‘Never have five letters cut so deep’: Man takes heartbreaki

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AspieUtah
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23 Sep 2016, 8:05 pm

Fox13Now.com wrote:
‘Never have five letters cut so deep’: Man takes heartbreaking photo at son’s school
Posted 2:31 pm, September 23, 2016, by Tribune Media Wire

ROCKWAY, N.J. – A New Jersey father who recently attended his son’s back-to-school night posted a photo on Facebook that many people are calling heartbreaking.

Bob Cornelius prefaces the Facebook post by explaining that his son Christopher is on the autistic spectrum.

When he went to Christopher’s back-to-school night, he saw a project his son completed in class. His son was asked to list his favorite food, sports, television shows, etc.

Cornelius took a picture of it before reading the entire thing, but when he got home and looked back at the picture, something very sad stood out to him.

Christopher was supposed to write who his friends are, and his response was “No one....”

http://fox13now.com/2016/09/23/never-ha ... ns-school/


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Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


Misslizard
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23 Sep 2016, 8:21 pm

Not what a parent wants to hear.Sad,and true for so many.


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auntblabby
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23 Sep 2016, 8:27 pm

:(



AspieUtah
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23 Sep 2016, 8:41 pm

I like that Christopher's dad has suggested a way for "friends" to contact Christopher:

"If you would like to send Christopher a friendly note, you can mail it to:

Christopher Cornelius
96 Valley View Drive
Rockaway NJ 07866."

What should we say to the 11-year-old inside us?


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Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)


Misslizard
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23 Sep 2016, 8:53 pm

Id like to say it will get better,but I don't know if it will.
Some want friends,I don't know what to say to that.Maybe they will find some later on.If not,be friends with books,art,music,animals,nature,all that inspires you.


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auntblabby
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23 Sep 2016, 10:18 pm

i'd tell him that when I was his age It was the same for me, and that he will learn to make friends with nature all around him. but i'm not sure he's ready to hear that.



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23 Sep 2016, 11:20 pm

Yeah, I made a comment on this, but some of the responses weren't great. They don't understand that I do try to make friends; it's that I don't know how. One guy said that he was calling me out and asked me to examine my "behavior traits" and said that it was stupid that I'm in college and can't figure out how to make friends and hold conversations, as if my age has anything to do with it. And someone else said that I should be more friendly to people I go to school with. This is what I wrote, if anyone's curious:

Quote:
I'm on the spectrum and don't have any friends either. This is very typical of many of us, and we're not all so lucky to have our stories go viral. I'm in college and eat lunch and dinner alone every day. I want someone to be with, but I don't know how to make friends and hold a conversation. So yes, to anyone reading this, if you see someone who doesn't quite fit the "typical" person, just do something with them. Get to know them. Because there is a lot under our surfaces that is just waiting to be discovered if someone would give us the chance.



auntblabby
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23 Sep 2016, 11:45 pm

Grammar Geek wrote:
Yeah, I made a comment on this, but some of the responses weren't great. They don't understand that I do try to make friends; it's that I don't know how. One guy said that he was calling me out and asked me to examine my "behavior traits" and said that it was stupid that I'm in college and can't figure out how to make friends and hold conversations, as if my age has anything to do with it. And someone else said that I should be more friendly to people I go to school with. This is what I wrote, if anyone's curious:

Quote:
I'm on the spectrum and don't have any friends either. This is very typical of many of us, and we're not all so lucky to have our stories go viral. I'm in college and eat lunch and dinner alone every day. I want someone to be with, but I don't know how to make friends and hold a conversation. So yes, to anyone reading this, if you see someone who doesn't quite fit the "typical" person, just do something with them. Get to know them. Because there is a lot under our surfaces that is just waiting to be discovered if someone would give us the chance.

One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. -Vincent van Gogh, painter (30 Mar 1853-1890)



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23 Sep 2016, 11:53 pm

The father's a real Sweet Pea for sharing that picture.


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auntblabby
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23 Sep 2016, 11:55 pm

god bless them both :star:



auntblabby
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24 Sep 2016, 1:16 am

here is a letter which has been vetted and people here may borrow from it in crafting their own letters to Christopher-

"Dear Christopher, my name is [state your name], I have been on this earth for a few decades and might have gone through some what you might be going through, as I have "been there" as well, a good while ago. Kids your age and older can be mightily cruel to one another, treating each other thoughtlessly. I believe your destiny in your life, should you choose to accept it, is to counter that, and be kind to people and be a light in this world to counteract the darkness you see around you. You will grow up and come into your own circle of like minds that welcome and celebrate you, just give it a little more time. Do not despair."



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24 Sep 2016, 5:33 am

I don't see anything heartbreaking about it. What I find surprising, though, is that the boy wasn't punished for that answer, since it could easily be deemed an insult to all his classmates, as if he thinks he's oh so much better than 'em all. In my experience, neurotypicals are very big on making sure you don't think you're better than anyone, for any reason, no matter what the facts are. We already know how dangerous it is to try to reason with most people. At the very least, when I was a kid his age, I'd have been forced to write some names there so I didn't make the class or the teachers look bad. The original answer would certainly have never been shown publicly, and I don't even think this was a bad thing, as it'd have only saved me from further ridicule and bullying.

Now I wonder what his parents are going to do, but I don't expect it to benefit him at all. Mine decided early enough there was something seriously wrong with me, which meant I was never given the same freedoms and opportunities other kids from a similar social background usually had, because, you know, unlike them, I was defective. Making friends became a duty, not something to do for pleasure, and one impossible to fulfill at that, which doomed me to perpetual guilt. I learned to see other people as infinitely superior to me, and to let them abuse me, thinking I deserved it. I never got a faint sense of the true importance of being ready to defend yourself till my mid twenties, and, by then, it was way, way too late to do much about it, considering I hadn't managed to survive without depending on my parents, either (it didn't help that they profoundly disliked the idea of me working while they were still paying for my expenses, especially the academic ones, which left me with no way to get started, and I was too isolated and ignorant to seek help elsewhere). While most of my contemporaries could focus on improving their education, choosing a career path and optimizing their chances to succeed at it, developing hobbies and making themselves interesting to prospective friends, partners and employers alike, as well as strong and able to stop others from taking advantage of them, with me it was all about psychology and "fixing" me, which not only never worked, but also hindered immensely my growth as a person.

I think the least harmful thing the boy's parents can do about their son's friendlessness is to do nothing. Of course, I don't expect any parent to accept this.


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Last edited by Spiderpig on 24 Sep 2016, 7:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

auntblabby
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24 Sep 2016, 6:17 am

my parents tried to "fix" me but it turns out I was unfixable. I was made specific to the purpose in life that I fulfill presently.



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24 Sep 2016, 6:44 am

I wonder if a copy of "The Reason I Jump" would be comforting and meaningful to him and his Dad.



auntblabby
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24 Sep 2016, 6:48 am

I wonder how many people may already have mailed him that book among others?



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24 Sep 2016, 6:51 am

auntblabby wrote:
god bless them both :star:


Yes. I hope so.