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jimmy m
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12 Jul 2019, 7:49 am

The silence was golden at a high school graduation ceremony in New York last week as classmates gave a student with autism and noise sensitivity a silent ovation.

Students barely touched their palms together in largely inaudible claps with hushed enthusiasm for their classmate Jack Higgins, who held his fingers to his ears as he walked on stage to accept his diploma from Carmel High School in Putnam County, N.Y., anticipating raucous cheers.

Instead, his classmates stood quietly and allowed him to enjoy his moment in silence.

Source: New York high school grad with autism honored with 'silent ovation'



envirozentinel
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12 Jul 2019, 8:01 am

That's great and shows respect! Thanks for sharing something positive.


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ASPartOfMe
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12 Jul 2019, 5:18 pm

Kool


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eikonabridge
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12 Jul 2019, 11:43 pm

jimmy m wrote:
The silence was golden at a high school graduation ceremony in New York last week as classmates gave a student with autism and noise sensitivity a silent ovation. ...

The thing is, people don't address the white elephant in the room: underdevelopment. People only want to scratch the surface, but never bother to address the root cause. So, to most people, the way to address sensory issues, is by eliminating external stimuli. With that approach, there is little wonder that many autistic children end up underdeveloped, stuck with sensory issues for the rest of their lives.

You can't grow a tree from its leaves.
Image
You need to grow it from its roots.
Image

The caption of the image below says: 'He still plays with sand for hours at a time.' (See https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=377845.)
Image

And that is how our autistic children end up underdeveloped. Our society doesn't do a darn thing to develop these children from their interests. So, they are stuck with sensory issues.

See also: https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=296628, and understand how elevators got rid of some sensory issues from my son, and it's not what you think how it worked.

Deep reasoning skills is what these children really need. For instance, my daughter would drag her feet every time I ask her to get ready to go out (e.g. to play sport), or would frown at some salad items that I put on her plate. I would then ask her: "Is it true that parents are made to bother their children?" And she would say: "Ugh... no." I then would tell her: "Isn't it right that parents' responsibility is to raise their children so that they can become strong and independent?" And she would say: "Yes." And then I'd ask her: "So one day when you have your own children, what would you do?" And she would smile and say: "Probably the same thing." And then, she would head out with me, or eat those salad items I put on her plate. Trust me, once children get to that level of reasoning skills, they'll be able to handle a lot more, than if you just put them through all those OT or sensory management strategies.

Sensory issues happen not because autistic people are defective. They happen simply because of lack of connections inside their brains. And the lack of connections comes from underdevelopment.

A good analogy is this. Whenever I am suffering from eating spicy food, do you know what I do? I drink some nearly-boiling water. Surely, you suffer for a few seconds, but afterwards it's all heaven... absolutely peaceful, virtually instantly. It works every single time. However, to develop and convince yourself that drinking hot water is the best solution to solve spicy food problems, you need to use your brain. (Google would help, too.) You need to step over your fear threshold. And you can only achieve that, when you can reason.

Sensory issues are not the problems. They are the symptoms: symptoms of underdevelopment. They are the leaves, not the roots. You don't deal with the root causes, you are stuck with sensory issues, forever.


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CockneyRebel
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13 Jul 2019, 12:03 am

That's a very respectful thing that his classmates did for him. We need more positive stories like this one.


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eikonabridge
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13 Jul 2019, 1:44 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
That's a very respectful thing that his classmates did for him. We need more positive stories like this one.

I had to smile at your answer. Nope. In my opinion, we need fewer stories like this one. I hope one day we will stop hearing such stories altogether. That'll be the day when we, as a society, have finally learned how to raise autistic children.

As I always tell people, I don't look down on neurotypical people, but I certainly don't look up to them. We are equals, ounce by ounce. I don't have the inferiority complex shown by so many people in this forum. I don't look down on myself. And that is the way how I raise my children.


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envirozentinel
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13 Jul 2019, 2:20 am

I'm one of those who see myself,others on the spectrum, and NTs as different but equal. Not inferior in any way as we have special talents, skills and abilities just as they do.


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ASPartOfMe
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13 Jul 2019, 5:10 am

eikonabridge wrote:
jimmy m wrote:
The silence was golden at a high school graduation ceremony in New York last week as classmates gave a student with autism and noise sensitivity a silent ovation. ...

The thing is, people don't address the white elephant in the room: underdevelopment. People only want to scratch the surface, but never bother to address the root cause. So, to most people, the way to address sensory issues, is by eliminating external stimuli. With that approach, there is little wonder that many autistic children end up underdeveloped, stuck with sensory issues for the rest of their lives.

You can't grow a tree from its leaves.
Image
You need to grow it from its roots.
Image

The caption of the image below says: 'He still plays with sand for hours at a time.' (See https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=377845.)
Image

And that is how our autistic children end up underdeveloped. Our society doesn't do a darn thing to develop these children from their interests. So, they are stuck with sensory issues.

See also: https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=296628, and understand how elevators got rid of some sensory issues from my son, and it's not what you think how it worked.

Deep reasoning skills is what these children really need. For instance, my daughter would drag her feet every time I ask her to get ready to go out (e.g. to play sport), or would frown at some salad items that I put on her plate. I would then ask her: "Is it true that parents are made to bother their children?" And she would say: "Ugh... no." I then would tell her: "Isn't it right that parents' responsibility is to raise their children so that they can become strong and independent?" And she would say: "Yes." And then I'd ask her: "So one day when you have your own children, what would you do?" And she would smile and say: "Probably the same thing." And then, she would head out with me, or eat those salad items I put on her plate. Trust me, once children get to that level of reasoning skills, they'll be able to handle a lot more, than if you just put them through all those OT or sensory management strategies.

Sensory issues happen not because autistic people are defective. They happen simply because of lack of connections inside their brains. And the lack of connections comes from underdevelopment.

A good analogy is this. Whenever I am suffering from eating spicy food, do you know what I do? I drink some nearly-boiling water. Surely, you suffer for a few seconds, but afterwards it's all heaven... absolutely peaceful, virtually instantly. It works every single time. However, to develop and convince yourself that drinking hot water is the best solution to solve spicy food problems, you need to use your brain. (Google would help, too.) You need to step over your fear threshold. And you can only achieve that, when you can reason.

Sensory issues are not the problems. They are the symptoms: symptoms of underdevelopment. They are the leaves, not the roots. You don't deal with the root causes, you are stuck with sensory issues, forever.


I was not given any accommodations for my undiagnosed autism back in the 60s and 70s because nobody knew any better. “Free Range” parenting was normal parenting. Lack of coddling forced me to learn coping methods, to figure out my strengths and weakness. What free range parenting did not do is make my autistic traits or other core elements go away or make me able accomplish anything I or anybody wanted me to. I went down plenty of rabbit holes out of the belief that trying hard and will power will solve all problems. There were failures that might have not happened had I not spent my time trying to develop skills I am not wired to develop out of my own volition or because I was forced to spend time by adults.

The clear all obstacles “lawnmower parenting” of today is a massive overcorrection to free range parenting. The best way is somewhere in between and even more importantly recognizing children are individuals, what works for one child will be totally wrong for another one.


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Persephone29
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13 Jul 2019, 6:34 am

Heartwarming :heart:


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