Banning loud children from restaurants, airplanes

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Macbeth
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13 Sep 2010, 3:48 pm

ikorack wrote:
Not if their kid is being a nuisance and they are doing nothing to stop it.


So you would recommend swearing at people, being abusive to them, then punching them in face because their child is being loud within your earshot? Because that is what is being suggested here. Or that a child being loud is justification to be abusive and then physically aggressive towards someone?

Which of course is an outstanding thing for a child to witness. Certain to make them grow up into a rounded and sensible adult. Absolutely doesn't get across the wrong message at all. And certainly won't disturb the diners in the restaurant anywhere near as much. Because an abusive brawl is SO MUCH MORE QUIET than an over-exuberant baby.


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13 Sep 2010, 5:15 pm

McDonalds might be okay for noisy children but ritzy fru-fru five star places should have a strict no one under the age of seventeen policy. Places where you have to wait more than five minnutes for your food should not allow kids either unless they are supper well behaved. Families of screaming children should be kicked out, autism or not. I may be autistic but I don't expect the whole word to cater to me because I have autsim.


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13 Sep 2010, 6:56 pm

I recall this one time I went to a restaraunt late in the evening..It was a nice restaraunt and just for my meal, I paid $50.00 Canadian. Then out of the blue, some parents decide to take their toddlers to dinner late in the evening (the time was around 10 PM). Who on earth brings their toddlers out for dinner to a fancy restaraunt at 10 PM? Anyway, this toddler was being extremely loud and yelling and all. I think anyone would be well within their right to tell those parents to keep their kid quiet in that type of situation..where people are paying $50.00 a plate.


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Macbeth
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13 Sep 2010, 7:01 pm

Tory_canuck wrote:
I recall this one time I went to a restaraunt late in the evening..It was a nice restaraunt and just for my meal, I paid $50.00 Canadian. Then out of the blue, some parents decide to take their toddlers to dinner late in the evening (the time was around 10 PM). Who on earth brings their toddlers out for dinner to a fancy restaraunt at 10 PM? Anyway, this toddler was being extremely loud and yelling and all. I think anyone would be well within their right to tell those parents to keep their kid quiet in that type of situation..where people are paying $50.00 a plate.


And again, its not YOUR place to do that. In that situation, you speak to the staff discreetly and let them deal with it.


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Tory_canuck
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13 Sep 2010, 7:04 pm

Macbeth wrote:
Tory_canuck wrote:
I recall this one time I went to a restaraunt late in the evening..It was a nice restaraunt and just for my meal, I paid $50.00 Canadian. Then out of the blue, some parents decide to take their toddlers to dinner late in the evening (the time was around 10 PM). Who on earth brings their toddlers out for dinner to a fancy restaraunt at 10 PM? Anyway, this toddler was being extremely loud and yelling and all. I think anyone would be well within their right to tell those parents to keep their kid quiet in that type of situation..where people are paying $50.00 a plate.


And again, its not YOUR place to do that. In that situation, you speak to the staff discreetly and let them deal with it.


I didn't say anything to the parents...I just did not leave as much of a tip as I would have.


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ikorack
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13 Sep 2010, 9:07 pm

Macbeth wrote:
ikorack wrote:
Not if their kid is being a nuisance and they are doing nothing to stop it.


So you would recommend swearing at people, being abusive to them, then punching them in face because their child is being loud within your earshot? Because that is what is being suggested here. Or that a child being loud is justification to be abusive and then physically aggressive towards someone?

Which of course is an outstanding thing for a child to witness. Certain to make them grow up into a rounded and sensible adult. Absolutely doesn't get across the wrong message at all. And certainly won't disturb the diners in the restaurant anywhere near as much. Because an abusive brawl is SO MUCH MORE QUIET than an over-exuberant baby.


I seriously doubt he would curse at them even if he says he would here,(and if he does so what they shouldn't bring children with no self control to restaurants.) also he never said he would get physical with them without provocation so i don't know where you got that from.



Macbeth
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13 Sep 2010, 9:32 pm

ikorack wrote:
Macbeth wrote:
ikorack wrote:
Not if their kid is being a nuisance and they are doing nothing to stop it.


So you would recommend swearing at people, being abusive to them, then punching them in face because their child is being loud within your earshot? Because that is what is being suggested here. Or that a child being loud is justification to be abusive and then physically aggressive towards someone?

Which of course is an outstanding thing for a child to witness. Certain to make them grow up into a rounded and sensible adult. Absolutely doesn't get across the wrong message at all. And certainly won't disturb the diners in the restaurant anywhere near as much. Because an abusive brawl is SO MUCH MORE QUIET than an over-exuberant baby.


