Are expectations TOO HIGH? great article about autism...

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this is a pretty cool article in my opinion, totally agree with it.


Are expectations TOO HIGH?

"Our kids are emotional sponges. I think if you put that kind of pressure — that it's not OK who you are, it's what we need you to be — the kids hear that loud and clear," he says. "This emotional stuff — that's the bath that they're living in. So if you poison the water, even if you do it in subtle ways, they're going to react really strongly."

"Who says getting into the best college is what it's all about? There's so much pressure, but if you get in the best college, then do you have to get the best job? Then do you have to make the most money and work the most hours? That's the key to unhappiness," he says.

The bottom line for Gallagher and Konjoian is that they hope parents will feel less alone in their struggles and accept their children, imperfections and all.

"We're just asking parents to not judge their children by society's ridiculous standards or even by their own standards, but just love your children for who they are," Gallagher says.


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I agree, to many parents expect there children to be text book style. Its like they want mini prefect copies of them selves... of course they do not exist.

I feel all parents need to take a step back from time to time and really see who their child is, not what they or there parents think they should be like, but a unique individual as we all are.

I think that some people brag about their "perfect" children, too much. I used to go to a gym with a neighbour, and than have coffee with her and her friends, afterwards. Her friends kept talking about their perfect children, most of them, grown. I was starting to compare myself to those perfect grown children. It got to the point, that I just didn't want to hear it, anymore. I've also had a falling out with my neighbour, so I've stopped going to the gym, all together. That was back in 2003, so I see it as water under the bridge, now.

Too many parents treat their kids as extensions of themselves to be molded into a desired shape and not as unique individuals with their own wants, desires, and dreams, or even treat their kids as tools for improving the parents' standing in the community.

I could go on a rant about parents looking at their kids as extensions of themselves, but I’ll limit it to this:

It needs to stop. It would be nice for kids to look at life as a blank page they can do anything with instead of having to live up to what their family expects them to do with their life.

I have to say that standards have been set too high for everyone to live up to.

In The Netherlands they have some really great commercials about parents asking too much of their children.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9GQAFapUHQ[/youtube]

Give the children their game back!

As with everything else, moderation is the key. I have seen people flounder due to expectations that were both too high and too low. I know at least one person I used to go to school with who was all but ignored in favor of her far smarter brother. She tried to commit suicide on numerous occasions and, ironically, wound up murdered.

I, for one, am glad my parents expected me to succeed. If they had accepted the verdict of people who said I could never do anything, I certainly would have been dead.