Husband Drugs & Rapes Wife

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He will only serve the 24 days he has already spent in jail. But will have to serve 8 years of home detention.

Washington Post

So my question is: is this sentence appropriate to the crime committed? It seems from the lightness of the sentence that the judge may feel that their marriage mitigates the severity of the crime. But I don't think that that marriage is a licence to rape your spouse.

Here's another article from a less scrutible source:

Mail Online

From this article:

Seems like kind of a light sentence for sure.

I feel sorry for any woman that visits him at home.She better not eat or drink anything while there.

I think it's sick. Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick.

BUT. The fact is, in this time and this place, in the predominating culture in this country, a marriage contract does, indeed, have a "sex clause."

Some people put it under "love." Some people put it under "honor." Some people put it under "cherish" (or "obey," depending on just how antiquated the marriage vows your particular preacher uses happen to be). Some people put it under, "Forsaking all others," on the assumption that the unspoken agreement is, "If I agree to forsake all others, I'd better be getting plenty of YOU."

It makes me want to vomit, but that is how it is.

I thought it wasn't, back when I got married. We even talked about it. We agreed that, although we both understood that "sexual gratification" ranks in the bottom tier (the most basic necessities) on Maslow's hierarchy and should be made available if at all practical, there was NOT a "sex clause" in the marriage contract. We agreed that there was no, "You should get it so often, for so long, in such and such a manner."

And then birth control pills thrashed my libido. And once that was over, we had a kid. And PPD. Both of which take quite a bite out of your sex life. Then two kids, then three kids. And PPD plus regular depression. And... And... And...

There is an unspoken understanding-- one that WILL NOT BE SPOKEN, even if you approach it directly-- that, within a marriage, there will be sex and the sex will be good. Like, dating-good. "I am putting on these lacy underwear and getting this body paint to impress you" good.

I don't like it. But it is definitely a fact of the unspoken culture of marriage in America (and for that matter probably anywhere).

I think he ought to rot in jail. I think that repeatedly drugging and raping women (make that people) in general ought to land you rotting in jail. Doing it to someone who (presumably) trusted you enough to marry you ought to be the same or worse, certainly not a lesser offense, in the eyes of the law.

But there's de jure, and then there's de facto. The way it ought to be, and the way it is.

They usually ain't the same thing.

If that rapist in Montana had his disgustingly light sentence reversed, and was resentenced, then I think that should be done in this case, as well.

Is it normal for a judge to tell the victim to forgive the criminal and "move on"?

That is spousal rape. I've had people tell me that it's spousal rape when my husband has woken me up with sex, or when I haven't wanted to and he did and he kept on trying and I just did it to shut him up. When I said no it wasn't, I was told that I must believe that spousal rape is ok.

What that guy did is NOT ok and he needs to be locked up for it. The drugging her first is even more concerning because it tells me that either she was going to tell him no and he couldn't deal with being told no and just having to go in the bathroom for a few minutes with a magazine or that he just refuses to take no for an answer, or maybe he gets off on her being helpless and unconscious. I think he should have gotten additional time for taping it because what in the world was he doing with those videos? He was probably showing them to people!

Dude needs to be locked up with the other rapists, because that's exactly what it is. It's not like doing it with your wife when ya'll are both drunk and she passed out when she got in the bed with you or something. Especially if they were getting along at the time and she would have done it if she wasn't passed out.

Also, why didn't he get extra time for drugging her? That's the most illegal of all the things he's done. There is a sort of unspoken consent to sex when you marry something, except for when you are mad at them and say no, so I don't think it's evil to have sex with a spouse thats passed out, but drugging them? What did he use? Where did he get it? And what was going on in that marriage so bad that he had to use drugs to get what being nice to her would have gotten him?

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