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cyberdad
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27 Jan 2022, 1:38 am

League_Girl wrote:
That is why people say you cannot take back what you said. So this taught me that when I am mad, I better not say something I would never say when I am calm. If someone says something racist when they are raging, they were already racist to begin with but never expressed it and they kept it to themselves. There are hidden racists and they know to keep it to themselves. Don't ask, don't tell.

And I have heard about elderlies becoming racist when they start to get dementia and I say dementia doesn't cause them to be racist, they are just showing it now because of their disease.


I take your point and yes this man being Italian means he might be sensitive about people saying stuff against Italians but it doesn't mean he doesn't carry the same prejudice himself about PoC and the stigma of being an immigrant (I suspect the staff were hispanic) that regular "schmegular" whitefolk carry.

I'll give the dude a free pass on this one because of his son's allergy but he needs to educate himself about buying foods for his child or else his kid is going to have more episodes like this one.



cyberdad
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27 Jan 2022, 1:40 am

League_Girl wrote:
Even if he had ordered a none peanut butter drink, it is possible the machine the employee used had peanut contamination on it. I mean as a parent, you should know that if a place sells peanut product drinks, then their equipment will be contaminated. You can still see if they have special equipment they never use for peanut drinks.


Yep, I think he felt guilty and wanted to pass the blame soley on the employees. He will get an earful from the kid's mother though.



Dox47
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27 Jan 2022, 2:21 am

cyberdad wrote:
Authorities said Iannazzo also made comments towards an employee that referenced their immigration status.

I'd say the part of the brain that controls self-awareness must have switched off. His grandfather or great-grandfather probably got called names as well.


That's just it though, that part of the brain only cares about survival, and once it gets tripped it can override the conscious mind, including saying vicious things the person would never normally say. The fight or flight response gets triggered by the adrenaline of a conflict, and the lizard brain goes looking for any advantage it can find, including saying things it thinks will hurt the other person and throw them off balance, it's the same reason tourette syndrome can cause people to randomly curse or shout racial slurs due to a misfiring neuron in that part of the brain. I always wondered about that, why it was curse words that came out instead of other random words, as if the disorder knew which words were bad, but it turns out that cursing, including taboo words like slurs, is controlled by a different part of the brain than normal speech, and that's what the disorder effects.


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League_Girl
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27 Jan 2022, 11:25 am

Dox47 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Authorities said Iannazzo also made comments towards an employee that referenced their immigration status.

I'd say the part of the brain that controls self-awareness must have switched off. His grandfather or great-grandfather probably got called names as well.


That's just it though, that part of the brain only cares about survival, and once it gets tripped it can override the conscious mind, including saying vicious things the person would never normally say. The fight or flight response gets triggered by the adrenaline of a conflict, and the lizard brain goes looking for any advantage it can find, including saying things it thinks will hurt the other person and throw them off balance, it's the same reason tourette syndrome can cause people to randomly curse or shout racial slurs due to a misfiring neuron in that part of the brain. I always wondered about that, why it was curse words that came out instead of other random words, as if the disorder knew which words were bad, but it turns out that cursing, including taboo words like slurs, is controlled by a different part of the brain than normal speech, and that's what the disorder effects.


Most people with TS don't actually have swear ticks and slur ticks. This is actually rare in TS and it's only around the 10 percent that do.

Quote:
The involuntary utterance of swear words, or other inappropriate remarks, is actually only experienced by around 10% of Tourette’s sufferers.


source:

https://metro.co.uk/2018/06/07/people-t ... 20injuries.


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27 Jan 2022, 11:29 am

Doh, I listened to the news clip and the news anchor said the kid did go to the hospital. I was right the first time. Oh no, I've been gaslighted. :lol:


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cyberdad
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27 Jan 2022, 8:22 pm

Dox47 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Authorities said Iannazzo also made comments towards an employee that referenced their immigration status.

I'd say the part of the brain that controls self-awareness must have switched off. His grandfather or great-grandfather probably got called names as well.


That's just it though, that part of the brain only cares about survival, and once it gets tripped it can override the conscious mind, including saying vicious things the person would never normally say. The fight or flight response gets triggered by the adrenaline of a conflict, and the lizard brain goes looking for any advantage it can find, including saying things it thinks will hurt the other person and throw them off balance, it's the same reason tourette syndrome can cause people to randomly curse or shout racial slurs due to a misfiring neuron in that part of the brain. I always wondered about that, why it was curse words that came out instead of other random words, as if the disorder knew which words were bad, but it turns out that cursing, including taboo words like slurs, is controlled by a different part of the brain than normal speech, and that's what the disorder effects.


