^^^ Haha, I see what you did there.
I guess I could, but we only have one post office left for the whole city. It's inside WHSmith and there's only ever one person manning the operation - self service, passports etc., travel money, regular post. One time I had to post a parcel to China and the guy at the front of the queue was getting that service where they help you go through your whole passport application. I already had paid for and all the customs done and everything, I just needed them to check the weight and stamp the customs thingy. I think the queue was 40 minutes? Maybe I'm still in the queue and my whole life since then has been an elaborate daydream...
If you use the self checkout btw, the post office person still has to come and take the parcel off you, so if they're dealing with the queue (which they always are), there is zero advantage to using self-service. I wouldn't have the heart to go nuts at them for the PASScard lol, their spirits already look so broken.