I seriously doubt he would curse at them even if he says he would here,(and if he does so what they shouldn't bring children with no self control to restaurants.) also he never said he would get physical with them without provocation so i don't know where you got that from.


Whilst I also doubt that he is actually brave enough to verbally abuse strangers, the "provocation" as far as he is concerned would be their response to his initial (theoretical) incredible rudeness. He tells them to shut their kid the f**k up, he gets told to go and ram his head up his ass (or words to that effect) he (apparently) responds with violence.

Anyway, point was that being THAT rude to someone just because their kid is being a bit loud will only make the situation worse, not better. Whether or not he gets his face caved in by an angry parent, or ejected from a restaurant for being so aggressive his more his problem. Being rude or aggressive towards the parents is categorically the WRONG thing to do, regardless of how hard he thinks he is. Besides which, the management will quickly fall out with the singleton customer being a pain in the ass and getting angry, way faster than they will with the family group who are no doubt paying way more for their meal.

I speak from long experience that by far the best way to handle "disruptive children" is to politely and calmly bring it to the attention of the management. Chances are they will already have noticed it anyway. I've had to eject people from the premises for being too rude and confrontational about someone else's behaviour regardless of what the original behaviour was. (Varying from setting fire to themselves to dancing on tables to making leery drunken advances. And these are all adults. As mentioned earlier, I've found children to generally be much better behaved than their parents ever are.) There are ways to let someone know that their child is misbehaving, and throwing a pint glass at them isn't one of them.

Likewise from the other side of the fence, as a parent I've experienced the "Sudden noise moment" and I guarantee that no matter how outstanding parenting is, or how well behaved or well mannered children are, they are still children so there is always the chance that they will do something disruptive. Even more so with disabled children. People becoming aggressive at me whilst trying to exert discipline over my offspring does result in the person in question getting told to f**k off and get on with their lives somewhere else, because all they are doing is making the situation WORSE.

We were all children once, and I call BS on anyone who claims that in all of their childhood they never misbehaved in public, were never loud or inappropriate, or just were loud and happy. And if a restaurant has a family menu (or worse yet a kids menu) then don't moan when children happen to appear.


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14 Sep 2010, 1:42 am

Macbeth wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
Macbeth wrote:
Where I worked, the greatest problem we had with parents not controlling their children was pikey mothers letting their children try and steal cigarettes from behind the bar. The adults were by FAR the worst behaved over any child in the place. Often they acted more like children than their children did, whilst their poor children sat quietly and stoically tolerating their idiot parents excesses.


That sounds annoying as hell, I forgot that you'd been behind the stick before, that can be a great gig or a pretty rough one depending on the spot. For me, all the really stupid problems actually happened when I worked at a delivery restaurant, people would do stuff like call the cops because they tried to scam free food from us and we wouldn't give it to them. :roll:


Liability being what it is in the UK, I have been in the unfortunate position of having to control (or request control of) other peoples children. That or see the venue get sued into the floor. This on top of having to deal with my bosses ill-mannered bratty kids run roughshod around the establishment like they owned the place. Tact helps A LOT, but there is no safe way of doing it really. Ironically the best behaved kids in the venue were mine, and they're both autistic.


whoa, hold the phone.


They allow CHILDREN in bars in the UK?

In Canada you're not allowed in a bar, period, if you're not 19 or older.



ADoyle
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14 Sep 2010, 3:07 am

All I know is that my brother and I were taught that there were restaurants and other places where we had to be quiet. I'm sure there were occasions that we acted up, after all, we were children. Even though I had Aspie traits growing up, my parents still expected me to behave appropriately in restaurants.


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MotherKnowsBest
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14 Sep 2010, 3:26 am

Shebakoby wrote:
Macbeth wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
Macbeth wrote:
Where I worked, the greatest problem we had with parents not controlling their children was pikey mothers letting their children try and steal cigarettes from behind the bar. The adults were by FAR the worst behaved over any child in the place. Often they acted more like children than their children did, whilst their poor children sat quietly and stoically tolerating their idiot parents excesses.


That sounds annoying as hell, I forgot that you'd been behind the stick before, that can be a great gig or a pretty rough one depending on the spot. For me, all the really stupid problems actually happened when I worked at a delivery restaurant, people would do stuff like call the cops because they tried to scam free food from us and we wouldn't give it to them. :roll:


Liability being what it is in the UK, I have been in the unfortunate position of having to control (or request control of) other peoples children. That or see the venue get sued into the floor. This on top of having to deal with my bosses ill-mannered bratty kids run roughshod around the establishment like they owned the place. Tact helps A LOT, but there is no safe way of doing it really. Ironically the best behaved kids in the venue were mine, and they're both autistic.


whoa, hold the phone.


