highlight cases where women are the abusers is obviously a sensitive subject.

I don't believe that happened.
Women didn't hijack the thread, but rather they replied with support.

The derail occurred when a sarcastic joke was made about "feminists" not understanding.

This is in the news because of the TV show Baby Reindeer which is on Netflix (in the UK at least) at the moment.

Has anyone watched it? I mentioned it in the TV shows thread.

I've watched up to episode 4 but haven't watched further because it was a deeply uncomfortable episode for me to watch. I'll watch the rest soon though.

The stalking stuff which dominates the first three episodes is disturbing enough, especially as the stalker is, in some ways, quite easy to sympathise with. I found, anyway.

It's a true story and the writer is the lead actor in it as well. It happened to him. It's a pretty brave piece of TV imo, particularly in the way it explores behaviour on the part of the victim that doesn't really make sense when it's not happening to you - the "Why didn't you just...?" questions.

I watched most of it. It was horrific

A former female member accused you of being a misandrist?

I haven't seen any evidence of you hating on men.

Quite the opposite really. Your posts seem more favourable to men than anything else?!

Thank you for providing this support, Issy.

I've been called misandrist AND misogynist by women, because I believe in equality.