I wish I wasn't disabled

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I wish I wasn't disabled, but no amount of positive thinking or radically alternative ways of looking at things is going to make that come true. ASD is not my superpower. Schizophrenia/schizoaffective is not a 'spiritual awakening' that will lead to my existing on a higher plane. Without the support I get I'd struggle to maintain even the moderately healthy but rather basic level of independent living I have now.

Disability can definitely be frustrating.

My disabilities are from other things and I do not know Schizophrenia/schizoaffective from personal experience, only from a neighbor at a previous residence who was dealing with that.
There would be occasions where they would say, "It is another one of those times where I'm going to need to stay in for a couple days."
Details weren't offered and I didn't ask.

I've achieved next to sod all re things the average person would regard as such. It's 39 years since I was last an inpatient. The betting at the time was that I'd be back in psych hospital within 6 weeks. I see that as an achievement even if most others don't. Sadly others aren't so fortunate.

I see that as an achievement, too.

You recovered from a broken hip. That’s a pretty good achievement.

Please try not to feel regret for the past. Try to enjoy your present as much as possible. You’re better off than a year ago.

I'm actually pleased with how things have been mental health wise since I've been here. Not because anything much concrete can be done to reverse the damages of the past, but because I'm no longer treated as an 'awkward and demanding' nuisance. There's a level of politeness and respect that had gone totally AWOL a long time ago with my previous mental health team.

Not many people would wish they were disabled

Plenty of people wish they were not disabled

(Body identity integrity disorder)

Autism is labelled a disability for a good reason

Otherwise autism would be labelled a superpower

I’m disabled. I can’t debate out of a paper bag. I lose debates even if I know I’m right. It’s because I lack rhetorical intelligence.

I never became a leader. I am a 41-year clerk.

I wouldn’t have gone beyond the rank of Private had I been in the Army.

But I knew I had to take a path away from the Mainstream. I am fortunate I sort of successfully plied that path.

I’m still disabled, though—and it’s frustrating. You know when people KNOW you’re disabled.

You've done far better than I've done . I've never had a paid job.Many years ago there was talk of sending me to an industrial assessment centre to see what I had an aptitude for, but my then pdoc said I wasn't well enough. I've always been stuck between a rock and a hard place.On one hand not up to coping with the demands,and stress of a high powered professional job. On the other hand having poor manual skills.

You can certainly redeem yourself by being a good grandpop!

I try to do my best. I've set up a small nest egg for both my great grandchildren. I give moral support to my (s)daughter and granddaughters.

A heck of a lot better than thinking of regrets all the time, I would say.

Nothing wrong with talking about “what could have been”—but it’s good to realize you have a good role now, presently and in the future.

Firemonkey, you have beautiful grandchildren who love you. You have lots to live for. We all have weaknesses or flaws, Nobody is perfect, even those in the NT world who sell themselves as such.

I wish I was a skinny smart handsome cisgender neurotypical white man

Needless to say my worthless corpse doesn't have the potential to accomplish any of those job skills. Doesn't matter what I do. It is not happening

Meanwhile some people don't have to do (anything) and they are already what I could never achieve

The longer I live the more it seems like my "life" is like "you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear"

Nobody is perfect

There is no such thing as perfection

Nobody is good at everything

Not everyone has the same total amount of skills or potential

Not all skills are equally useful

"Life" goes on and on and on and on

@cyberdad ,You are right.

Fire monkey am very glad you have coped as well as you have ….! Keep on keeping on ..as best as you can !

Ive held down jobs. But never raised a kid, much less had grandkids.