News article about building a legal case against Santa.

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DNForrest
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24 Dec 2008, 9:15 am

http://www.gazettetimes.com/articles/20 ... _santa.txt

Michael_Stuart
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24 Dec 2008, 9:23 am

Well I predict the same thing will happen as the time that one person tried to sue God:

He cannot be summoned to court, nor can many of his rights be granted to him. Then there's the issue under whose jurisdiction he should be given a trial, and many other legal problems.

And of course the North Pole itself has much contested territory...

On a different note, though: Does Santa have his own country? Because if he does, then his crimes are an act of war but not crimes per se.

gina-ghettoprincess
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24 Dec 2008, 10:02 am

OK, what? Just what?

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24 Dec 2008, 11:06 am

Well, NORAD's given him clearance, so he's not violating North American airspace. And it's not a customs violation when it's a gift. And he's not tresspassing if people are happy he visits while they're asleep. And his magical reindeer aren't abused, since they're magical and can take the demands of the job (so far as I can see), plus they don't leave messes. I don't think they can really get him on anything other than dangerous flight plans and landings, and for that they'd have to document it.

I wonder what they'll say about old Father Time, for New Years?

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26 Dec 2008, 7:25 am

Anemone wrote:

I wonder what they'll say about old Father Time, for New Years?

London: "I'm sorry sir, you can't bring that huge scythe through customs."

New York: "Freeze punk" ... (ten officers leap out and tazer him.)

Glasgow: "Cool blade man ... now give me your wallet"

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26 Dec 2008, 7:32 am

I heard a *thud* followed by a frustrated groan on the night before Christmas.

I think Santa saw our Channukiah :lol:

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27 Dec 2008, 7:42 am

i always knew Santa was a criminal, i'd feel petrified thinking that a fat old man was going to break in whist i was sleeping... makes me wonder if there's any point in being good, i'd rather be naughty and not risk it :lol:

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westernwild
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29 Dec 2008, 12:39 am

TallyMan wrote:

Anemone wrote:

I wonder what they'll say about old Father Time, for New Years?

London: "I'm sorry sir, you can't bring that huge scythe through customs."

New York: "Freeze punk" ... (ten officers leap out and tazer him.)

Glasgow: "Cool blade man ... now give me your wallet"

ROFLMAO!

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Wisguy
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07 Jan 2009, 12:17 am

Anemone wrote:

Also, if you have ever seen the movie Miracle on 34th Street, you'll know that the Post Office acknowledges his existence by delivering his mail to him.

Mike

familiar_stranger
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07 Jan 2009, 4:24 am

Wisguy wrote:

Also, if you have ever seen the movie Miracle on 34th Street, you'll know that the Post Office acknowledges his existence by delivering his mail to him.

Mike

so, where does the post get sent to?

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Roxas_XIII
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07 Jan 2009, 4:48 pm

ROFLMAO! This made my day!

I'm suprised I haven't thought about this before. Howver, even if we could build a case against Santa, I doubt we would be able to nab him. I mean, very few people could tell us he even exists, and thermal imagning scans of the North Pole have failed to give us the location of his operation. And temporal anomalies prevent us from getting him during his trip on Christmas night (I mean, how can you hit up every house with time to eat milk and cookies without being able to alter time to your advantage? It might also explain why no one has ever met the man, I mean if he's in a decelerated timestream then he would be moving extremely fast to our eyes...)

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07 Jan 2009, 10:37 pm

Santa Claus wears a Red suit, must be a Communist
and what is in that pipe that he is smooooking?

...wish I could remember the rest of the song...

Roxas_XIII
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08 Jan 2009, 4:08 pm

pakled wrote:

Santa Claus wears a Red suit, must be a Communist
and what is in that pipe that he is smooooking?

...wish I could remember the rest of the song...

Now that you mention it, Santa could very well be a Communist. I mean, his whole idea of giving gifts to the good little girls and boys could very well tie in to Marxist ideas of wealth distribution. OF course, only a mindf**k like Senator McCarthy would try to pin the hammer and sickle label on a guy like Santa, that would crush the dreams of about a million American children to know that Kris Kringle was Red.

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08 Jan 2009, 5:51 pm

Roxas_XIII wrote:

OF course, only a mindf**k like Senator McCarthy would try to pin the hammer and sickle label on a guy like Santa, that would crush the dreams of about a million American children to know that Kris Kringle was Red.

if he's a communist for wearing red don't fear, if it weren't for coca cola he'd still be dressed in green. you've got to love advertising

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