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Man In Florida Has An Encounter With A Burglar Sucking On

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AnonymousAnonymous
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04 Jan 2020, 6:42 pm

Full Title:
Man In Florida Has An Encounter With A Burglar Sucking On His Toes

https://wgntv.com/2020/01/04/florida-man-wakes-to-find-burglar-sucking-his-toes-deputies-say-tmw/


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04 Jan 2020, 8:20 pm

I am not sure what to say about this except that it was humorous.



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04 Jan 2020, 9:13 pm

Florida reminds me of Queensland/Northern territory in Australia. I think warm tropical temperatures exacerbate craziness in people not adapted to tropical climes.



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04 Jan 2020, 11:56 pm

cyberdad wrote:
I think warm tropical temperatures exacerbate craziness in people not adapted to tropical climes.


It's unfortunately true.


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05 Jan 2020, 2:48 am

Is "toes" a euphemism?

As the suspect grabbed the victims's genitals (the big toe)?


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05 Jan 2020, 3:06 am

TheRobotLives wrote:
Is "toes" a euphemism?

As the suspect grabbed the victims's genitals (the big toe)?


No it pertains to his pedal digits



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05 Jan 2020, 3:12 am

I’m glad the burglar is caught.

I envy his flexibility—but I still hope he spends time in jail.



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05 Jan 2020, 3:13 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I envy his flexibility

:lol:



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05 Jan 2020, 11:46 am

Article unavailable to us norse. Was the burglar sucking his own toes, or Florida Man's?


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05 Jan 2020, 11:51 am

Wolfram87 wrote:
Article unavailable to us norse. Was the burglar sucking his own toes, or Florida Man's?


Appears to be that he was sucking the home owners toes.



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05 Jan 2020, 12:11 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Florida reminds me of Queensland/Northern territory in Australia. I think warm tropical temperatures exacerbate craziness in people not adapted to tropical climes.


From what I have read of Queensland, this sounds about right. There are real crazy people in Florida and I believe the same is noted for Queensland. Didnt' know about the Northern Territory, but they are also kind of crazy since they don't want to be a state - forgot what Australia calls them, Provinces? - and have input on the goings on of the country.

Or maybe that is an easier way to stay sane. :D

Floridians can engage in crazy behavior year round without the dampening effects of icy cold winters. Even most nights are warm. 24/7 x 365 weather for maximum weirdness.


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05 Jan 2020, 12:58 pm

So..

The suspect broke into the guy's home. Did NOT take anything of value. But DID suck the homeowner's toes?

And then told the homeowner "he was only there to suck people's toes"?

Implying that he, the intruder, is both a serial toe sucker, and a serial breaker and enterer of strangers' homes...for the sole purpose of ...finding folks asleep at home so he can...satisfy his own toe sucking needs?



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05 Jan 2020, 2:43 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Florida reminds me of Queensland/Northern territory in Australia. I think warm tropical temperatures exacerbate craziness in people not adapted to tropical climes.


With Florida, it's more complicated than just that. It has open records laws that mean these stories are more likely to be picked up than some other states. It tends to attract people who are homeless or at high risk of ending up homeless, and the state's political leanings mean it doesn't have much of a social safety net and those with little in the way of employable skills are going to struggle to provide for themselves.

A deep matrix of bad decisions is the foundation of most Florida Man stories, but not all of the bad decisions were made by the individual the story is about.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/201 ... stereotype


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05 Jan 2020, 2:44 pm

blazingstar wrote:
From what I have read of Queensland, this sounds about right. There are real crazy people in Florida and I believe the same is noted for Queensland. Didnt' know about the Northern Territory, but they are also kind of crazy since they don't want to be a state - forgot what Australia calls them, Provinces?


Australia has states, Canada has provinces.


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Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


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05 Jan 2020, 2:51 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
So..

The suspect broke into the guy's home. Did NOT take anything of value. But DID suck the homeowner's toes?

And then told the homeowner "he was only there to suck people's toes"?

Implying that he, the intruder, is both a serial toe sucker, and a serial breaker and enterer of strangers' homes...for the sole purpose of ...finding folks asleep at home so he can...satisfy his own toe sucking needs?


This just in: a Florida serial burglar has just made a ransom demand to law enforcement. He promises to cease breaking into people's houses to suck their toes IF authorities mandate a publication of models showing off their pedicures.



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05 Jan 2020, 2:57 pm

Although it isn't, it sounds like an Onion story!


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