"Pillow angel" and an article regarding lobotomies

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Link: "Pillow angel"

I came across this article on a different website’s forum. The posters on that forum believed that the "right moral choice" had been made.

While I do empathise with the parent’s decision, I seriously disagree with it. I think this could have wider implications for more than just the one child.

I'm also acutely aware of the fact that we know so very little about disabilities in general, and it strikes me as massively arrogant to assume we have the right to severely alter [disable?] another human beings body based on our opinion of the best treatment. It wasn't that long ago that autistic individuals were generally considered to not have any thoughts or feelings, would we have sterilized them or stunted their growth for the sake of more convenient care?

I also strongly dislike the fact that the parent’s didn't want their child to experience getting her first period in order to "spare Ashley that drama". Whether or not "there are many profoundly disabled children who are traumatized by menstruation" is it not her human right to have her body left intact and fully functioning? While a part of me can understand why this was done, a much bigger part of me doesn’t think it is right to say "such and such has the potential to cause suffering therefore I will eliminate it rather than face it". A large part of life is about overcoming difficult things, even if you are disabled.

This procedure was obviously done just as much for the parents as it was done for the child. I'm also aware of the implications for parents who are overly "mothering" [smothering] with their children. The idea that we could keep our children as children forever due to a disability isn't as clear cut as it would appear.

One comment on the other website's forum was:

I'm in two minds as to whether or not I should reply, but does this statement strike anyone else as being incredibly over confident and short-sighted? It is one thing to state the belief that Ashley would not have had children, it is another thing to take that ability away from her entirely and irreversibly. If we start deciding who can and cannot have children based on disability, and who can and cannot make decisions about something as fundamental as stunting their own growth, are we not treading a very fine line between care and abuse?

This issue actually reminded me of lobotomies, and I came across this article [unrelated but interesting]:

Link: 'My Lobotomy': Howard Dully's Journey

The part I found interesting was:



Does that sound more like mental illness, or more like a processing/developmental disorder? Lobotomies were handed out for everything from headaches to naughty children. Daydreaming, lack of awareness, under sensitivity to light and a lack of typical emotional reactions reminded me more of autistic-spectrum disorder symptoms.

The article also mentions that he's always felt "different", and I can't help but wonder whether perhaps that has more to do with a processing disorder than the lobotomy. If the lobotomy didn't render him unable to function, then I don't think it would have affected any theoretically preexisting processing problems [considering that all a lobotomy can do is mash up bits of your brain, if it didn’t touch his brain that much then presumably the way the rest of it was wired wouldn’t have been affected?].

Anyway, just thought I’d share my thoughts, hope to hear some other people's opinions.

There was a thread regarding this poor child back when the first articles appeared on the internet. The replies were almost universally negative. Some of us were downright shocked that such a thing could happen in this day and age. It's a very sad commentary on society.

In as much as I would want to post this in an unbiased way, I am so relieved to hear that. The other website has the general consensus that it is perfectly acceptable/moral to have done this. I am appauled. I posted here because I felt that this community may have very different feelings towards the topic, which, frankly, I needed to hear for the sake of my own mental health, as I find it both frightening and depressing that people can be so short sighted and clinical about another human being’s life and body. Having said that, I am of course open to every opinion or thought someone has on the subject.

Pillow Angel....

This is complicated by the FACT that scientist and DRs are still learning about the human brain.They stated that she "probably" would not develop more then an infant capacity.....I believe that what stated about some autistics who are now on-line communicating with others and adding a lot to our community.Until they understand what the individual is experiencing(not basing it on the individuals lack of ability to communicate),then this could be applied to many people on the spectrum.

I dont understand how this "infant" could have such a reaction to the site of blood(as the mother claimed)this makes no sense to me.I do find menstration painful and would love to avoid it,but I believe there are less invassive and reversable ways to acheve this....and why should she not have breasts?If she is under the care of family,surely they should not be worried about her being sexually exploited(actually,not having breasts or a small stature which does not allow the person to fight off their sexual exploiter,hardly seems logical.)

As to the large dose of estrogen..... ,doesnt that put her at larger risk of developing cancer and estrogen can negativly effect other hormones and their balance in the body.I thought the DRs oath included.....first of all...do no harm?

I worked as a care worker with physically disabled DD clients....it was much more difficult lifting,bathing,dressing our 180pd client then our 80 pd client(whose parents may have done a similiar medical procedure to stunt his growth?).I think that is why the parents did this....for their convenience.

I ahve to say that I too think that they did it for their own convenience. There are many struggles to being a parent and perhaps even more to being the parent of an autistic child. However, I think the troubles arise from not being able to understand each other and communicate. I do not think the troubles arise from the child being "defective". I think autistic people are perfectly capable of communicating, they just can't learn to communicate the way other people do. I think the reason why they cannot learn to communicate is because they weren't given alternative ways to communicate so then they could build up on those skills. I think trying to find alternative ways to communicate with and to understand your autistic child is the best way to solve problems. At least that way they might be able to state their opinions on whether they want their bodies surgically altered. I'm sick of how parents of autistic children think that their children will never amount to anything and will never be able to communicate and make decisions for themselves. I think that finding a way to communicate with your autistic child is one of the most important things to do as a parent.

About the lobotomy issue..... ....If someone gave me an ice pick...I would have used it on the mother and the DRs who preformed the procedure.What was she complaining about.Her son didnt sound like a "monster" he sounded autistic.I dont know what year this happened but it is really scary that anyone would think a labotomy was the best solution for some one who doesnt want to give you a hug and likes the lights on in the daytime(was she just trying to save money on the electric bill?)Some people should not be allowed near children...she sounded nuerotic as hell to me.