Prince William's girlfriend digs through dog poo

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Pedro: Man, what is in this sh*t, man?
Man: Mostly Maui Waui man, but it's got some Labrador in it.
Pedro: What's Labrador?
Man: It's dog sh*t.
Pedro: What?
Man: Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.
Pedro: Yeah?
Man: I had it on the table and the little m*therf*cker ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?
Pedro: You mean we're smokin' dog sh*t, man?
Man: Gets ya high, don't it? I think it's even better than before, you know?
Pedro: I wonder what Great Dane tastes like, man.

I wonder if that's equivalent to the "cat bong" where a cat is smoked out by placing it in a rubbermaid container with weed and smoking the weed through a spout. Apparently you can really screw up a cat's brain by doing that.

I heard of this guy who, for his first LSD trip, tried some pretty powerful stuff, and it literally blew his mind, and he was never right in the head afterwards.

"You never see a positive drug story on the news. They always have the same LSD story. You've all seen it: "Today a young man on acid...thought he could fly...jumped out of a building...what a tragedy!" What a d*ck. Don't go blaming LSD for this guy - he's an idiot. If he thought he could fly why didn't he take off from the ground first and check it out? He's an idiot. He's dead. Good! We lost a moron. F**king celebrate. There's one less doorknob in the world - oh my god, we're missin' a moron!"

Wouldn't you like to see a positive LSD story on the news? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition?, Perhaps? Wouldn't that be interesting? Just once?

"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration – that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves - Here's Tom with the weather!"

That's F'ing hilarious! The strangest thing I've ever heard in my life! I don't believe it for a minute, it's far too industrious for stoners to get up to, but its the kind of thing they would talk about while stoned. Besides, you can't screw up a cat's brain - cats don't have brains.



Yeah, everyone's heard of that guy - he's a product of the US government's hysterical 1960s anti-drug propaganda campaign - just like the guy who does LSD, thinks he can fly and jumps off a building. As Bill Hicks said:

Who is this Bill Hicks fellow? I'd like to hear more.

“If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CDs and burn them. Cause you know what? The musicians that made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years? RrRrRrRrrEeEaAaall f**king high on drugs. The Beatles were so f**kin' high they even let Ringo sing a coupla tunes."

"I was in Nashville, Tennesee last year. After the show I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, I was hungry. And I'm alone, I'm eating and I'm reading a book, right? Waitress walks over to me: 'Hey, whatcha readin' for?' Isn't that the weirdest f**kin' question you've ever heard? Not what am I reading, but what am I reading FOR? Well, g*dammit, ya stumped me! Why do I read? Well . . . hmmm . . . I dunno . . . I guess I read for a lot of reasons but one of the main ones is so I don't end up being a f**kin' waffle waitress."

"I've been traveling a lot lately. I was over in Australia during Easter. It was interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night."

"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a f**kin' cross? It's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on."

If you have children here tonight—and I assume some of you do—I am sorry to tell you this. They are not special. I'll let that sink in. Don't get me wrong, folks. I know you think they're special. You think that. I'm telling you—they're not. Did you know that every time a guy comes, he comes 200 million sperm? Did you know that? And you mean to tell me you think your child is special? Because one out of 200 million sperm connected . . . that load? Gee, what are the odds? Do you know what that means? I have wiped entire civilizations off of my chest, with a grey gym sock. That is special. Entire nations have flaked and crusted in the hair around my navel. That is special. I have tossed universes, in my underpants, while napping. That is special."