They allow CHILDREN in bars in the UK?

In Canada you're not allowed in a bar, period, if you're not 19 or older.


If it serves food then yes they do. A pub will often have 2 rooms. A bar which is adults only and is where all the young rowdy ones hang out and a lounge which is more civilised, is where food is served and where the oldies sit and have their sherries on a Sunday afternoon.



indiana
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14 Sep 2010, 7:08 am

Allowing children to scream, squeal and generally make a nuisance of themselves in a public place is anti-social and does no favour to those children since they will never learn how to behave in a civilized manner. In the UK it's not just in restaurants and on aircraft - too often children will make life hell in ANY public place and the parents concerned seem to find it amusing and acceptable behaviour.



mrluckybob
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14 Sep 2010, 7:30 am

What a rubbish rule. Kids Neurotypical or special needs children can display different emotions just as adults do, they shouldn't have to be quiet just because somebody has forgotten them to was once a infant, toddler, preschooler, and grade school child. :roll:


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Macbeth
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14 Sep 2010, 8:08 am

MotherKnowsBest wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
Macbeth wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
Macbeth wrote:
Where I worked, the greatest problem we had with parents not controlling their children was pikey mothers letting their children try and steal cigarettes from behind the bar. The adults were by FAR the worst behaved over any child in the place. Often they acted more like children than their children did, whilst their poor children sat quietly and stoically tolerating their idiot parents excesses.


That sounds annoying as hell, I forgot that you'd been behind the stick before, that can be a great gig or a pretty rough one depending on the spot. For me, all the really stupid problems actually happened when I worked at a delivery restaurant, people would do stuff like call the cops because they tried to scam free food from us and we wouldn't give it to them. :roll:


Liability being what it is in the UK, I have been in the unfortunate position of having to control (or request control of) other peoples children. That or see the venue get sued into the floor. This on top of having to deal with my bosses ill-mannered bratty kids run roughshod around the establishment like they owned the place. Tact helps A LOT, but there is no safe way of doing it really. Ironically the best behaved kids in the venue were mine, and they're both autistic.


whoa, hold the phone.


They allow CHILDREN in bars in the UK?

In Canada you're not allowed in a bar, period, if you're not 19 or older.


If it serves food then yes they do. A pub will often have 2 rooms. A bar which is adults only and is where all the young rowdy ones hang out and a lounge which is more civilised, is where food is served and where the oldies sit and have their sherries on a Sunday afternoon.[/quote

Yup. All depends on what sort of licence you have as to when children have to leave, where they can be etc.


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Asp-Z
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14 Sep 2010, 11:58 am

On the subject of kids in bars in the UK: they can also have booze if their parents consent to it as long as it's at home.



Last edited by Asp-Z on 19 Sep 2010, 5:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

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14 Sep 2010, 1:57 pm

In the UK, a child between 5 and 18 can consume alcohol in a pub if a parent or guardian has bought it for them.

As for the basic question, I see too much absolutism here.

Yes, it is parents' role to exercise control and discipline of their children, but that does not necessarily mean that every noise must be immediately and forcefully suppressed.

Context, as some posters have alluded to, is important. In a theatre or cinema, disruption is a significantly greater nuisance than in a restaurant. In a store, a child can be taken outside and allowed to calm down; in an airplane no such option exists.

I, for one, am quite prepared to tolerate a basic level of noise that is commesurate with the context. I will tolerate more in a McDonald's, less in a public library. Where noise begings to reach my threshold, I will look to see if a parent or guardian is making an effort to deal with it--if so, I will stay out of it. Where the noise breaches my tolerance threshhold and the parent is making insufficient effforts to address the cause, only then will I speak to someone to address the issue.


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indiana
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14 Sep 2010, 2:34 pm

visagrunt wrote:
Where noise begings to reach my threshold, I will look to see if a parent or guardian is making an effort to deal with it--if so, I will stay out of it. Where the noise breaches my tolerance threshhold and the parent is making insufficient effforts to address the cause, only then will I speak to someone to address the issue.

When I complained to a librarian she said that she and other staff felt the same but had been told by those in authority not to say anything in case it upset the parents. In a supermarket when a checkout worker made a face at the level of screaming I asked her why no one said anything and she said it was against managment policy "in case parents were upset". Didn't matter about the rest of us apparently.