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"Donald Trump Stole Pancakes"

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Darmok
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08 Oct 2019, 3:33 am

This is not from the Onion. This is not from the Babylon Bee. This is from Newsweek. (*checks calendar* And no, today isn't April 1st either.) :lol:


DONALD TRUMP STOLE PANCAKES AND FORGOT A RELATIVE WAS DEAD WHILE VISITING FAMILY, COUSIN CLAIMS

A relative of President Donald Trump has accused the self-proclaimed billionaire of being a pancake thief, having stolen a handful of flat cakes while on vacation at his late mother's former home in Scotland.

A distant cousin of the president, Alice Mackay—related to Trump through his mother's family, the McLeods—said the commander-in-chief is an unpleasant man who has never used any of his wealth to help his mother's local community....

Mackay recalled one morning when the future president committed two social faux pas in quick succession. "He was here one morning I was busy making pancakes and he had forgotten my husband had died," she said. "He put a few pancakes in [his] pocket and never said 'cheerio' or anything."

The White House did not immediately respond to Newsweek's request for comment regarding the allegation of theft.

https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-s ... ms-1459388


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cyberdad
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08 Oct 2019, 3:42 am

Yes I believe he is petty enough to steal pancakes from his poor relatives and put it in his pocket. Hope he got wacked with a drycleaning bill for the maple syrup in his dacks :lol:



EzraS
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08 Oct 2019, 4:59 am

Pancakegate. Impeach.



Darmok
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08 Oct 2019, 5:53 am

EzraS wrote:
Pancakegate. Impeach.

Mmmmm, peach pancakes. :chef: 8)


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Persephone29
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08 Oct 2019, 6:23 am

" The horror, the horror!" :skull:


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Trueno
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08 Oct 2019, 6:25 am

Surely that's a new low for the Trumpster.

Peach pancakes? I prefer good old fashioned goo on my pancakes.


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EzraS
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08 Oct 2019, 6:47 am

This just in; a second cousin has come forward.



Bravo5150
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08 Oct 2019, 6:50 am

Who all benefited from the theft of the pancakes? Did the pancakes contain any surveillance equipment that Mr. Trump intended to use against rivals?



Persephone29
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08 Oct 2019, 6:51 am

EzraS wrote:
This just in; a second cousin has come forward.



:lol: :lol: :lol:

He/she is afraid to reveal identity, due to death threats!


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Persephone29
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08 Oct 2019, 6:54 am

The recipe was changed a few months before the incident. It is believed the cousins knew that this was in fact NOT the recipe used by Trump's mother's mother. Therefore, he is not a legitimate heir to the recipe or even welcome to eat a pancake, at all.


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Bravo5150
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08 Oct 2019, 6:56 am

Persephone29 wrote:
The recipe was changed a few months before the incident. It is believed the cousins knew that this was in fact NOT the recipe used by Trumps mother's mother. Therefore, he is not a legitimate heir to the recipe or even welcome to eat a pancake, at all.



Did the new recipe include silicone chips and copper wire?



Persephone29
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08 Oct 2019, 6:58 am

Bravo5150 wrote:
Persephone29 wrote:
The recipe was changed a few months before the incident. It is believed the cousins knew that this was in fact NOT the recipe used by Trumps mother's mother. Therefore, he is not a legitimate heir to the recipe or even welcome to eat a pancake, at all.



Did the new recipe include silicone chips and copper wire?


There's an ongoing investigation.


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Bravo5150
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08 Oct 2019, 7:15 am

Persephone29 wrote:
Bravo5150 wrote:
Persephone29 wrote:
The recipe was changed a few months before the incident. It is believed the cousins knew that this was in fact NOT the recipe used by Trumps mother's mother. Therefore, he is not a legitimate heir to the recipe or even welcome to eat a pancake, at all.



Did the new recipe include silicone chips and copper wire?


There's an ongoing investigation.


When is the investigation expected to be concluded? Are investigators going to be looking into whether or not Mr. Trump fraudulently used a sharpie to indicate ownership of the pancakes?



EzraS
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08 Oct 2019, 7:39 am

I just found out this somehow ties in with Trump withholding tip money that was supposed to go to IHOP.



EzraS
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08 Oct 2019, 7:42 am

Bravo5150 wrote:
Persephone29 wrote:
Bravo5150 wrote:
Persephone29 wrote:
The recipe was changed a few months before the incident. It is believed the cousins knew that this was in fact NOT the recipe used by Trumps mother's mother. Therefore, he is not a legitimate heir to the recipe or even welcome to eat a pancake, at all.



Did the new recipe include silicone chips and copper wire?


There's an ongoing investigation.


When is the investigation expected to be concluded? Are investigators going to be looking into whether or not Mr. Trump fraudulently used a sharpie to indicate ownership of the pancakes?


The investigation will continue for 3 years and then morph into a waffle crime.



Bravo5150
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08 Oct 2019, 7:44 am

EzraS wrote:
I just found out this somehow ties in with Trump withholding tip money that was supposed to go to IHOP.


This is unrelated to the IHOP incident, however an investigation is looking into whether or not the tip money was being sent to a Ukraine bank account.