Yeah, I think it's reasonable he selected his words to inflict maximum pain (rather than a random jumble of disordered words). In the heat of the moment his anger made him choose to think of the worst thing to say against the employees. After the event he regretted his actions as there is no point (slurs aren't really restorative justice). Parents of children do this quite commonly.

The problem for him is that he now has explain to his family/friends why he carries these thoughts in his head that its ok to attack somebody based on their race. Among lower SES backgrounds perhaps its permissible in the social circles he moves in to openly say stuff like "all Asians are bad drivers" or "black people commit more crime" etc.

However I am willing to give the guy a pass since he may have legit thought the employees don't speak English and that's the reason they put nuts in the kids smoothie. I've also been the victim of this type of mix up (not nuts but other types of confusion) and the thought crosses my mind that if the staff member understood English they wouldn't mix up the order. But I would have the ability to not openly express my thoughts, This guy was not so discerning.



goldfish21
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30 Jan 2022, 11:54 am

Dox47 wrote:
Matrix Glitch wrote:
Thinking about it more, he was abusing and threatening children around his son's age. That's overly bad behavior. It was basically one kid making a mistake that caused harm to another kid. A dad going after and attacking a kid that way crossed the line too far. Grown man attacking teenage girls. It really doesn't get much worse than that.


So, let the legal system deal with that, that's what it's for, it's this rush to extra-judicially target peoples' employment that pisses me off, paired with the spineless management who caves in the face of internet outrage. Pre-internet, this would have been no big deal, the kids might have called the cops, or they might have just told their friends about the crazy dude who yelled at them and threw a drink, the guy might have been cited for disorderly conduct or something, maybe not in light of the shop's mistake putting his kid in the hospital, that would have been proportionate to what happened, but destroying his life for the foreseeable future is not a proportionate response to the offense. His employer shouldn't even be involved, policing their workers outside of work is not their job and shouldn't be their business, in fact it's one of the few business regulations I'd like to see enacted, a sort of anti-cancellation contract, if you will, forcing a buyout at a substantial premium if a company wants to fire someone over online controversy not related to their job.


Disagree. This was real world assault, racism, and attempting to break through the door to physically attack the staff - not some "internet thing," that someone blew out of proportion. Just because cameras wouldn't have been watching pre-internet doesn't mean he should have gotten away with it in the past. And because cameras are watching today, he's doubly dumb for doing it knowing it was being recorded. He deserves to lose his job and then some.


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Matrix Glitch
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31 Jan 2022, 2:55 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
Matrix Glitch wrote:
Thinking about it more, he was abusing and threatening children around his son's age. That's overly bad behavior. It was basically one kid making a mistake that caused harm to another kid. A dad going after and attacking a kid that way crossed the line too far. Grown man attacking teenage girls. It really doesn't get much worse than that.


So, let the legal system deal with that, that's what it's for, it's this rush to extra-judicially target peoples' employment that pisses me off, paired with the spineless management who caves in the face of internet outrage. Pre-internet, this would have been no big deal, the kids might have called the cops, or they might have just told their friends about the crazy dude who yelled at them and threw a drink, the guy might have been cited for disorderly conduct or something, maybe not in light of the shop's mistake putting his kid in the hospital, that would have been proportionate to what happened, but destroying his life for the foreseeable future is not a proportionate response to the offense. His employer shouldn't even be involved, policing their workers outside of work is not their job and shouldn't be their business, in fact it's one of the few business regulations I'd like to see enacted, a sort of anti-cancellation contract, if you will, forcing a buyout at a substantial premium if a company wants to fire someone over online controversy not related to their job.


Disagree. This was real world assault, racism, and attempting to break through the door to physically attack the staff - not some "internet thing," that someone blew out of proportion. Just because cameras wouldn't have been watching pre-internet doesn't mean he should have gotten away with it in the past. And because cameras are watching today, he's doubly dumb for doing it knowing it was being recorded. He deserves to lose his job and then some.


One can only put so much analysis into someone blowing their stack.