Serial Murderer on the loose in Suffolk

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Joined: 2 Sep 2006
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12 Dec 2006, 5:23 pm

Five prostitutes have been found dead and naked in random country lanes of Suffolk. There is a new Jack the Ripper out there.

TheMachine1
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12 Dec 2006, 5:27 pm

Yeah a quick search of WP I see we have two members from Suffolk.

Quatermass
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12 Dec 2006, 5:57 pm

Any news items on it? Whitechapel, Yorkshire, and now Suffolk. Jolly Jack has left quite a memetic legacy.

Talking of the Ripper (Whitechapel), I have an interesting paper from a profiling journal that states that in 6 of 11 speculated victims, there was identical signature. And the Ripper's signature is in fact pretty rare in known homicides.

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Louise
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12 Dec 2006, 7:25 pm

TheMachine1 wrote:

Yeah a quick search of WP I see we have two members from Suffolk.

The other Suffolk poster is male, and in a different town, so should hopefully be ok.

I, however, am young, female, and live in the town that the women went missing from ... even near the area in which some of the bodies were discovered. :S (link) But eh, no worries - I'll make sure I only go out at daylight and watch my back and stuff.

sociable_hermit
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12 Dec 2006, 7:34 pm

Be careful, Louise!

HOWEVER: It seems the killer has a loathing of prostitutes, so provided you're not leaving business cards in call boxes at the moment, you shouldn't have anything to fear.
:wink:

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Panik
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12 Dec 2006, 7:35 pm

Does he only kill prostitutes? Guess if hes not caught regular women could be next.. hmm serial killers what a morbid fascination that is.

sociable_hermit
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12 Dec 2006, 7:39 pm

Sorry that was meant to be funny in a totally unthinkable kinda way....

Stupid AS twisted sense of humour.

Louise, be careful. Always carry a phone and an alarm, tell people where you are going and how long you'll be gone, and don't go anywhere ill-lit or remotely dodgy. If you live alone, consider moving back in with your parents for a while, if you can.

I dunno why I told you that, I'm sure you're more than capable of working it out for yourself.

I'm going to shut up now! :oops:

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TheMachine1
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12 Dec 2006, 7:42 pm

sociable_hermit wrote:

Be careful, Louise!

HOWEVER: It seems the killer has a loathing of prostitutes, so provided you're not leaving business cards in call boxes at the moment, you shouldn't have anything to fear.
:wink:

Oh dear(calls mom to check on her visit to the UK)......

TM1: Moms hows bussiness over their

TM1_mom: these limies are trying to scare your dear old mom outta work TM1

TM1: Becarefull mom use protection

TM1_mom: your mom never leaves home with out her 12" metalic...........

------Censored by WP------

TM1: Too much info mom.

Gamester
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12 Dec 2006, 7:58 pm

Hmm....that's nowhere near where I am, but I'm sure that some satelite is pointing that way. just make sure you give it a clear shot if you are attacked, that way the cops can get him.

werbert
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12 Dec 2006, 11:57 pm

Hey, guys I just got back from a nice trip to Suffolk. Did I miss anything?

*Kicks bloody knife under table*

What?

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13 Dec 2006, 2:33 am

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

Not funny Werbert.

Tequila
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13 Dec 2006, 2:43 am

I think it's time to get this legalised over here. I believe in the free-market - if these ladies have something to sell that a man (or, indeed, another woman!) wants to buy, who should stop them? Have them registered, tested and mugged by the Government just as any other worker might be and keep them to the industrial estates.

Gamester
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13 Dec 2006, 2:52 am

like.........uhm...............Holland?

Quatermass
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13 Dec 2006, 3:08 am

Tequila wrote:

You're the very image of a modern caring citizen. :roll:

I'm hoping that was irony.

Let's try putting that first sentence to "Modern Major General".....

Seriously though, five deaths, and they should be on the way to knowing his MO and signature, as long as they don't get Paul Britton on the case....

Now Britton....

He's the very image of a modern major imbecile.....

How did that 8-Bit Theater version go?

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Tequila
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13 Dec 2006, 3:15 am

Er... eh?

Quatermass
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13 Dec 2006, 3:22 am

Ah, excellent, I found what I wanted.

Original Lyrics wrote:

Black Mage: He is the very model of a modern major imbecile,
Fighter: I'm so happy that Black Mage finds me so irresistible,
Black Mage: My mastery of the dark arts is quite astoundable,
Fighter: And now if only what he said was somewhat credible.

Black Mage: I'm easily one of the greatest intellectuals.
Thief: Not to mention maybe just a little egotistical,
Black Mage: Ruling the world, for me, will soon be attainable,
Fighter: And to think that all I wanted was some armor that's invincible!

My new version=

Robert Ressler: He is the very model of a modern major imbecile,
Britton: I'm so happy the public finds me so irresistible,
My mastery of profiling is quite astoundable,
Ressler: And now if only what he said was somewhat credible.

Britton: I'm easily one of the greatest intellectuals.
Ressler: Not to mention maybe just a little egotistical,
Britton: Ruling the world, for me, will soon be attainable,
Cop: And to think that all I wanted was a crim that's arrestable!

Note: The song is "Modern Major General", copyright Gilbert and Sullivan. The "Modern Major Imbecile" lyrics were written by the creators of the "8-Bit Theater" flash animation. Blatant stealing, I mean, lyric substitution and singer substitution by me. Real life people in this song are used with satiric intent, and little apology is given in unfavourable viewing. I like Robert Ressler, but not Britton. (It shows, huh?)

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