Toothpick Wars!

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Toothpick Wars

May 18 1:42 PM US/Eastern

WASHINGTON- Pres. Bush announced on May 17 that the US military will be facing serious budget cuts in 2008 in an effort to reduce national debt.

Due to recent protests against the careless spending of the military, Bush has sent to Congress The New Strategies for Military Thriftiness Proposal. If approved as-is by Congress, several thousand Budget Consultants will be sent to US Military Bases around the world to put in place the new strategies.

Budget Consultant Martha Greene says, "The military will perhaps be left in a state of embarressment over the [budget cuts], but it is crucial to the government's act to reduce national debt that they be put in place".

Greene held a Convention on May 7, to display her new strategies for Military Thriftiness. Many of the convention-goers were disgusted with the displays saying that it was "heresy to even consider these new strategies".

Indeed it was quite appalling to watch trained military officials covort around in paper uniforms while fighting with toothpicks!

It wil be interesting to see the reactions of members of Congress when they receive the new proposal.


A display at the convention

Why don't they hold a bake sale? (And nobody will buy)!

This is so much BS on so many levels... if you're going to send our nations men to fight with an enemy who's a lot smarter than us, just to persue your own hidden agenda of world domination, at the very LEAST you can equip them adequetly enough so that the enemy doesn't mow them down like grass!

This isn't the Matrix. Real men can't dodge bullets. At the very least give them some goddamn Kelvar.